This is my first pregnancy. I have to admit that having been overweight before, I was a little terrified of putting on extra weight during my pregnancy. Now that I’m 7 months in, healthy and feeling pretty good, that fear is a distant memory, however I did need to have some coaching myself early on just to be able to come to terms with my own changing body.
One of the reasons why you struggle to do certain things is related to how well you perceive that that action is fulfilling your 6 Human Needs.
Every human being on this planet has these needs, and there are as many different ways we can think of to unconsciously fulfil them as there are people on the planet!
This simple feedback loop is the why people who have success, spiral upwards to more and more success, and sometimes those who experience ‘defeat’, challenges or setback can spiral downwards into deeper and deeper hopelessness.
Motivation is typically an outside-in type of approach to getting you to do something; extrinsic motivation. Sometimes that might be a friend or personal trainer motivating you to go to your gym session, or eat more healthy food, or weight loss competition prize. Intrinsic motivation is the inner striving to be competent or to excel at something. (I find a lot of intrinsic motivation in improving in my yoga practice for example) There is nothing wrong with wanting or creating more motivation for yourself, however often the deeper problem is that there is little inspiration.
Review your year with thoughtfulness and calm. This isn’t about beating yourself up for what you did or didn’t do, but rather to simply and dispassionately assess what worked and what didn’t, and where some small tweaks could bring more results.
It is useful to do a review like this quarterly, like a job performance review, to assess where you’re at in line with your goals and what needs to be addressed.
Your emotional states are a key factor in your success. The state of defeat is (obviously) not a state that will lead to success.
The state of defeat occurs when you have accepted that all hope is lost. When you feel like you have tried “everything”, and “nothing has worked”. You may notice yourself sighing, or with slumped shoulders when you think about your weight and body shape. Thinking about your body and lack of results may make you sad, depressed, tired, weak and helpless. You may even have begin rationalising and telling yourself that you didn’t really want it in the first place; that skinny people are mean, bitchy and picky and you’re happy being overweight, fun, and proud of it. (If you are overweight and genuinely happy, I am happy for you!)
The rationalisation is a coping mechanism, to help you get on with life. It is also a lie. It is a lie you tell yourself so you don’t have to face the distress of trying and failing again.
Gratitude has the power to transform your entire life. It can instantly shift you out of a bad mood, transform a “why me?” victim thought pattern, and help you to feel amazing.
When you use the snowball motivation technique to create change, you start out with a tiny action that is easy to achieve. When you consistently achieve that action for a week, it increases your self-belief and confidence in yourself, then when you add on another small action it is easy to achieve because you have a history of completing your commitments to yourself.
You know, that number on the scales that seems to have some kind of invisible barrier around it, no matter how hard you exercise or diet, you just cant get down past it?
Many of my clients talk about this as the major pain point in their weight loss efforts. It seems that they are doing “everything” right and still can’t get to their real dream weight.
There are many things that can cause this invisible barrier. Here are some of the most common…
Your resilience refers to your ability to embrace challenges, stress or setbacks. Including the ability to perform under pressure and the ability to bounce back emotionally and psychologically.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
-Reinhold Niebuhr
Phone: +61 2 8011 4001
Email: info@mymindcoach.com.au
Skype: KylieSexton
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