Each day you have approximately 80,000 thoughts! That’s a lot, right? Incredibly 90% of those thoughts will be the same thoughts you had yesterday, and the day before, and the day before. The things you think day after day become beliefs, some beliefs empower us, some do not.
If you’re struggling with your weight, or your motivation to lose weight or eat healthily, I can guarantee you’ll have some variation of these “fat” beliefs in your head:
1. I’m so fat.
You would think that saying to yourself “I’m fat” would motivate you to eat right and exercise, wouldn’t you? Wrong!
When you say to yourself “I’m fat”, even if you are, it begins a negative spiral that can cause you to eat more comfort foods, skip workouts and feel bad about yourself. (See my article on Emotional Eating) Start praising yourself for your great qualities, or saying “I’m getting slimmer every day”. Be encouraging to yourself like you would be to a child.
2. I don’t have the time to exercise
Ahh, No time. Of course. I know you’re a busy woman or a working Mum with work, washing, school lunches, dinners, house to clean, drive here, drive there, So much to do! …You do have a LOT to do. Do you think that people who exercise regularly have more time? Or less to do? Everyone has 24 hours in a day, how you divide that time up and what you spend your time on depends on your priorities. Is exercise important to you? Is it important enough to carve 3-6 hours out of your week to do it, each and every week? What if you got sick and couldn’t do all of the other things on the list? Doing exercise is like investing in your own energy and health for later in life. Make a few deposits and notice how much better you feel.
3. I’m not good enough / I’m not worthy
When you get down past “I don’t have the time or money to exercise / eat well” often there is an underlying belief that “I’m not worthy / not good enough” to spend that time / money on myself. So many kids form this belief when they are very little over some event that they will often forget. However this belief can shape a persons entire life, preventing them from doing, being and having things that they truly want and could be good at. If you have one of these beliefs, ask yourself, Does this empower me? You are worthy and good enough to do whatever your heart desires. Believe it!
4. My kids / other people / come first.
This belief is a double edged sword. Of course if you’re a mum the first moment you had your baby, your life changed. This is a beautiful belief, because it allows you to be an amazing and thoughtful Mum. However, this belief can be disempowering if being a selfless mum stops you from also being a person. Have you let your own identity and passions slip? When looking after your own health and happiness comes last, then you need to address this.
5. I can’t say no
Similar to putting your kids first, the belief “I can’t say no”, can keep you overweight because you are compelled to do everything for everyone else before looking after yourself. Give yourself permission to say no from time to time. When things don’t suit you or put you out, you are allowed to say no.
6. I’m just big-boned / curvy / voluptuous
This belief is a negative belief disguised as a positive one. It depends on what it means to you. Often women will say this to themselves as an excuse to not even try to become healthier. I used to think I was big boned, until I really decided to get slim, lost 25 kgs and discovered that my ‘bones’ had nothing to do with it.
7. I have no self-control / I’m weak / I’ve blown it!
If you berate yourself after eating a ‘naughty’ food with these thoughts, you are right in the emotional eating cycle. These thoughts will often come with feelings of guilt, shame, embarrassment & self-anger. All those negative feelings do is cause you to spiral down and eat more. One packet of biscuits does not mean you have blown it, or you have no self-control. It is an example of a time when you chose not to exercise your self-control. Notice how realising you have a choice gives you back your power? You could choose to use it next time.
If you find that you have some of these thoughts or beliefs, ask yourself. Do these empower me? Do they help me to be the best Mum and woman I can be? If not, what could I choose to think instead?
Article by Kylie Sexton of My Mind Coach. Kylie offers private coaching programs and a Slim Sexy Club to help you to let go of your fattening thoughts. For a free mp3 and report sign up for the newsletter.
“Having ongoing training is essential for our team and our business. It’s important to look after the people that look after others. Kylie has the experience, professionalism and knowledge to engage with our team and help them understand about human behaviour and why people do what they do. In the wellness and health industry it’s a different sales and service delivery and it’s imperative to keep on top of these understandings to perform at our best to help others. We couldn’t recommend Kylie high enough.”
I have worked with Kylie over many years. She has helped me as a Business Mindset Coach, as a motivational speaker for clients when I had my gyms with Vision and more recently at Flow Athletic. I bring her in to train my Personal Training teams in mindset, communication and how to coach our clients better and excel in our own personal mastery.
I highly recommend her work.