How to Process Emotions with Acceptance.
There’s good in every emotion. Accept, appreciate and keep breathing…
Do you have permission to feel all your emotions? Or, do you suppress your emotions and bottle them up?
Often we have learned taboos around some emotions that stop them from expressing fully. Imagine a child very upset being told to stop crying by an adult. This common event could possibly create a rule for that child that being sad or expressing emotion is not allowed. This can create a dangerous situation where the emotions are suppressed in the body and stored, instead of being learned from and released. Just like pushing a balloon underwater, it takes a lot of energy to keep those emotions suppressed, and can result in a heavy feeling.
All emotions have a function, purpose and a learning for us. If we give ourselves permission to really feel whatever it is we feel, even if we can’t explain why, the emotion will be able to do what it’s meant to and provide us with a learning and then release.
Repeat after me:
- Emotions are just emotions.
- All emotions have some positive intent or lesson for me.
- I give myself permission to fully feel and accept all of my emotions.
Here are some usual lessons in typical ‘negative’ emotions:
Some lessons from Anger
Anger is a primal response that helps us to protect our personal boundaries. It is the alert system that some boundary or rule has been broken or transgressed. Anger can help you to stand up for yourself and be strong in challenging situations.
Some lessons from Sadness
Sadness is a letting go emotion, it helps us to grieve for things we have lost. Sometimes what you have lost is not tangible or even able to be put into words, but it is a loss nonetheless. Sadness helps us to grieve, and deepens our appreciation of what we do have.
Some lessons from Fear
Fear helps to heighten our senses, to be aware of potential danger and to keep the body safe. The main response of fear is to get away from danger, roll up in a ball and stay safe. The challenge with fear is that it can sometimes be over-active and prevent action. When your fear response activates, Ask yourself: Is this a real threat to my safety? What’s the worst that could happen? Can I mitigate or prevent that risk? Or, is the risk worth taking for the benefit?
Some lessons from Guilt
Guilt helps us to realise how our actions have impacted on others, and let’s us know we have broken one of the social or moral laws that we hold as important.
How to let your emotions pass through you.
When you allow yourself to fully feel your emotions and listen to them with acceptance and appreciation, knowing that they have a positive intent or lesson for you, then they will pass much more easily than if your try to suppress them and pretend they are not there.
- Go to a safe place where you will not be disturbed. I find remote places in nature very useful for this. (If you do go outdoors, bring a warm jacket and a snack, you may be a while.)
- Give yourself permission to cry, get angry, rageful, hurt, or whatever emotion comes. It is okay. Say it out loud: “I give myself permission to feel this fully and completely.”
- Witness the emotion come to you from a distant, watchful part of your mind, as if you were watching your body from high above.
- Accept this emotion fully into your body, even if you can’t explain it, or why you are feeling it (you don’t need to know). Sometimes the emotion will be very intense because it is a cumulative emotion of many past experiences snowballed together.
- Let yourself cry, scream, roll up in a ball, talk gibberish, yell at an imaginary person, whatever you need to do fully express it. Be childlike in your expression.
- Let it keep coming until you are empty. However long it takes.
- After, sit quietly, observe your breathing. Count it in and out. Let your body settle. You will go into a trancelike calm, meditative state. This is when your learnings will come, allow that sense of peaceful emptiness to fill you up.
- Allow yourself to connect with your inner wisdom, God, the Universe, your own Divinity, you Higher Self — whatever you want to call it.
- Allow that inner wisdom to shine a light on the situation and give you new insights to take back into your life.
- Keep breathing until you feel calm and complete again.
- Stretch, move your body and go back to your life, with your new insights held in your heart.
Join the Conversation
What lessons have you learned from your emotions?
What lessons could you learn from emotions from your past if you allowed yourself a quiet time and place to feel them fully?
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