If you edit, or hold back your truth, you’re likely to experience more cravings. Sound unrelated? It’s not.
Voice is a huge part of who I am, but even I only recently realised the link between your voice, speaking your truth and what you put in your mouth.
When I had my kids, I happily chose to stop singing professionally. But I still love it and am making more time for it as my kids get older, just for the joy of it!
But in order to create time for your joy, you need to say no to people demanding your time. And you need to be HONEST with yourself about what you really want, and what brings you joy.
So often women give up their creativity and whatever brings them joy because they have responsibilities, and women are often taught to put their needs last. Things you do just for the joy of it are often the first things to go when demands pile up.
Do you feel like there’s a part of your creativity missing?
Have you put some of yourself or your dreams on hold so that you can be responsible?
You might find, like so many of our women who have put their dreams on hold so they can look after their loved ones, that you also struggle with cravings.
Cravings are just ONE way that we squash down our truth, appease the part of us that needs some pleasure, and numb ourselves out.
We can help you to conquer your cravings, unleash shining health and body confidence, so you can speak your truth, let your heart SING and get on with making your dreams a reality…
You don’t have to give up your creativity and joy and neither do I. And what’s more it’s good for your health and your happiness. You’re worth it.
I challenge you to do something purely for yourself and your creativity this week that brings you joy!
Maybe just a little white lie or keeping inside what you really feel – and just kind of moderating and editing yourself so that you fit in, so that you don’t hurt someone’s feelings, so that things just run more smoothly in your life.
If you ever find yourself lying, holding back your truth, feeling like you’re unheard or that a voice within you is unspoken and you also struggle with cravings, then listen up, I have a long transmission to share with you guys.
It’s Kylie Ryan here with my partner Bianca Aiono. We help high-performing women to master their relationship with their bodies so that they can overcome emotional eating, unleash their true body confidence and get on with the more important things in life.
It showed up for me really big time this year in my personal experience with the biggest self-sabotage that I’ve probably ever done.
As some of you who’ve been following me for a while know, in addition to being a coach I’m also a singer. And since I’ve had my kids, I haven’t been singing professionally really at all. But before I had my kids, I was singing professionally in the evenings and I was coaching through the day, so I had these two things going on
Right before I got married, I went across to Macau with a really great opportunity to sing with a great band and had this awesome three months of singing and just having some really great times with music and singing each time. But while I was over there, I was also super lonely, I wasn’t with my partner – we were about to get married – and I had this kind of weird experience of like living in this little bubble in a casino, singing.
I remember now, I made this promise to myself that I would do my coaching myself and build that up until a point where I could get back to singing. And I have not got back to singing. I’ve been parenting my children, I have been having a wonderful time teaching and training and coaching, which I absolutely adore, and adore the transformations that we get to make with women every single day.
But I’ve always felt like, since I kind of put my singer in a box and went, “Okay, now it’s time to be a mum, now it’s time to be a businesswoman, now it’s time to be a coach and trainer and be a respectable part of society, not a nightclub singer anymore,” then I felt like there was a big part of me that just kind of withered away.
And so, in order pre-frame and get ready for this video, I just sung a song and did a live video on a different page, which I’ll share to this page afterwards, just to kind of open up my voice and start to reclaim that part of myself.
What I found is that when you squash down a part of your truth, you will end up self-sabotaging yourself in ways that you don’t even realize that you’re doing.
You will end up cravings for foods and you’ll end up overeating.
Because it’s almost like that urge, that voice, that truth that wants to come out, you’re squashing it down with wine, squashing it down with food – and trying to keep yourself almost at a level of numbness and just using that instant gratification, that external pleasure, to squash down the internal pain of feeling like you’re not telling your truth.
You are lying anytime you’re not telling your truth.
And anytime you’re not telling your truth, in effect you are lying. You’re lying to yourself, you’re lying to other people by not being honest by what’s going on.
It probably flies under the radar and we don’t even notice it.
When someone asks you to do something and you say yes and you don’t really want to do it, or you’re feeling resentful about some task that you need to do at work, or you’re overburdening yourself and you really don’t want to do that, you want to make some time for yourself and constantly putting yourself last, then you’re lying to other people by saying yes when you really mean to say no.
And so, everyone you swallow down that no, then it is causes you to want to stuff other things down on top of it so that it doesn’t come up and speak the truth. And when you can’t truly say no to someone and you feel like you have to lie, moderate, or edit yourself in order to fit in, then you can’t ever truly say yes to an experience either.
So you find that you will be holding yourself back. There might be something wonderful going on in your life, maybe your kids are playing in the pool and they’re wanting you to come and play with them – but you can’t actually fully engage in that interaction, in that moment, because there’s so much that’s just kind of feeling resentful and blergh and kind of stuck inside that you can’t actually just allow yourself to say an honest yes and be there with them, to actually really live that experience with them.
And so I’ve been thinking about this idea of the voiceless of our society.
In our communities, even with all of the wonderful progress that we’ve made as human civilization, there are still parts of our society that feel voiceless, that feel unheard, this idea of the subaltern from the post colonial studies where the displaced people didn’t have any voice.
And anytime that you don’t have a voice, you can’t speak your truth, then you will find that other people sometimes unwittingly and sometimes maliciously will take advantage of that.
Oftentimes people feel like – we find this with women that we work with especially- they’ll feel that they’re backed into a corner, that they’re kind of compelled to do something that they don’t really want to do or people are taking advantage of them, when in fact it’s just that they’re not speaking their truth.
But no one would be taking advantage of them if they simply said no. By not being able to say no or ask yourself or others for what you truly want, then it makes it very difficult to get it.
And so, you find then that you have this kind of simmering resentment, unhappiness, annoyance, frustration, often at people that you love the most – your parents, your husband or wife, your kids, your brothers or sisters. Often the people that we love the most are the ones that we edit ourselves around the most, and so we end up with this kind of simmering resentments.
Yes, eating is a part of the celebration of family and we come together and break bread together, so there is a wonderful association there. But if you find that you’re constantly eating or you can’t stop eating or you eat things that you don’t otherwise choose to eat, then you might be finding that you’re eating to squash down a truth that you really want to say.
We have this amazing opportunity with social media to publish, speak our truth, in a way that is broadcasting, in a way that can connect with other people that might feel the same way.
Whereas in the past there were huge barriers to broadcasting, to speaking your truth, now there are no barriers. Like if you have a phone and the internet, you can be a publisher, you can speak your truth, you can speak with your voice.
What I’ve realized over the past few years is that it’s really important to bring all of yourself into your work. And so this year, my year for 2019 is going to be integration of my singing voice into my coaching and healing practice.
And I know sound healing is a thing, so I’m really excited about where that takes me – and I’m going to just start by singing a bit more in this page and allowing my voice to come through not just as a teacher and a healer and a coach but also as a singer, because that’s an important part of my self.
I’m really excited to share that with you guys and share your truth, to model for you speaking your truth even when it’s uncomfortable.
It’s very different singing to a camera than singing to a big group of people like I’m used to doing. I’m used to singing on stages, in front of people that are having fun, and so singing in front of a camera is actually quite nerve-wracking. So I’m going to be putting myself out there to sing for you guys on this page.
And if you like it, let me know. I think it’s important to allow yourself to speak your truth and allow your creativity to come through.
She talks about this craving and this overweightness, this heaviness that comes, is a part of this unbirth creative impulses. That there are creative impulses within you, parts within you that want to create, that want to do things, that want to make things, that want to step out there and be an artist or write something or create something in some way.
But we squash it down with this inner critic voice that says, “Oh no you can’t do that” , “Oh, you’re too old to do that” or “You’re too young to do that” or “You’re too inexperienced to do that” or “So many other people are already doing that so there’s no room for you.”
You might find that it will kind of feel like an unbirth that is within you that’s making you feel like you’re taking up space and that you’re heavy with this unbirth creativity. Or it might feel like you’re just losing your zest for life, you’re losing your spark, you’re losing your fire.
I’ve certainly noticed that now that my kids are a little bit older and I’m kind of out of the woods of extreme newborn young child parenting, now my daughter is at school and my little boy is about to go back to preschool soon, that there’s a bit more space in my life and my inner singer is going, “Hello! It’s time to come out now. You’ve had me in a box for too long.”
And I noticed that when I was not noticing that, I was just kind of feeling, “Ugh I don’t really feel like I have anything original to say, I don’t really have anything new to say.” That inner critic was getting in the way of me being able to show up and speak my truth for you guys and show up as a teacher, show up as mentor.
And that was because I was keeping a part of my creativity stifled.
It’s probably been the biggest self-sabotage that I’ve done, is this idea that once I get my business cranking and we’re getting x amount of dollars then I can go back and start being a singer again, then I can start writing an album or whatever – and this constant way that we put the goals out there in the future. I didn’t even notice that I was doing it until I had this realization just at the start of this year.
So for me it’s about bringing my voice back in and bringing my creativity back in and showing you what that looks like.
I would love to encourage you too to speak your truth to allow your creative impulses to shine through. Even if it doesn’t make sense, even if your inner critic is going, you’re this, you’re that, there’s too many other people, or trying to stop you in some way – because your inner critic is just trying to protect you by stopping you from failing.
But as all of my NLP gurus who are online with me know: There is no failure, there is only feedback. And if it feels good for you to do it then do it. Right?
So I’m going to start doing more things that feel good even if they step outside of the traditional teacher archetype and allow my nightclub singer sassiness to come back.
If you find yourself lying, holding back your truth, afraid to speak up – and you’re also struggling with cravings or you feel like you don’t have that body confidence to really stand out there and shine and speak your truth with your message – then I would love you to join Bianca and I in our Conquer Your Cravings free webinar that we’re running this week, it starts today.
It helps you to diagnose your diet mindset, because often this diet mindset is a part of what really fuels this inner critic and keeps us from doing the things that we really want to do. Because it’s constantly putting milestones in front of what our real truth is.
Like if I was just really wanting to just be a singer then I could’ve just been a singer years ago – but I also want to be a coach and healer, and so my truth is actually to integrate both.
But if you want to write a book or start a business or shed some weight and be a role model for your kids but you’re putting all these barriers in front of yourself: “Oh, I’ve got to do this before I can do that” “Oh, I’ve got do do this before I can do that” “Oh, you’ve got to lose weight or you’ve got to get this certification” “You’ve got to get this before you can do that.”
It’s like, when? Constantly putting off your true goals.
My true goal is to channel grace through my voice to help heal the heart of humanity as a teacher, as a singer, as a coach, in all sorts of different ways, in all the beautiful ways that my voice can come through.
And so I challenge you to ask yourself: What’s your purpose? Is there something that’s stopping you from actually taking action on that day? And are you also struggling with cravings?
Because if you find that you’re craving and you’re also stopping yourself from speaking your truth, then we have some free training that will really help you. All you need to do to get a hold of it is to jump on the link below and you will be able to join our free webinar.
I’ll pop the link below so you can join in nice and easy – and I’m really excited. Yay! I’m really excited to share my voice with you guys. I’m excited to integrate music back into my teaching and coaching.
I hope you like it. If it’s not your thing, feel free to leave because I’m going to keep doing it regardless. Lots of love. And I’ll speak to you soon. Bye!
“Having ongoing training is essential for our team and our business. It’s important to look after the people that look after others. Kylie has the experience, professionalism and knowledge to engage with our team and help them understand about human behaviour and why people do what they do. In the wellness and health industry it’s a different sales and service delivery and it’s imperative to keep on top of these understandings to perform at our best to help others. We couldn’t recommend Kylie high enough.”
I have worked with Kylie over many years. She has helped me as a Business Mindset Coach, as a motivational speaker for clients when I had my gyms with Vision and more recently at Flow Athletic. I bring her in to train my Personal Training teams in mindset, communication and how to coach our clients better and excel in our own personal mastery.
I highly recommend her work.