Bianca: Welcome, everyone, to the Queen’s Collective Podcast! We specialize in helping overachieving women create epic success in every area of their life so that they can fulfill their divine potential and really create their master plan of they want to achieve out of their life. Who I have today is Suzanne Culberg from Health Without Shame.
Suzanne has been an amazing addition to our tribe of being somebody who’s an amazing example of when you totally invest in yourself and you have the courage to show up and look at those dark recesses of your mind, the things that are holding you back from that dream life of yours, and instead turn them into the golds of your life, amazing, amazing things are possible. And so, Suzanne, welcome to you!
Suzanne: Thanks Bianca. Excited to be here!
Bianca: Now one of the epic tangible results of your journey has been that you have lost 73 kilos in the last 2 years without dieting, without punishing exercise – and you’ve kicked off this coaching business as an NLP qualified practitioner as well.
So you’ve got all these amazing skills and resources under your belt and it’s been really fascinating from an outside observer looking in, seeing how much people are like, “Oh my god, I want what she’s having! How do I lose 73 kilos without dieting? How can I eat exactly what Suzanne eats? How can I do the exact exercises that Suzanne did?”
And so, you are helping us understand the 3 biggest myths that most people get caught up in when they start asking these questions. So do you want to just give a little bit of a rundown of what you’re going to be sharing with us today? Just a little overview.
It’s not necessarily what you eat but why, or it’s not necessarily what you exercise but what’s driving it.
Suzanne: Yeah, totally. I get those questions a lot, like, “I want to eat exactly what you eat, I want to exercise exactly how you exercise.” In the past, that’s the kind of questions I would ask people who had been widely successful. And what I’m going to be sharing everybody today is actually so much deeper, like the exercise, what you eat, all that sort of stuff is really on a surface – and the real nuts and bolts and the real transformation in happens in the stuff underneath. It’s not necessarily what you eat but why, or it’s not necessarily what you exercise but what’s driving it. Yeah, that kind of thing.
Bianca: That’s really, really cool. And so, if you were to give a bit of a synopsis of your journey to date, like where were you before you reached out for help from Kylie and I? What was going on for you?
Suzanne: I felt like I’ve done everything. I know everybody says that – but I kept going from program to program or person to person looking for the answer. Like somebody had to have the answer and I just haven’t found it yet, and I put everything outside of myself into someone else. And then when I found someone, I’d do exactly what they said – and I’d get results for a bit, but then after a while it’d be like my inner rebel comes in, it’s like, “I don’t want to do that anymore.” And I just felt like I was a failure because I wasn’t motivated enough or didn’t have enough willpower to stick it out.
I felt like I was a failure because I wasn’t motivated enough or didn’t have enough willpower to stick it out.
When I found you and Kylie, I was at a place where I just couldn’t face another diet, I couldn’t be told I had to eat kale and I had to do this and I had to exercise at 6am. I couldn’t do it – because I knew that I couldn’t do it forever.
So, I was at a point where whatever it was that I did had to be something that I could do for life. And I know everyone uses that lifestyle change which can get quite cliche – but I was actually there. I was like, “If I can’t do it forever, I don’t want to do it at all.” You know what I mean?
Bianca: Do you know what I think? That’s such a good point. Because I think most people think a lifestyle change just means I can deprive myself for longer. They still use a diet mentality thinking that I’ll just find something that’s not too extreme and then I’ll be able to sacrifice myself enough to do it. And just like you said, if you do any kind of sacrificing, eventually your inner rebel is going to come out and rebel.
Suzanne: Yeah, and it’s powerful. Like even now sometimes you think, “Oh, I’d like to do a little but more, so I’ll just do this for a couple of weeks.” And I have to pull myself up and say, “A couple of weeks I’ll do it”, so I’ll get results for a couple of weeks, and then I’ll go back to what I’m doing now and then those results will go. So if it’s not something that is sustainable, I don’t want to do it at all.
Bianca: Yeah, that’s really amazing. What was really the clincher for you to finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, to finally get over the big hill? Because you shared with me that this dieting journey has been a long one since forever back. How did you finally get over that diet mindset? When it did it start and when did you realize that it stopped?
I started dieting from age 4.
Suzanne: I started dieting from age 4. I was going to be a flower girl in my sister’s wedding and I didn’t fit my dress, so my whole family, we all went on a diet to fit in to this dress. And we did that for years. The whole time I was at home, I could pretty much remember mostly, we would go on a diet on Monday, we would all invariably give up by Thursday, we would eat everything over the weekend like a last hurrah. I don’t know how many last hurrahs I’ve had in my life. Start again on Monday. And I did that for… I moved out at 18, so probably 14 years of that. Like not every single week – but a lot.
Bianca: I understand all of us mums, we’re all doing the best we can with the tools we’ve got – but I can only imagine the kind of impact… especially, we wouldn’t have known the extent of having a diet mindset imposed upon somebody so young back then as well – but looking back, what kind of effect do you think that had on your model of the world from thinking about that at 4 years old?
Suzanne: It’s shocking. We were born in the ‘80s so it was the whole no-fat, kind of war on fat era. I remember I’d go to sleepovers at people’s houses and they’d be like regular sized people. And they’d be eating like butter and avocado and I’d be like, “Oh no, I can’t have that, it’s full of fat.”
I look back now and I think, “I wonder how they didn’t laugh?” Maybe they went to the kitchen or out of my sight and laugh. Because there was this fat kid saying, “I can’t eat avocado because it’s full of fat.”
Everything in our house was skim milk and skim yogurt and diet this and diet that – and it just tasted awful. So what do they do? They fill it with sugar. So, growing up, there was that, like the whole war on fat.
If I can’t do it exactly right, why do it at all?
And then there was the kind of “we’re going to do this exactly right until we can’t” and then eat all the things that were forbidden. So, all the chocolate and the chips and the ice cream and all that sort of stuff. It was kind of this all or nothing, black and white mindset, which was kind of pervasive too because it went into other areas of my life. Very perfectionistic. If I can’t do it exactly right, why do it at all?
And I think you asked what was the big turner for me to finally get over this? There were a few things – but I think the biggest one was becoming a mother myself, because I didn’t want to pass these habits on to my children.
Bianca: I think the really great wisdom that you share too, Suzanne, is that it’s bigger just the weight issue, it’s bigger than just “Should I eat avocado or shouldn’t I?” “Should I grow up and let my child know it’s okay to eat avocado?” Because I think what really happened in those moments is that you made decisions like “I can’t trust myself. I can’t approve of myself. My body is broken. I need to deprive myself in order to fit in.” There’s a whole bunch of underneath meanings about the world that are happening that just happen to take on the form of avocado and butter.
So this isn’t just about whether or not fat is good or fat isn’t good, or whether or not this is the best way to lose weight or isn’t. It’s fundamentally the same ideas that held you back in every area of your life, wasn’t it?
Suzanne: Totally, it’s across all areas. If you can’t trust your self instinctively and knowing what to eat and how to feed yourself, then how do you know that you’re falling in the right career or you got the right friends or you’re doing the right job or whatever? You question yourself and you kind of look to other people instead of having your own intrinsic belief that you’re doing what’s right for you.
Bianca: Amazing. So what was the real shining light? I know that you did a lot of work, you looked for a lot of different mentors, and you’ve been really studious. To everyone listening, Suzanne’s a smart cookie – but not only that, you were just really brave. You always took advantage of every opportunity to show up and be coached and take on the lessons and ask for help – and you were vulnerable when most other people would still keep the fraud mask up. What do you think really helped you have the tipping balance?
The kids don’t do what you tell them to do, they do what they see you doing.
Suzanne: Definitely being a mum myself, I’ve said that, because I wanted to model for my children that whatever they’re doing is okay. Like if they want to follow a pursuit that interest them, I want to have them 110 percent instead of just saying, Oh, there’s no point going into singing because so many people make it” or, There’s no point doing art because that doesn’t pay the bills.” I wanted to have the back for them. And then I realized that I couldn’t really model that because I didn’t have my back myself.
Everyone knows that the kids don’t do what you tell them to do, they do what they see you doing. And the biggest thing for that is that both my children has iron deficiency. No known cause but they have to take vitamins for that. And it was a struggle everyday to get them to take their vitamins. I felt like I had to hold them down.
When I started taking vitamins because it was just healthy, I think, they would have their hand out going, “Where’s mine?” Because they’re following what I do.
A lot of women, especially mums, when we try and do personal development or go to courses, we feel guilty because we think the kids are at home or the kids are at care whatever. And we’re not fully present in what we’re doing because we feel bad. But if we’re modelling for them that it’s okay for mums to go and do this stuff… like it’s okay for mums to have days out with their friends or go to the movies or work on themselves.
I want my kids to say that their mum loves them but also has passions outside of them.
Growing up, all I saw was my mum. I love my mum – but she didn’t have friends and she didn’t have anything. She had a job and she was a mum. I didn’t see her as a person. And I want my kids to say that their mum loves them but also has passions outside of them.
Bianca: That’s really amazing. And so, the woman that you are today, let’s go back to that person that you were when you’re at your deepest, darkest moments, thinking like this weight… you’ve already lost the weight a couple of times, you’ve lost the 35 kilos before and then come back on, you think about yourself at your darkest, heaviest moments, what would that woman see in you today? What would she notice?
Suzanne: She would just be like, “She’s done it.” And that’s a great reminder when I have dark times. When you set out to do something and you get there and you think everything is going to be grand, you still struggle, like you’ll still have moments of self-doubt. But I just imagine her and I kind of go back into her – and the things that I’ve done is the things that she set out to do, like having lost the weight, being able to do things instead of always just being on the sidelines and feeling like a witness instead of a participant. Yeah, she would just be stoked.
Bianca: And the beautiful videos I see you share of you jumping on the slide with the kids and doing all these active days, that stuff there I feel like so many mothers hold themselves back and be that participant waiting on the sidelines of life and not wanting to join because they think… Just even things like dimensions. Like maybe this chair won’t fit me, maybe the slide won’t hold me, all those things… It’s very inspirational. It all seems worth it when you can share those moments with your kids.
I hardly had any pictures of myself with my kids because I was too embarrassed.
Suzanne: And also, so many mothers, myself too, we’re always the ones taking the photos, we’re not in them. And when the kids grow up — and hopefully I won’t have for a long time — but eventually they’ll lose us, they don’t have their parents, they don’t want to look back at pictures of their birthday party and just see them. They want to see us. They want to see their parents. They want to see us all together, not just “here’s me and my brother” or “here’s me and my sister” again, again, again. “But what did mum look like?”
They don’t care what size we are or what terrible ‘80s or ‘90s or whatever era clothes we had on, they just want to see everybody, not just themselves. I hardly had any pictures of myself with my kids because I was too embarrassed – and now it’s like every opportunity. I know it’s easy to say it on the other side because I have released all the weight – but still, I think it’s really important to have everyone in the photo and not just pictures of them.
Bianca: That’s just huge. And I think so many women just feel immense shame. They can’t see the beautiful moments with their family. It’s like everything else, all fine, all fine, all fine, then they see themselves on a photo and then it’s like down deep into shame. And so, I think that really brings us to the advice that you can give from your business about Health Without Shame, so let’s really dive in to these 3 myths that are holding women back. But if they can overcome them, the same kind of results are awaiting them. So here’s the first one.
Suzanne: The first big myth is the “I’ll be happy when…” myth. For me it was, “When I’ve lost the weight.” But then it can transfer into…. You’ve lost the weight, so “When I’ve made the money” or, “When I’ve got the house”or, “When the kids are at school.”Like you’re always putting it off. And I think the underlying truth there is that you need to embrace being comfortable being uncomfortable.
Because everything comes at a cost. If you look at somebody who’s achieved something that you’re setting out to do and you look at their Facebook, you usually only see the highlight reel like the success photos and this is great. And I’m guilty of it myself. I don’t often post pictures of myself all sweaty because I worked out or the fifteenth time I got up for my kids in the night and my eyes are like this or like taking… I’ve got a nice backdrop, so you can’t see the absolute trash heap that’s my house.
The truth is, everything sucks some of the time.
We think that one day everything’s going to be perfect. The truth is, everything sucks some of the time, but it’s just kind of embracing that “Are you willing to be uncomfortable? Are you willing to realize that there’s never going to be a perfect time?” The stars aren’t all going to align. It’s just going to be a struggle sometimes, and it’s going to be good sometimes – but why can’t you have it now? Why do you have to wait until you’ve achieved all these other things? Because then you’ll never get there.
Bianca: Yeah, that’s so amazing. I love that. Everything sucks some of the times. Because I think that so many people… it’s like a woman feels overwhelmed or overworked or unappreciated or joyless, and then it all gets funneled into. “It’s because I’m fat. And if I wasn’t fat then I wouldn’t experience all those things.”
Another one of my clients, Jilly who created an epic… I think she’s lost like 55 kilos to date now. Super rich CrossFitter now. And she said the very first time that she took her top off on the beach to wear a two-piece, she was really surprised that not everybody stopped and looked at her, like the world stopped. And then when she weighed the largest she ever weighed as an adult, in her mind, she thought that the heavens are going to open up and [angels singing]. She’s like, “Oh, it’s just no, it’s just no every other day. I’m just lighter.”
Suzanne: I can totally relate to that.
Bianca: The really underlying truth then is about not waiting. So how does somebody not wait then? How does somebody implement that advice now?
All the magic hasn’t happened if you haven’t actually taken action on it.
Suzanne: I’m a big fan of journaling – but it depends what people like to do: journalling or voice recording, thinking about it in the shower, whatever. What is it that you actually want? What do you think that you’ll have when you’ve lost the weight or made the money or got the husband? What is that end result thing that you don’t have now, and how can you start to give that to yourself incrementally? What’s the smallest step that you could take towards that?
Because a lot of us think that when we lose weight then this thing will magically happen. And like you said with your client, you get on the scales and you’ve lost the weight and you’re like, “But I’m still me.” All the magic hasn’t happened if you haven’t actually taken action on it.
It’s kind of a roundabout way. Like if someone comes to you and says, “Where’s the closest corner shop?” You’re going to say, “It’s there.” You’re not going to say, “Go to the river… and then like some orienteering course, make it all the way around here.”
So if this is the thing that you want and this is where you are, what are the little things that you can do to get there? Rather than go, “Well, I can’t have it because I’m fat or poor or single or whatever” and then deciding to try.
Whatever you focus on the most, you attract.
Bianca: Absolutely. I feel like it’s just that loop of the neural pathway of going, “I’d love to do that but I can’t because I’m fat” or, “I have to lose weight.” Then the more that you keep on thinking that belief, the more of a barrier it becomes, the more entrenched you think, “Well, therefore I am fat.” And then whatever you focus on the most you attract.
Suzanne: And then you don’t even think to ask the obvious questions. One of the ones for me, I like to exercise in the evenings but I don’t have anyone to look after my kids. So I asked my gym a few weeks ago, “Hey, have you ever thought about night creche?” So they put out a member survey thing and they’re trialling it starting tonight. I’m like, yeah, I’m going to yoga!!!
Sometimes we don’t even ask because we just think, “Oh, there’s no way. I’m too this.” But if you actually explore what it is that you want and then ask the questions… if you never ask it’s always going to be no.
Bianca: Of course, that’s brilliant! That’s so good. What an amazing example of the universe helping you when you actually say what it is that you want. Because so many women find that a really hard question to answer… What do you want? They make you face what it is that you don’t want. They just want less of what they don’t want, which just brings in more of what they don’t want. So bring us the second myth.
Suzanne: The second one is buying the right program will get you the results. So you go from program to program or course to course and you’re buying all these things, and you just haven’t found the right one yet so that’s why you haven’t had any results.
But the truth is that buying anything is not actually… like transformation doesn’t come from information like reading a book or going to a lecture or whatever. It comes from actually implementing it.
Before I met you and Kylie, I purchased a lot of courses and gone long being that person who’s out in the back and too scared to raise my hand or whatever. And I finally got to a point where I was like, I’ve invested financially but I haven’t invested physically. I’m here but I’m not here, like actually showing up. It’s confronting to put your hand up and lay all the crap that you’ve got going on, especially if it’s a group situation and there’s people that you don’t know, like randomly crying in front of strangers – but listening to others, it’s powerful. It can be – but it’s not the same as it’s your own stuff. Because if you actually stand up and say, “This is the issue that I’m having,” and you get that feedback on your stuff… because you can’t see your stuff because you’re like a fish, you’re in the water. And someone else comes along and points something out to you, and it’s like, it was so obvious but you couldn’t see it because it was like right in front of you.
If you don’t shine the light into the dark corners of your own stuff then you’re not going to clear out all the daft and evil stuff.
So, actually, when you do these things, instead of being the lurker in the Facebook group or the person who listens to recordings, turn up and say, “Hey, this is my stuff…” Or if you can’t turn up because of the timing or whatever, send the question in. Most of these things, people will have some sort of Q&A facility. Send it in and say, “This is it…” and then actually listen to it. Because if you don’t, as you said at the beginning, shine the light into the dark corners of your own stuff then you’re not going to clear out all the daft and evil stuff.
Bianca: Absolutely. I think sometimes it’s funny… In the past I’ve had women say, “What’s your success rate?”
And I thought that’s such an odd question because it’s about the work that you implement. The women that do the work, their success is like infinite… it’s exponentially bigger than what they thought they were going to have in the first place. But fronting up with a question like that, what is your success rate, it’s like hey, hey, hey, this is not a thing that you walk into a shop and go, “Hey, can I have that tummy, can I have those shoulders, can I have those legs?” because it’s all about what happens on the inside.
The body is just the last place that disordered thoughts show up on or disordered energy or emotions. So when you can fix that, that’s when the projector screen changes.
You’ve been an amazing example of laying your stuff there – because I think also, having that experience of using NLP, I’ve been quite fascinated with how quickly you can overcome your own stuff. Actually, something that’s been a problem for you all your life and you never thought to think of it differently can be changed in an instant. And I would hazard a guess that, Suzanne, once you’ve had a few experiences of seeing how quickly you can get over your own stuff, did that make it easier for you to come forward and put yourself out there?
When you’re conscious of it, it loses all its power and it’s not that hidden guilty thing you beat yourself up for.
Suzanne: Yeah, totally. The realization that it’s not a quick fix or it’s not one size fits all or it’s not magic, like if you do an NLP process, it gives you another option. The other option is still there – but you just don’t have to choose them. Like sometimes people think “Oh, is it magic?” or, “Is it like hypnotism?” or whatever.
If you have a behaviour that you’re willing to overcome like snacking when the kids are in bed, that’s still an option, it’s still there every time. It doesn’t mean that I’m broken or I’m a failure because it’s still there – but I just don’t have to listen to it. I can listen to or engage in another options that we’ve created.
So, for me, if I still have cravings, if I still think about food then I’m not fixed yet. And in NLP it allowed me to say that I’m not broken – and that’s an option there. It’s less and less but it still happens – and it’s still sometimes my go-to and sometimes I still engage with it.
Sometimes I still go like, “Hmmm okay, a chocolate bar is going to fix this.” I know it’s not – but I’m conscious of it and it doesn’t need to be like a whole family block, it can be a couple of squares. And I can actually enjoy them and taste them and go, “That was nice. Now go on the evening,” rather than feel sick because I’ve eaten too much, not really taste it because I’ve blown it straight from the packet.
You know when you get to that last piece and you’ve eaten it and you’re really irritated because you didn’t savor it? That was such a switch moment for me. It’s like, “Oh, I didn’t savor the last piece, what about the other 50 pieces?” So it’s giving you those options and opening them up and then realizing that you can still choose it. But when you’re conscious of it, it loses all its power and it’s not that hidden guilty thing you beat yourself up for. It’s just like, “Oh, well, next time I’ll choose differently.”
Bianca: That’s beautiful. I think so many people are going to resonate with that and get lots from that. And so, give us your third myth.
Suzanne: This is the biggest one for me. It was like, “I’ve failed so many times before, why would this time be any different?” Especially for life long dieters or yo-yo dieters – and especially when you are going to say to your partner or your parents or your family or your sister or your bestie, “Oh, I’m going to try this thing,” you get the eye roll and “Oh, here she goes again. How long is this going to last?” Like you kinda get yourself down before you even start.
So the truth behind that “I failed so many times before” – and this is from NLP as well – is “There is no failure, there’s only feedback. Like I’ve mentioned before, I’ve lost large amounts of weight. In the past I’ve lost 40 odd kilos and 60 kilos – and both times I gained it back… with interest.
There is no failure, there’s only feedback.
When I was lighter, I hated my old self, I would tear up the photos or I would look at them and I’d be like, “Oh, she was so fat.” I really hated on the fat. And the difference now and the difference this time is that I don’t love my previous self any less. Everything I’ve done, everything that was a failure, every diet I tried that didn’t work, every decision I made or things I invested in that ended up being a bust, they all came together to create the me who I am now. And the me who I am now, people will be like,“Oh, you must feel all this sort of stuff.” I’m grateful – but I’m really grateful for me who was fat, because I was the one who kept trying, who kept showing up, who never quit.
Everyone’s like, “Oh, people who are fat, they’ve got no motivation” or, “They’ve got no willpower,” or whatever. But it was me who was fat who did the stuff to create the me who’s now. Me who’s now is just maintaining it, so I didn’t do it. And it makes me kind of sound like I’ve got multiple personalities going on – but all roads have led to here .It’s not just here I am and then me before is big x’s and all this sort of stuff.
And I do share the before and after photos – but not so I can hate myself or like hold my stomach and say, “Oh, how bad I was.” But that’s all-inclusive, and anything that you’ve done in the past, you can sit there and go, “Oh, this was a mistake,” and just twirl in that and never get anywhere… or you can go, “Okay, I learnt another way that doesn’t work so I’ll try something else – and I will just keep trying and I’ll keep doing that.”
Because as soon as you’re like, “This is the only way,” you’re back to the on-again off-again, like you’re on the wagon. And then you eat a couple of chips and you’re off the wagon, and then you’re on and off and, “Oh my god!” and the next thing you’ve gained weight back.
That rejection of your past self is also what will create the on-again off-again bandwagon
Bianca: And that’s so critical to having that perpetual on-again off-again wagon, is you see so many of those success stories when the person talks about how miserable and how horrible and how much they hated themselves way back then, and it’s kind of like, “And I’m so fantastic and fabulous now.” But I actually think that that kind of rejection of your past self is also what will create the on-again off-again bandwagon.
Suzanne: Yeah, because you get so scared, and it’s going to tip the scales, and then you’re like, “Oh I can’t eat that because I might gain weight” or, “I have to keep exercising even though I’m exhausted or I’m injured because I don’t want to gain weight,” and it becomes all about maintaining. Whereas if you embrace that some days you go to the gym and some days you eat cupcakes and it’s just life, you can be that regular person that you always aspired to be instead of having to do more to maintain it and then create this unsustainable path again.
Bianca: That’s huge. And so, the people that you work with… this is interesting too because I think a lot of people just think that “Oh, okay, so if I want to lose a bunch of weight then I’ll go see Suzanne, because Suzanne will help me lose a bunch of weight.” But you approach this from a really different unique perspective that most people probably wouldn’t get first up. So can you tell us a little bit more about your philosophy on how you help people?
Suzanne: Basically, I like to help people to stop waiting for the weight. The people who come to me most of the time will come to me and the very first thing they’ll say, “I want to weigh this” or “This is my dream size” or something. I’m not actually really that interested in… not that I’m not interested in them, not in a nasty way, but what I am interested in is getting to what they truly want, like what do they think that that size or that weight or that number will bring them, and how I can help them to start to make the little step towards that now. Because when you let go of the how and you let go of the scale and the numbers and the diets and all that stuff and actually focus in on what you think you’ll have when you get there and start to give that to yourself, the weight just kind of takes a backseat.
A lot of people don’t think about what they actually want.
And it sounds really counterintuitive or impossible or magical or whatever – but if you have dreams of things that you want to do but you’re putting them off, or you won’t even look at them… like a lot of people will be like, “Well, I don’t want…” They’d be like, “I don’t want this, I don’t want that, I don’t want this.” Okay, cool. We’ve got all the things you don’t want. What do you actually want? A lot of people don’t think about that.
And it’s kind of like, if you call a taxi, you don’t hop on a taxi and go, “Don’t take me to the airport.” That’s freaking useless. You tell the taxi where you want to go and they take you there. And it’s the same for whatever you want to do with your life or your job or with your kids or a holiday or whatever.
Instead of saying, “Well, I’m too scared to say that one day I’m going to go to Hawaii because I don’t know how to afford it,” okay, cool, you want to go to Hawaii. All right. You have a passport, can you apply for a leave? Like all the little things. Because so many times, especially if you do like a set program… I remember the ones I was given before. They give you a menu, so you take it home and you read it and you’re like, “Okay, cool,” you buy all the stuff. You know how to cook it? I remember getting quinoa and I burnt it. My house smelled like it for a month. And then there was another one and it was like — I didn’t read the recipe beforehand — marinate for 8 hours. I was like, “Oh, man, I couldn’t eat that.”
I help people actually take the steps to get to where they want to go.
So I help people actually do that stuff that they think will magically happen because “I’ve lost the weight” and take the steps to get to where they want to go. Do you know how to menu plan or grocery shop or cook stuff? If it’s a dream holiday… Have you looked into what you need to go there? Like actually investigate what they want and start to take steps towards it, rather than just starve or exercise and lose the weight and then think about stuff.
Bianca: Yeah, and I think you really have those tools that can help people uncover those limiting subconscious beliefs that are putting the barriers into the small things. The reason you don’t put those small efforts into practice is because you’re thinking “Whatever I do it’s never enough” or, Whatever I try it’s always a failure” or, “I don’t deserve to go to Hawaii.” So they are the recurring thoughts that you actually are qualified to help people to get through.
That is huge. That’s really helping people live their ideal life now and get off this rollercoaster of constantly thinking about what program they can buy to give them what it is that their hearts desire is.
Suzanne: Or what some flashed up instagram photo has shown.
Bianca: I know, the highlight reel of somebody’s life. So if somebody wants to find out more about how to work with you, how can they do that?
Suzanne: My Facebook page is Health Without Shame. You can pop on over there and send me a message. My email address is firstname.lastname@example.org. I’m very happy to get messages, questions. I do Facebook lives and stuff and answer questions, so if people got questions… yeah, happy to answer anything like that.
Bianca: Awesome. Just as a part of your own professional development, you went through the My Mind Coach 6-month NLP certification, which is our program, Legacy Leaders. Is there any recommendations you’d have for other people who were thinking about investing into learning the structures of their mind?
You could use it in coaching, you could use it just for yourself, you could use it in any number of businesses.
Suzanne: Definitely. Yeah, because you could use it in coaching, you could use it just for yourself, like the tools to help yourself, you could use it in any number of businesses. A lot of the people that I trained with weren’t necessarily coaches. They used it in other areas. It’s really inclusive and it’s very well-structured – and there’s heaps of support so you can practice and you can get feedback as you’re learning the process, which is great. Intense in a good way.
Bianca: That’s awesome. It’s been such a joy to see your expansion as you’ve gone on this journey of discovering your dream life and not waiting for the weight too. You working as a part of our team, all of us helping each other and helping the people that come into our tribe. It’s knowing that we got you in our corner that we can refer people and we can help people have this amazing experience of creating their best body and their ideal life, that’s a great thing that we value.
So thanks a lot for showing up, and thanks a lot for being so generous with your knowledge in every step of the way. I definitely recommend that if you want to know how to lose weight without dieting, and instead just get over yourself and stop worrying about the weight and stop weighting about the weight, I definitely recommend you check out Suzanne.
Suzanne: Thanks Bianca!
Bianca: You’re welcome.
“Having ongoing training is essential for our team and our business. It’s important to look after the people that look after others. Kylie has the experience, professionalism and knowledge to engage with our team and help them understand about human behaviour and why people do what they do. In the wellness and health industry it’s a different sales and service delivery and it’s imperative to keep on top of these understandings to perform at our best to help others. We couldn’t recommend Kylie high enough.”
“I have worked with Kylie over many years. She has helped me as a Business Mindset Coach, as a motivational speaker for my gym clients at both Vision Personal Training & now at Flow Athletic. I bring her in to train my Personal Training teams in mindset, communication and how to coach our clients better and excel in our own personal mastery as fitness leaders. At my recent Fitness Business event, my gym owner colleagues were blown away by her talk, saying she is the best speaker they have ever seen. After every event we always get rave reviews about her talks and training. I highly recommend Kylie’s work as a coach & speaker.”
“I finished the Spiritual Awakening Course yesterday and I found it truly amazing. An incredible next step after our coach training. I feel so much more enlightened and “opened-up”. It has really opened my eyes to the power of the universe and the energy flowing in each of us. I loved it – thank you.
I am feeling so lucky at the moment. So many things are just falling into my lap. I visualise it and set my intention to manifest it and it comes. Things such as getting more clients, needing help to put my business online, not knowing how to get known in my local community etc. Courses / insights / clients have just fallen into my lap at the right time.”
Of course I am still learning and growing, but the course has really helped. Thank you”
“Before I met Kylie I was feeling very lost working full time in law in Sydney CBD. I’ve known my whole life that I was here to help people, but I just didn’t know exactly how. So when I found Kylie, it just was really fitting that it was going to help me ground my magic. I started the coach training and had an amazing time. It was beautiful to go through the process of having a mentor that had that spiritual element and that holistic element, as well as the very grounded science-based knowledge as well. So that really helped me to conjure that for myself.
I started my business before I even finished the course. I just started putting myself out there. And now I’ve gotten it to a point where I’ve got really grounded solid message, and two years later am running a multi-6 figure coaching business as a leading pioneer in my niche, helping clients all over the world.”
“Before I signed up with Kylie I had a busy PT business… I was exhausted and on the brink of burnout and no matter how hard I tried, I had reached a ceiling in my income that I just couldn’t break through. After completing my NLP Coaching certification, I found my true voice and the energy of my business has been completely transformed. I’ve created an online program, up-levelled my entire business and totally smashed my previous income goals. I make decisions more confidently and I can help my clients create change in their life even faster. On a personal level, NLP gave me the inner strength to leave a toxic situation and rebuild myself which lead to me discovering the love of my life! Today I am living the life that I’ve always wanted – but just hadn’t been able to put into words. I have never been this happy or this powerful. If you want to manifest the life of your dreams I would not hesitate to reach out for help from Kylie.”
Before attaining my NLP Coach certification, I was an online trainer who was getting excellent results for “some” of my clients. I used a mixture of experience, intuition and an exhausting “helicopter-parent” style of accountability coaching. It was like the 20% of the clients who weren’t getting good results took up 80% of my effort, and it was draining my passion for my business. Completing my Certification with Kylie has been the best decision of my career. The very next month after finishing I created a new program and made $30,000 in new sales. I now have a repeatable system to coach my clients and I can get them both immediate AND long-lasting change, sometimes in less than 40 minutes. In the past 12 months, I have doubled my freedom and fulfilment in my business I have created raving clients who snap up my offers.”
I signed up with Kylie because I knew that to have a bigger effect as a PT I needed to improve my understanding of how the mind works. Through NLP Coach training I now have great coaching techniques that break through all sorts of negative behaviour patterns. I’ve noticed big improvements in all areas of my life including my own personal finances and my client retention. This has allowed me new freedom to work on scaling my business and helping even more people with less one on one time from myself. The coach training has given me the ability to fully unlock the power of your mindset and those that don’t have this skill are only tapping into a small amount of their potential.
This morning I had a kick-ass coaching session with Kylie Ryan. We’ve been working together for a couple of months, and she’s the perfect person to help me integrate the rapid transformations I go through regularly. I’d been getting this vision of my fully mature creative and entrepreneurial self. His discipline, commitment, and command of wealth was 10x what mine is now, but it wasn’t really about money for him. Our coaching sessions usually roll with me saying, “Kylie, I want to be, do, and have EVERYTHING” and Kylie helping me find the archetypes and parts that aren’t integrated and bringing them together. MAGICK HAPPENS EVERY TIME.