8 steps to power into the positive, when the going gets tough.
Q: How do you stay positive when you keep having negative outcomes? Especially when you have struggled for a really long time.
This was a reader question posed to me and I’m sure the lady who asked it is not alone in feeling like this, so here’s my answer for everyone…
Sometimes it really does feel like you’ve been given a raw deal and no matter how hard you try, you keep getting stung by life… Here’s my steps to help you power up, and shift out of the negativity…
Step 1 – Acknowledge the shittyness.
First step to shifting your mindset is to acknowledge what IS. Just become aware. Notice that emotion of tiredness, sadness, helplessness or despair. It’s okay that you’re feeling like that, that alerts you to the fact that what you’re doing now, isn’t working.
Step 2 – Take responsibility.
Next is to realise that no matter what’s going on in your life right now, and how you currently judge it to be good or bad, you had a hand in creating it to be that way. Your past thoughts, choices and actions have lead to where you are now. If you want different results in the future you need to create different thoughts, actions and choices now. Even if you have gone through trauma or some unexpected tragedy that is obviously not your fault, you have choice in how you perceive that event and how you decide to act in your life subsequently. Take responsibility for yourself and you can reclaim your power over your life.
Step 3 – Find the gain.
Once you fully take responsibility for your part in creating your life as it is, then you need to look for the benefits. What have you got out of staying this way? What has been the secondary gain of staying in this situation that you perceive as negative? Are you getting sympathy? Welfare? Friends and relatives paying more attention to you or your situation? If you are continuing to get “negative” outcomes you ARE getting something out of it. Look hard, and be honest with yourself about what you’re getting out of it.
Step 4 – Assess the pattern.
Then you may realise that the secondary gain is not worth continuing to get these outcomes. You could find a way to get those outcomes some other way without all the pain of continuing with the problem.
Step 5 – Find gratitude.
Remember what you can be grateful for even now. One of the immutable truths of the universe is that there is always a balance within nature, this means that there is a balance of support and challenge in your life. There are things that are going well or supporting you, even though you might not be focusing on them or even noticing them. What are all the things that ARE going well in your life? There will always be something that you are doing well or where you are getting support or love.
Step 6 – Choose something different.
Choose to consciously change your thoughts in the moment. Create an affirmation that inspires you. It can be as simple as “I can!” Remember a time when you were feeling in control and empowered in some area of your life, and notice and remember what you were doing, thinking, feeling that led to you being empowered in that area.
Step 7 – Practice managing your state.
The success of your life is largely influenced by how well you can mange your state to perform optimally and make the best of any situation. You can shift your mindset instantly simply by changing your body, pulling your shoulders back, breathing deeply and smiling, if you can stretch your legs and arms out and recline like a “big boss”. This will raise your testosterone (power hormone) and lower your cortisol (stress hormone) and give you more of a feeling of empowerment in the moment. Stay in this pose for at least 2 minutes and then think over your problems.
Step 8 – Use gratitude to give and create.
Keep coming back to gratitude. Focus on all the good things in your life. To shift your mindset to the positive requires an attitude of gratitude. Whenever you feel down, ask yourself: “What can I be grateful for right now?” Keep asking till you FEEL the gratitude in your body…. When you do feel it, ask yourself, what can I do now to contribute to making my life and the life of those I care about better? Begin to focus your mind on what you want to create and contribute with your life. This will help you to find success because it automatically assumes that you have something worth giving. You DO!! When you focus on a larger cause than yourself, and allow yourself to be powered by love and a desire to help and give, you will find the Universe conspires to assist you in magical ways.
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