Body shaming is insidious. It shows up as judgement of ourselves and others that can damage us in many ways, and prevent us from having happy, healthy bodies, and most importantly living life!
Body shaming actually causes the very problem it’s trying to solve. When you feel shamed by yourself or others, you are even more likely to overeat to comfort yourself and skip exercise because you don’t feel like you fit in at the gym. Body shame might “motivate” you to do a crazy restrictive diet, where you might lose a few kilos for a week of two, but damage your metabolism and chances of lasting slimness and health.
When you practice making choices out of love for your body, you are more likely to choose things that make your body feel good. Body shaming and diets go hand in hand leading you to misery-ville. Instead think about nourishing your body for life. Ask yourself when making a choice: does this truly nourish me? Am I loving my body with this choice?
Shame is one of the most damaging emotions for your self-esteem. Your self-shaming inner critic eats away at your sense of self-worth, not only does it feel really bad it prevents you from creating success in your life in every area. Low self-esteem leads to poverty thinking, dysfunctional relationships, and health problems, and more.
We all have things in our lives that we might like to be different. But instead of beating yourself up about the past, talk to yourself like you were your own best friend. Be as compassionate with yourself as you would your bestie. Compassion allows for you to be fully human. Instead of focusing on your flaws, focus on your wins and strengths. Keep a success journal to remind you of all your wins, achievements and successes.
I have heard my clients say over and over how they didn’t go to the beach with their kids, missed their school reunion, or even a friend’s wedding because they “had nothing to wear”. This has little to do with your wardrobe, and a lot to do with your sense of self. When you shame yourself it doesn’t matter what you wear it will look terrible. Self-shaming will prevent you from enjoying incredible moments of love and connection that make your life wonderful.
Practice being shame-less! Brazenly wear that swimsuit you like, even if you have cellulite. Go to the reunion, even if you’re a few kilos heavier. Wear something that is comfortable and a nice necklace, get your hair done and go have fun. Focus on what your body enables you to experience, instead of how it looks.
Body-shame can ruin your experience of pregnancy, one of the most magical times in a woman’s life. When you fear how your body will change, or think that you’ll never get your figure back, it can prevent you even falling pregnant, as your unconscious fears create stress that block your fertility. When you do fall pregnant, body-fear and self-shaming for the few extra hormonal kilos can stop you from enjoying creating a relationship with your beautiful growing baby. Then once you have a baby, body shame can be the worst of all putting extra pressure to bounce back to bikini shape, causing you to stress out, in the very vulnerable time when you need to be resting and bonding with your baby.
Having a baby is a miracle. Women’s bodies have been doing this for millions of years. It’s just modern pressure to look a certain way while that is happening that messes up your experience. Focus on the miracle you want to create. Trust your body, LOVE it and give it what it needs, and you will experience the miracle. Gentle movement and nourishing foods will help you regain your shape in good time. Don’t rush it. Allow your body to do what it needs to, and focus on the miracle.
Body shame actually makes you really self centred. You’re focused on yourself and all the flaws you perceive in yourself. When your attention is on yourself, you don’t notice or connect with your loved ones.
Stop thinking about yourself. Instead shift your attention to your loved ones. Look them in the eyes. Listen to what they are saying, imagine opening your heart to them, and complimenting them. Practice seeing the beauty in others – inside and out and it will help you to find the beauty in yourself.
“Having ongoing training is essential for our team and our business. It’s important to look after the people that look after others. Kylie has the experience, professionalism and knowledge to engage with our team and help them understand about human behaviour and why people do what they do. In the wellness and health industry it’s a different sales and service delivery and it’s imperative to keep on top of these understandings to perform at our best to help others. We couldn’t recommend Kylie high enough.”
I have worked with Kylie over many years. She has helped me as a Business Mindset Coach, as a motivational speaker for clients when I had my gyms with Vision and more recently at Flow Athletic. I bring her in to train my Personal Training teams in mindset, communication and how to coach our clients better and excel in our own personal mastery.
I highly recommend her work.