This is my first pregnancy. I have to admit that having been overweight before, I was a little terrified of putting on extra weight during my pregnancy. Now that I’m 7 months in, healthy and feeling pretty good, that fear is a distant memory, however I did need to have some coaching myself early on just to be able to come to terms with my own changing body.

Disclaimer!

I am the first to admit that as far as pregnancies go, I think I’ve been blessed with a dream run so far. I am sure a lot of that has to do with having a positive attitude, healthy choices pre-pregnancy, and also a fair bit of luck. The only reason I am sharing my experience is in the hope of helping other pregnant or soon to be pregnant women with a story of a good experience of pregnancy, health & sensible weight gain. If you have had a different experience of your pregnancy /ies, please remember to only compare yourself to yourself. Everybody is very different, and every pregnancy is different (so I’ve heard!) so only take from this what is useful and helpful for you.  My hope is that you can use my experience to model the positive thoughts and mindsets I share to help you to have a healthier pregnancy.

Pre-Conception Health Plan

1. Mentally & Emotionally Ready

My husband and I we’re both ready to take the leap into parenthood. He waited 5 years for me to really feel ready, and after our wedding we decided it was time to get going! We intentionally started preparing to conceive 6 months prior to beginning ‘trying’.

2. Both Parents Healthy Bodies

We are both relatively healthy anyway, however we decided to ramp up our healthy practices and cut out all alcohol & unhealthy habits to be in tip-top shape for conception. I was also training for the Sydney Marathon, so I was running a more than usual, and became quite fit.

3. Hormonally Balanced

I removed my implanon (hormonal contraception implant) to let my hormones and cycle return to normal and we used other contraception during this period. ( I tracked my period during this time on an iphone app, which was very useful to work out when I was pregnant) At this stage I also stopped using chemical based stuff on my skin, I switched to organic, or natural, paraben, pthalate, aluminium free skin & hair care & deodorants.  I had also stopped using BPA laden plastic water bottles a long time ago. I really recommend these chemical-removing steps, if you can to limit your exposure to xeno-estrogens which can mess up your hormone balance.

First Trimester Experiences.

We conceived within the first month, I think largely due to taking the time to get super healthy. Even though I have had “woman-troubles” with ovarian cysts & cervical abnormalities in the past, I was completely positive about my ability to conceive. My internal voice said – “I’m really fertile. I’m going to fall pregnant easily.”

When I did fall pregnant, we figured it out about 6 weeks in, due to the usual sign; my period was late. I didn’t expect my breasts to get so big right at the start. I also started to get really hungry, nauseous in the morning and needed to eat every 3 hours or so. Often I would go to bed at night, and then get up again and have some cheese & gherkins or a glass of milk because I was too hungry to sleep.

I was pretty concerned that I would put on too much weight during the pregnancy and had a fair bit of mental resistance to letting go of the idea of controlling my body.

I was eating healthily, though a fair few more carbs than usual (mmm avocado, tomato & cheese on toast.) and not training at all to the intensity I would usually because I was very tired. I switched from running, spin, & weights, to yoga, cross-training, and weights, over the first trimester put on about 5 kgs. I felt a bit fat and frumpy, and had to have a coaching session to give myself permission to put on healthy weight for the baby. After my coaching session I was thinking of my extra fat like my bodies insurance policy; to keep my baby healthy through the pregnancy it stored a bit of extra energy, just in case.  Luckily, and as all the books said it would, my hunger settled down after 3 months and I got more of my energy back. Hooray.

Second Trimester Experiences.

Second trimester was pretty good for me, as soon as my hunger stopped being crazy, and I was not so tired, I resumed my normal eating routine, and slightly less intense exercise program. I wondered if the the baby was alright, as I didn’t even feel pregnant in months 4 & 5. Then I started feeling baby flutters, and I relaxed a little bit more.

Third Trimester Experiences. (so far.)

My bump is getting much bigger now, and we’re preparing for birth and baby. I have been reading loads of books and articles on pregnancy & baby health. The two best I’ve come across are: Well Adjusted Babies, and Save Our Sleep.

I am preparing for birth with the same kind of mindset I was preparing for the marathon: Putting in the training beforehand makes the marathon easy. (btw, I never got to run the marathon because I fell pregnant first) I am doing everything I can to assist with creating a healthy birth experience. Obviously a large part of that is not under my control at all, however I am taking responsibility for what I can; including: Chiropractic visits weekly, pelvic floor exercises, epi-no birth training (soon), regular exercise, reading & researching, positive visualisation & hypnosis.

Mindset tips & beliefs to model.

My health is the no 1 priority.

Many women say things like:”I’m going to get fat anyway so I might as well eat what I want”  This is a limiting belief and prevents you from creating a healthy experience for your pregnancy and afterward. There is no reason to stop healthy habits, if anything, it is even more critical; as the food you eat is not just affecting you, but creating the cells of your child. I make sure I take my pre-natal vitamins, juice plus, omega-3′s and eat loads of healthy vegetables (raw when possible),wild deep-sea fish like salmon & mackerel, lean meat & eggs, nuts, legumes, fruit, and some dairy & grains.

I will keep active every day.

There were many times I didn’t feel like going to the gym, especially in the first trimester, but I went anyway and did something light, like yoga, walking or swimming to keep up the habit of going.  I would say to myself just get out the door and do something. I read a great e-book which had a lot of sensible advice from a PT & Mum specialising in Pregnancy. Pregnancy without Pounds

I am allowed to rest when I am tired.

I took lots of naps in my lunch breaks and took it easy days whenever I could. Even though it doesn’t look like it on the outside, you are doing a LOT on the inside.

My body knows what it needs to do. I am creating a miracle.

Giving myself permission to trust in my body was a huge step forward, and allowed me to remove the fear and pressure about staying slim, putting on too much, or not enough weight. I have been listening to my body, eating when I’m hungry and stopping when I’m full, and it really does know what to do.

There is a difference between feeling like ice-cream & a pregnancy craving.

My only legitimate strange pregnancy craving was for brussel sprouts early on in my pregnancy. ( There’s lots of folate in brussel sprouts!) I also decided to begin drinking milk again. Craving ice-cream and sweets is not a ‘pregnancy craving’ that you need to follow. It is a just a thought, often an emotional or habitual craving like any other you may have had before you were pregnant. Deal with the emotion and the craving will go away. If you are genuinely hungry, eat something healthy if you can before giving in to the craving.

I will do the best I can and let go of the rest.

I have seen too many Mums put incredible pressure on themselves through their pregnancy, post-pregnancy and while looking after their children. Wracking themselves with guilt about every choice. All you can do is the best you know how, make the decisions, do what you can, accept that nobody is perfect and let go of the guilt, your kids will be better off with a relaxed, calm, happy, imperfect mum, than a stressed out, guilt-ridden “perfect” one.

Inspiring healthy pregnancy articles I found…

• Poliquin – Why Omega-3 is SO important during pregnancy.
• Bodybuilding – Stay fit during pregnancy 
• Precision Nutrition – How to exercise during pregnancy
• Precision Nutrition – What to eat during pregnancy
• Precision Nutrition – Profile & BabyBells Review
• Precision Nutrition – Beating New Mom Fear
• Pre-Natal Strength Training
• Sally Dixey – Facts about Pregnancy
• Belly Bandit – For post-pregnancy waist slim down.
• Pregnant Chicken – This blog made me laugh so much I had to get up and pee.

Join the conversation

What were your big learnings, challenges and ‘aha’s through your pregnancy, and afterwards looking after your baby and your health?
Have you got any good advice or tips for me and the other ladies in the community?

Do you ever wonder why some things are quite easy for you to be motivated to do, and other things you really struggle with?

One of the reasons why you struggle to do certain things is related to how well you perceive that that action is fulfilling your 6 Human Needs.

Every human being on this planet has these needs, and there are as many different ways we can think of to unconsciously fulfil them as there are people on the planet!

Ecology – filling your needs in a healthy way.

Ideally, we want to fulfil our needs in a way that is ecological. That is; it feels good, is good for us, good for others, and serves the greater good.

Many of us find ways to fulfil our needs that are not 100% ecological. Here’s some examples of things we can do that are not 100% ecological. Taking drugs or getting drunk repeatedly may feel good in the moment, but is not good for us. Crime, stealing, taking from others might feel like an exciting rush and be good for the person doing it but is not good for others or for society. Martyring yourself to others needs might not feel good for you, or be good for you, but you tell yourself that it is good for others.

As you read through this list, ask yourself: How do I currently fulfil these needs in my life? Am I fulfilling these needs in a way that is ecological? Feels good? Is good for me? Good for others? Good for society?

1. Certainty / Security

Every human being has a deep need to feel safe, secure and certain. To know there is going to be food, shelter, safety, and a degree of consistency in the world. One healthy way to fulfil the need for certainty is to develop a strong faith in yourself that allows you to know that you can handle whatever comes your way. An unhealthy way to fulfil this need is to stay in a job or relationship that does not serve you simply because you know it.

2. Uncertainty / Variety

We also have a need for variety, difference and excitement. If everything was certain and the same all the time we would get bored and uninspired. One simple, healthy way to fulfil the need for variety might be to cook a different meal each week, or take on creative projects at work, or go on holidays to foreign countries.  An unhealthy way of fulfilling this need might be to jump from job to job, or from one short term relationship to another.

3. Significance

We all need to feel special and unique, like our voice matters and what we do counts. An unhealthy way to fulfil this need might be to bully or tease people, tearing them down, so you feel better than them, or to buy expensive, fancy things that you can’t afford in order to feel special. A healthy way to fulfil your need for significance might be to write a book, or start a business, to volunteer in your community, or to consciously lead your family.

4. Connection & Love

The need for love and connection is universal. If you don’t feel a sense of connection or camaraderie with your workmates, it can make your workday very challenging. If you don’t feel loved and treasured by your partner, you might not stay in that relationship for very long without a change.

5. Growth

These last two needs can be described as spiritual needs. You have a need to grow and expand as a human being, expand your consciousness, expand your knowledge, expand your reach, success and achievement in the world.

6. Contribution

You also have a need to give back, to make a difference, to use your growth, knowledge and uniqueness to impact the world in some way, and to leave a legacy. Whether that be the world of your family, your community or the whole planet. Each of us has a need to contribute and to give back.

Tony Robbins is the master of the 6 Human Needs and has explained this theory in his books and programs.  You can watch the 20 minute Tony Robbins TED talk on what drives us, where he discusses the 6 Human Needs here:

http://www.ted.com/talks/tony_robbins_asks_why_we_do_what_we_do.html

How well you meet your needs.

• What is something you currently do – that you enjoy doing and are motivated to do?
• Go through the 6 needs evaluating how much that activity fulfils those needs for you on a scale of 1-10? (10 being this activity totally fulfils this need.)
• Notice how this activity will likely fill most of those needs well.
• What activity do you currently struggle to do, something you know you ‘should’ do, but never feel an inner drive to actually complete?
• Rate how well that activity fulfils your 6 needs.
• You will find that the activities you struggle to complete are those that don’t fulfil a couple of your core needs. (They will be below a 6/10 on more than a few needs)
• You can make them more appealing by asking yourself; How could doing this activity fulfil this need for me?
• Evaluate your life more broadly by asking how well an area of your life filfils your needs. eg: How well does my relationship currently meet my needs? how well does my current financial situation? How well does my career?

When you evaluate your life more broadly, if you find there are areas of your life that are really low at meeting your needs (under a 6 out of 10), you will be feeling pain and stress in those areas.

Then you can ask:
What action could I now take to make my (area) more (need)?
eg: What action could I now take to ensure my finances are more certain?
What action could I now take to give my relationship more variety?

Evaluate your needs – Copy & paste for each activity & area

Area of life / Activity:

1. Certainty           /10  Action I could take to improve this:
2. Variety              /10   Action I could take to improve this:
3. Significance     /10    Action I could take to improve this:
4. Connection       /10   Action I could take to improve this:
5. Growth              /10   Action I could take to improve this:
6. Contribution     /10   Action I could take to improve this:

Join the conversation!

• Have you done the evaluations of your life areas and activities?
• What insights and ‘aha’s did you have?
• What actions will you take with this new understanding?

The results you achieve are in direct proportion to the action you take. What determines the actions you take? Your potential plus your belief.

This simple feedback loop is the why people who have success, spiral upwards to more and more success, and sometimes those who experience ‘defeat’, challenges or setback can spiral downwards into deeper and deeper hopelessness.

Your potential is limitless.

Your potential as a human being is so much greater than you imagine, as to be almost limitless. Amazingly, you can also increase your genetic, or physiological potential with visualisation, practice and self-belief.

Your actions determine your future.

The simplest way to predict the future is to create it! Your actions today determine the future you will enjoy or regret. If you have a choice between instant gratification and delayed gratification, choose delayed gratification every time. When you choose instant gratification, you will pay the price later, when you’ve long forgotten that sweet instant pleasure. When you choose delayed gratification, you quickly forget the work you put in and the rewards you receive seem almost magical. This is the secret to creating the upward spiral!

Focus on the results you want.

When you focus with laser clear vision on the results you want, it is almost like you can taste and feel it, experiencing the pleasure even before it has happened. Focussing on the results and what you will achieve helps you to make the tough choices early on, because you know the rewards will be so sweet!

Practice believing in yourself. Create certainty that you will get it done!

Your mind is a stack of beliefs on beliefs. Beliefs about beliefs. You have beliefs in the back of your mind that you don’t even know are there. How do they get there? Your beliefs are seeded and created by your experiences and what you focus on about those experiences. You already have a thousand experiences of success in your memories, though you may not count them as successes yet. You learned to walk & talk, two of the most dizzyingly complex tasks a human can perform, and you did it all before the age of 4! When you focus with belief on the results you want, and you take action to make it happen, when it does happen, it re-instills certainty in your belief: you’re like: “I knew that would happen!”

Simple tricks to train yourself into an upward spiral of awesomeness!

1. Seed your mind with stories of inspiration, triumph and achievement.

Every time you watch an inspiring movie or read a book about achievement, your mind experiences that event as if it were you doing it! This is why action, adventure & romance movies are so popular, we can live vicariously through the characters. We can get emotional reading a story or watching a movie that speaks to us, and build our belief in what’s possible for people to achieve and overcome. Avoid unnecessary exposure to stories of despair and hopelessness.

2. Smile more. (all the time!)

Watch the sequence that happens when you just smile, whether you’re happy or not.
Action – Smile!
Result – Boosts your immune system, lowers blood pressure, releases feel good hormones
Belief – You start to think more positive thoughts
Potential – Your potential for daily happiness expands!

3. Take a power pose.

Action – Lean back with your arms up and out, look up. Or stand like wonder-woman.
Result –  After 2 mins in a power pose your testosterone rises (thats your confidence and power hormone) and your cortisol lowers (thats your stress hormone) !
Belief – You begin to think more confident & expansive thoughts.
Potential – your likelihood of success increases.

Watch this TED video for the scientific lowdown and studies on how it works.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4386jSnFEU

4. Reframe your challenges & setbacks

Stop yourself going into a negative spiral when you experience a setback or defeat by focussing on what you did achieve & how you can learn from it. Even Thomas Edison experienced setbacks in his inventing career, he famously said “I haven’t failed 999 times. I’ve found out 999 ways not to make the electric lightbulb!” Every ‘failure’ is one less way you ever have to try again, therefore it is one step closer to success!

Motivation is typically an outside-in type of approach to getting you to do something; extrinsic motivation. Sometimes that might be a friend or personal trainer motivating you to go to your gym session, or eat more healthy food, or weight loss competition prize. Intrinsic motivation is the inner striving to be competent or to excel at something. (I find a lot of intrinsic motivation in improving in my yoga practice for example) There is nothing wrong with wanting or creating more motivation for yourself, however often the deeper problem is that there is little inspiration.

Inspiration is a feeling of wanting to do something, either for the joy of doing it, or because you connect deeply with the larger purpose of that action and feel internally compelled to do it.

Values & Inspiration

You have a hierarchy of values. Things that are most important to you and things that are least important to you. You classify these things in a clear order from most important to least important. You may not be aware of your values hierarchy at all, unless you do an exercise to discover what they are. You will find that those things that are highest on your values you will be inspired to do. For example, if your family is one of your highest values, then no-one has to tell you to get up and feed your children, or take them to school. Even when you are tired and grumpy, you are internally compelled to act for them because you care so deeply about them. The higher purpose of caring for them compels you to overcome your tiredness and get on with it.

Those things that are lower on our values are the things that we put off and complain we need more motivation to do. Those lower priorities will always be trumped by the higher ones. If you struggle to get to the gym and find that “something always comes up” or you “never have enough money” to pay for a membership or get organic, healthy food, then it is likely that health & fitness is not a high priority for you. This is not right or wrong. It simply is an expression of your current values. The things you do have time and money for are those things that are higher on your values.

So, if you want to change your results, and get more inspiration with your health and fitness, you need to raise it up on your values at least to the top 5.

If you want to increase your intrinsic motivation, (which is the more self-directed and lasting motivation) you will need to increase your value on excellence or achievement or determination, whichever words resonate with you the most.

Tips to increase your inspiration for health & fitness…

1. Create a vision board or screensaver with images that inspire.

This is a simple and fun thing to do to remind you daily of your goals and inspirations. Collate inspiring pictures into a collage of images, inspiring quotes, sayings and stick them together on a board, to look at each day.

2. List your reasons why you want to achieve better health & fitness.

Listing your reasons why achieving better health & fitness will improve your life and make it better will help to raise the value up in your hierarchy. It will make it more important in your mind. List at least 100 reasons why your life would be better if your health was better.

3. Give yourself permission to go for (and get) the results.

Millions of people over the world have overcome incredible obstacles and still managed to get fit and healthy. You can too. Give yourself permission to achieve the results, and you will find yourself more inspired to take the action required.

4. Read books & biographies, watch movies of inspiring true stories.

When you read or watch incredible true stories of overcoming amazing adversity and challenges, you can’t help but be inspired and think: if they can overcome that, I can overcome this!

Here’s a couple of incredible stories you might like to get you started…

• It’s not what happens to you. It’s what you do about it” – W Mitchell - This incredible man endured two horrific accidents leaving him paralysed, and burnt beyond recognition, he endured excruciating pain to heal from those accidents and has gone on to live an inspiring and successful life.
• It’s not about the bike. My journey back to life – Lance Armstrong - Inspiring Lance Armstrong recounts his incredible story overcoming cancer and the gruelling training for his consecutive Tour de France wins.
• Mans Search for Meaning – Viktor Frankl - Viktor Frankl endured the Nazi death camps between 1942- 1945, all of his family perished within the walls. He recounts a story of enabling himself to endure the tortures by imagining himself teaching the lessons he learnt in the future, after he survived.

What are your tips for more inspiration?

Share your own inspiring story below, or share what books, or movies inspired you.

Live event to Inspire you.

Check out the next Elevate Events event to help you get inspired, learn new strategies for a healthy and successful life and also meet other wonderful inspiring women.

Review your year with thoughtfulness and calm. This isn’t about beating yourself up for what you did or didn’t do, but rather to simply and dispassionately assess what worked and what didn’t, and where some small tweaks could bring more results.

It is useful to do a review like this quarterly, like a job performance review, to assess where you’re at in line with your goals and what needs to be addressed.

Write down the answers to this and keep it in a file for year-end review & goals. Then when the end of this year comes you can compare your progress.

Questions to help you assess and review…

Last Years Goals

• What were my resolutions or goals for 2011?
• Did I have clear, specific goals that were written down and reviewed?
• Did I take action towards my goals?
• Did I achieve the goals I set? Did I partially achieve them?
• What were my greatest accomplishments for 2011 that I am most proud of?
• And what else?  (there’s always more)
• What actions did I take to achieve these accomplishments?
• What strengths and skills enabled me to be able to take these actions?
• How can I apply these strengths to move forward in 2012?
• What did I learn to help me achieve these accomplishments?

Challenges & Barriers

• What did I intend to do in 2011 that did not get done?
• What were the internal challenges or barriers I faced in 2011 that contributed to not accomplishing everything I wanted? (thoughts, beliefs)
• What were the external barriers of challenged I faced?
• How did I deal with each of these?
• If I were to face them again now, could I handle it differently?
• How did not achieving those goals serve me last year?
• What have I learned from those challenges?
• What did I achieve instead?
• How did those challenges serve me?
• What does it mean to me now that I didn’t achieve what I initially wanted?
• Does that empower me? If not, what else could I learn or realise that would help me to let go of the past and move forward?
• When I did overcome barriers and challenges, what skills and strengths did I use?

Gratitude

• How have I grown from my accomplishments and my challenges?
• What am I most grateful for as I reflect back on the year?
• What have I learned as I reflect back over the whole year?
• Who are my greatest supporters or support systems in my life?
• How can I share my gratitude with those who have supported me?

Hopes & Plans 

• What would need to happen for this year to be my best ever?
• What would I like to be different in the upcoming year?
• What would it feel like to experience this difference?
• What small steps can I take to move towards experiencing this?
• What am I willing to do to make this change a reality?
• What barriers and challenges do I anticipate?
•  What strategies can I put into place to overcome these barriers?

Goals & Action Steps

• What are my specific goals for each area of my life?
• Do they fit with each other?
• What is my overarching intention or focus for this year?
• How can I break those goals down into quarterly, monthly, weekly action steps?
• Diarise the outcome goals and the action steps.
• What is the first step I need to take today to get closer to my goals?

For assistance with goal setting that works, read this post. 

Let me know how you go with this review and please share your greatest lessons from the year, so we can all learn from each other!

If you have started, tried and failed at many diets over the years, you may be in a state of defeat. If you feel sad, depressed, over it, sick and tired of trying to lose weight this is for you!

This article is a call to arms! Are you ready for it?

Your emotional states are a key factor in your success. The state of defeat is (obviously) not a state that will lead to success.

What is defeat?

The state of defeat occurs when you have accepted that all hope is lost. When you feel like you have tried “everything”, and “nothing has worked”. You may notice yourself sighing, or with slumped shoulders when you think about your weight and body shape. Thinking about your body and lack of results may make you sad, depressed, tired, weak and helpless. You may even have begin rationalising and telling yourself that you didn’t really want it in the first place; that skinny people are mean, bitchy and picky and you’re happy being overweight, fun, and proud of it. (If you are overweight and genuinely happy, I am happy for you!)

The rationalisation is a coping mechanism, to help you get on with life. It is also a lie. It is a lie you tell yourself so you don’t have to face the distress of trying and failing again.

Shift the mindset of defeat.

The good news is what has lead to you feeling defeated are a bunch of thoughts that are also lies, or distortions. You have not tried everything. You have probably tried about 3 to 10 things. And you can’t say for certain that nothing works, because there are thousands of success stories that prove the opposite.

To start with you need to shift that mindset of defeat. You have allowed yourself to be put down for too long, (by yourself and others) Anything worth having is worth fighting for. If you really want this you’re going to need to get tough with your own mindset, and absolutely not accept those thoughts:

• I can’t do it
• I don’t deserve it
• It’s just for other people.
• It will never happen for me.

You already know how to succeed.

You already have hundreds of examples of how you can make healthy choices, how you have succeeded, how you have persevered when it was really difficult. If you are reading this, you have already learned how to walk, talk, and read. Do you think you gave up after 10 tries when you first attempted to walk as a baby? Did you give up when you fell down time and time again?  You kept going and you succeeded.  You already have within you the resources you need to succeed at this too. It’s not your body that needs the work, it’s your mind.

Find your fire! Your warrior princess!

I want you to find that internal fire within, the fire that says “No I will not stand for this, one moment longer!” When you hear yourself thinking “I can’t do it. It’s for other people”  and get the sad and defeated feeling, I want to you call on your internal vigour and resources and say to yourself  ”No. That’s not right. I CAN DO IT! I’m going to EARN this.”

You earn it by being disciplined with yourself, but a discipline that comes from self-love rather than punishment. a discipline that says “I CAN, Dammit!”  Find your inner warrior and stand up for yourself. Fight for your happiness and peace of mind. No-one’s going to give it to you on a platter.

Shift yourself to the state of fire and vigour. Get frustrated with that old way of thinking, it’s been lying to you! Allow that frustration to build until you feel the fire of the desire for change inside. Imagine your own internal warrior princess giving you strength, courage and determination. Feel it flooding through your body.

Be tactical, plan your attack.

Next, don’t try and change everything all at once. Pick one small, healthy habit you would like to install. Focus on that.

That may be something like:

• listening to this hypnosis session each day.
• food shopping each week.
• eating a healthy breakfast every day.
• eating a salad every day.
• doing some activity for 10 mins each day.

Just one thing at a time. Keep doing that until it is so natural to you that you don’t have to think about it. Only then, go on to the next habit. When you focus on one easy habit you can build your self belief day by day.

No-one else can change your life but you! Fight for yourself!

YOU ARE WORTH IT!!! I believe in you. xx

It’s time to let go of judging your body and begin being grateful for it.

Gratitude has the power to transform your entire life. It can instantly shift you out of a bad mood, transform a “why me?” victim thought pattern, and help you to feel amazing.

If you’re reading this, then you already have a million things to be grateful for. You are educated, you can read, and you are so rich that you own your own computer to read it on.

I have recently noticed in my yoga classes the ritual of giving thanks to your body at the beginning and end of the session, I love this practice, and know that being truly thankful for your body has the power to completely transform it.

Letting go of self-judgement

We live in a dichotomous world, right & wrong, black & white, acceptable & unacceptable. We live in a world where the general standards of beauty and body shape are set by the popular consciousness and media. We all know these standards are mostly unrealistic and unhealthy. So instead of comparing yourself to glossy, retouched magazines, start comparing yourself to YOURSELF! When you compare yourself to yourself, you can inspire yourself and strive to improve in all areas. You can run a little further, stretch a little more, be a little kinder, smile a little more.

Take your body as a whole. Not in bits.

So often as women we take that “right & wrong” thinking and apply it to ourselves, and to parts of ourselves. I have heard hundreds of women say things like this to me; “I like my ankles, but not my thighs, my belly is disgusting and I hate my flabby arms.” I want you to practice thinking of your body as a whole. You need all of your body to function. Those bits of yourself that you don’t like or hate, are crying out for some love and attention. Be kind to yourself. Yes, even the cellulite on your thighs.

Thank your body.

Did you know that the reason women have cellulite and men don’t is because of oestrogen? Biologically we are designed to carry a little more body fat than men, so we can feed and nurture babies. Body fat is like nature’s insurance policy against famine. It’s just stored energy. We have cellulite because it’s much safer to store the fat under the skin, and not inside our arteries. Men have much more risk when they are carrying extra fat, because their fat tends to store inside their arteries and around internal organs. That’s what creates that hard, pot-belly in men. Dangerous fat. Thank your cellulite because it protects your internal organs from dangerous fat deposits. (I’m not saying you shouldn’t continue to strive to improve your health or body shape, just begin from a place of love & acceptance rather than punishment & self-loathing.)

Love your thighs!

These tips will help to improve cellulite, so get loving your thighs and incorporate these habits into your life…

1. Spend some time loving your thighs with a dry body brush before your showers to get the blood circulating. You can also give them a vigorous massage as you soap up in the shower, anything that gets the blood flowing will help.
2. Make sure you’re drinking plenty of water and eating a healthy diet.
3. Follow a regular strength training routine focussing on the lower body including moves like lunges, step ups, squats and dead lifts at least 2-3 times per week.
4. A bit of moisturising fake tan really will improve the appearance of your legs.
5. Make up a home remedy cellulite mask. Dr. Oz says this really works! I haven’t tried it yet, but thought I’d share anyway –  Equal amounts of coffee & sugar, add olive oil to make a paste. Rub it on like a body scrub, and leave for a few minutes, then wash off in the shower. Apparently the caffeine can be absorbed by the skin and it has a metabolising effect on the fat, helping to break it down.
6. Smile and get on with life. Even supermodels have some cellulite. Confidence, a bit of lippy and good dressing works wonders regardless of your body type.

Past choices = present results.

Everything you see and feel in your body now is simply a result of the past choices you’ve made. Your body is only giving you feedback from your past choices. If you’re not happy with the feedback from the current state of your body, you need to make better choices for yourself. You will more easily make better choices when you love your body and want to treat it well.

When you are feeling down on yourself list in your mind all the things you can be grateful for. Keep going till your state “pops” and you really feel that gratitude welling up inside.

Are you truly grateful for your body?

No, this is not some new winter sport.

It’s a very simple and SUPER effective motivation technique using the power of momentum.

When you use the snowball motivation technique to create change, you start out with a tiny action that is easy to achieve. When you consistently achieve that action for a week, it increases your self-belief and confidence in yourself, then when you add on another small action it is easy to achieve because you have a history of completing your commitments to yourself.

The problem with huge changes.

One of the biggest problems with massive life changes is that it encourages the All or Nothing mindset which is not conducive to long term success.  This is where you go hammer and tongs for a few days then fall off the wagon and stop completely, until you gird yourself to go at it like crazy again.  Using the snowball change seems slow at first, but you will quite quickly gain momentum from your simple changes. And they will last because they are so easy.

When you gain momentum, you are using the energy of the achievement of the first simple change to help propel you forward. You are also changing your lifestyle one thing at a time by adding in a new healthy habit. When you add in a new healthy habit, and focus on that, you are positively and proactively focussed, rather than when you commit to stop something, which is negatively focussed. When you add in enough small, healthy habits, you will eventually crowd out your old unhealthy ones, and they will simply fall away.

Here’s how to do it…

1. Decide on ONE area you’d like to improve. Fitness, nutrition, strength, flexibility, relaxation, etc.
2. Start with a ridiculously small action that you can easily commit to daily.  eg: 3 deep breaths at lunch time, 1 hamstring stretch when I get out of bed each morning, Eat two vegetables each day.
3. Do that action each day for a week or more until it is so easy you barely even think about it.
4. Expand that action by adding on something else small.
5. Repeat till you’re slim, sexy and smiling!

Test it out!

Got questions? Hit me up!
Or test it out and let me know how you go.

Have you ever found yourself stuck at a weight plateau?

You know, that number on the scales that seems to have some kind of invisible barrier around it, no matter how hard you exercise or diet, you just cant get down past it?

Many of my clients talk about this as the major pain point in their weight loss efforts. It seems that they are doing “everything” right and still can’t get to their real dream weight.

There are many things that can cause this invisible barrier. Here are some of the most common…

Only focussing on losing weight.

If you are only focussing on losing weight, you are actually focussing your mind on the fatness that you don’t want. It’s like driving while only looking in the rear view mirror. You absolutely must be able to picture your future self clearly, to feel, hear, smell and taste that moment of success. That will create a compelling forward vision that can get you over the hump.

Associating food with pleasure and comfort.

Food is just food. Just fuel for your body and brain. That’s all. It’s not love, or happiness, or comfort. Those are ideas that you may have associated with food through your experiences, memories and beliefs. It’s not food though. They are abstract concepts that you have linked to eating. You can get comfort, love and happiness without food. Really, you can.

Having sneaky negative beliefs about slim people.

Even though you really want to be slim. If you’re struggling, you may have sneaky, unconscious negative beliefs about slim people. Some of the ideas I have heard over the years include; slim people are no fun, they are picky, bitchy, nasty, arrogant. If you’ve had ‘skinny bitch’ thoughts over the years and like to think of yourself as a caring, fun, relaxed person, this could be an invisible, mental barrier that creates stuckness and sabotage because unconsciously you don’t want to become nasty and bitchy.

Wanting to reward yourself for how far you’ve come.

When you have already lost weight, you tend to compare yourself with how you used to be, and as you get less fat, you feel like you have something to celebrate. The problem is that you might want to celebrate with a cupcake or glass of wine or two.

Not believing it’s possible to really get there. It’s just too hard.

Many women have such a long and arduous history with their weight battle that they don’t believe that it’s really possible for them to achieve the results they secretly dream of. This is a huge barrier in itself.

You’re stuck in the middle of big and small.

Often the set point, stuck weight is not the fattest you’ve ever been, it’s usually somewhere in the middle between your biggest and your goal weight. The reason it’s in the middle is because your two end points hold you there. Imagine you have two giant rubber bands around your waist, at one end is the biggest you, (painful fatness & comforting food) and at the other end is the smallest you (painful deprivation, and slimness). These represent extremes of your personality, both pulling you in different directions. Because both sides have merit, both have benefits and drawbacks, and both are inaccurately distorted, you end up fluctuating somewhere in the middle to unconsciously avoid the pain of both ends.

If you are stuck like this, AND you want to make a lasting change. Email me to apply for coaching to make a massive mindset shift before the New Year, or get started on my Kickstart Motivation Program instantly.

Why are some people able to easily bounce back and recover from life’s problems; from losing a job, to being hit by a natural disaster, while others break under the pressure and slide into emotional distress or Depression?

Your resilience refers to your ability to embrace challenges, stress or setbacks. Including the ability to perform under pressure and the ability to bounce back emotionally and psychologically.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
-Reinhold Niebuhr

Contrary to popular belief, resilience is not a trait that you either have or don’t have. Resilience is a skill that can be developed. It is the result of a set of beliefs and mental, emotional, physiological skills that create an ability to be resilient.

Someone who has developed strong resilience will be able to handle outside influences easily, without deviating from their own purpose. Often people who have naturally developed resilience will have experienced a challenge or setback during childhood and had to learn coping skills.

10 skills that enhance your ability to be resilient

1. An ability to manage your emotional state, and maintain optimism through a long term perspective.
2. An ability to accept things that cannot be changed.
3. An ability to take responsibility for yourself and your own actions.
4. An ability to focus under pressure and block out extraneous details.
5. An ability to be organized and proactive.
6. An ability to be present in your own body, even in uncomfortable situations.
7. An ability to communicate effectively with others and be assertive.
8. An ability to be socially connected.
9. An ability to be flexible, open and adaptable.
10. An ability to take a positive approach to problem solving. Ask “how can I…” instead of “why did this..?”

Everyone has these capacities in some situations, the key factor in resilient people that allows them to bring these abilities into play in stressful situations is an internal locus of control. Resilient people believe in their own ability to make change and be in charge of their lives. Less resilient people believe that outside influences are in control of their lives and are often concerned with what people think and like to please others. Regular exercise, relaxation and social interaction train the abilities that lead to resilience and allow you to move with life’s challenges rather than being blocked by them.

Some beliefs that can enhance your ability to be resilient:

• This too shall pass. It will not last forever.  It is just temporary.
• I am in charge of my own emotions. I get to choose how this affects me.
• Nature always maintains an equilibrium of support and challenge. When I am challenged I will also be supported.
• Nothing can affect me without my permission.
• I can learn from this.
• I have the strength to overcome this.
• I am growing and learning with every challenge.
• I am the author of my life. I create my situation and circumstances.
• I can take decisive action now.
• I can make the best decisions possible based on the information I have now.
• I can learn from my past.
• Regardless of what happens, I will be ok.
• Every problem is an opportunity in disguise.
• I embrace challenges, and thrive on them.

Questions that create resilient thinking…

• How can I learn from this?
• How have I contributed to this situation?
• Where am I currently being supported?
• What are the facts?
• Is there more I need to know in order to act positively?
• How can I turn this into a win:win?
• Do others need my support now? How can I support them?
• How can I move forward from here? Where do I want to go?
• How can I break this problem down into smaller steps?
• What needs to be done next?

Join the conversation:

What is your experience of resilience or dealing with challenge in your life?