Late last year, when I was picking my 7 year old daughter up from a school holiday gym class, one of the assistants pulled me aside and said, “I just wanted to let you know that Alissa said, “My mum told me I was fat”. Surprisingly, I wasn’t mortified – I was however SHOCKED, giggling, slightly embarrassed, but very clearly told her that I would NEVER say ANYTHING remotely about her being “fat” (just to clarify, she is not overweight). The shock factor also came because I frequently say it’s not about what you look like, it’s about being able to move your body etc

I quickly realised how she might have come to think this: A few weeks prior to that, we were discussing fitness, good health, and as my philosophy is “fit for life”, I talked about how good health was important, healthy eating, regular exercise and being fit. I said that even thin people are not necessarily fit, it was about regular exercise etc.

She asked me whether I thought she was fit, and I had said, “Well, I think you could be fitter” and went on to say how it’s important to play and move your body regularly (and how watching TV is not as healthy as playing in the backyard). To my surprise, she processed “You could be fitter” to mean, “My mum thinks I’m fat”.

We had another discussion about it after the gym class, and I very CLEARLY checked in with her that she understood what I really thought, and not what she thought I meant. It’s an eye-opener when you realise how your children misinterpret things like this. I guess it reminded me that, “Communication is the response you get” – so I’ll be checking in with her more often so she can repeat back in her words, what I have said!

I agree Kylie, it’s important to role model health eating, regular exercise etc. For the last three years, I’ve entered the Mothers’ Day Classic fun run – as there is nothing I would rather be doing on Mothers’ Day than doing something healthy – it is the best gift I can give myself. Last year, the kids and my hubby entered too, and we walked the 4km, and we’ll be doing it together again next month (and each year to come) – it is my gift to them, to get them involved.

Your Auntie may or may not have been trying to be helpful when she said you’re too thin, it’s certainly not a comment that you need to take on board. She may have said it because you look so different, and/ or like I say in the article, that you making an effort with your own health, makes her uncomfortable or challenges her own values about her own health?

It’s ok for her to think you’re too thin. That’s just her opinion. You don’t need to take it on board or give it any importance. If she comments like this again, you could say something like: “Oh well, I’m feeling healthier than I have in years, and I am pretty happy with how I look, thanks for your opinion.” and then change the subject quickly.

How wonderful that you have supportive friends, focus on the support you get from them, and how YOU feel about yourself and disregard the negative comments from any others. It’s normal that some people will have negative or challenging things to say, think of these things like a test. You can either choose to let them affect you, or choose to stay strong and be true to your own choices and decisions about yourself now.

This other article I have written is to help with motivation on the last leg of your health journey. http://mymindcoach.com.au/losing-the-last-5kgs/

If you need any more help, feel free to contact me directly or comment below, All the best! Kylie.

My auntie came round and said i looked to thin for her liking, which made me annoyed since she was sabotaging my weightloss effort. what can i do to overcome this situation? I have very close friends that have been very supportive. only got 4lbs to go.

hope u can help to make it easier to deal with. The positive thing my friends have said is i look very healthy and i don’t look to thin.