Hey there! Kylie Ryan here, revealing the truths of a Weightless Woman, and today I want to talk to you about why people don’t change, why people stay stuck, even when they’re really trying, trying, trying to change, why they do things over and over again and fail at them. No matter how good the program, person, training, thing is that this person is trying to do, they can’t seem to make it work. And so why are some people so resistant to change? Why are they so resistant to change, even when other people seem to be getting amazing results with said program, training, diet, exercise routine, whatever it is?
There’s a number of reasons why that’s the case, and I’m gonna talk about one of them today, and that’s when you are magnetized by your past. So, what do I mean by that? Is that we only live in this moment now. This is the only moment that we actually exist in, but in this now moment, we carry with us memories of past now moments, which we call the past, and our worries or dreams or hopes about our future now moments, which we call our future.
When we are resistant to change, we are more attached to the past (wherever that is for you) than we are to the future. And so when we are more attached to the past than the future then, in this now moment, we’re replaying memories, thoughts, ideas, stories, identities from the past, excuses, justifications, labeling, judging, blaming, from the past, and emotions. Because we’re running that in this now moment, running those stories in our heads, replaying those movies in our heads of the past now moments when something didn’t happen, someone let us down, when we let ourselves down, when someone judged us or blamed us or did something, something happened in the past, and so we’re replaying that memory in the now moment, which prevents us from actually being present to the reality that we’re in right now.
And so what happens is when we do that, we’re magnetizing the past, we’re taking our now moment energy and we’re pushing it into the past. So it’s like we’re more real in the past than we are right now, you’re living more in the past than you are right now. And what happens when that happens is that when you’re trying to make a change now, you’re trying to change your behavior, change your attitude, change what you’re doing and the results that you’re getting, then you don’t have enough energy to sustain the change. And the reason that you don’t have enough energy to sustain the change is because all of your energy is tied up in the past. And so you don’t have enough energy to even create a vision of the future or to make any of the changes now, because you are magnetized by those emotions, stories, beliefs, and behaviors, those past behavior patterns that you used to run. People that change maybe for a few days or for a few weeks but then find themselves going back to their old cycles have this going on.
So you need to ask yourself: “Am I more concerned with the past than this moment now? Am I more concerned with what happened in the past and how things went down in the past than I am right now?” And that’s because your thoughts, every thought that you think, the words that you’re thinking as you listen to me say this are electromagnetic. What are thoughts? Thoughts are electromagnetic impulses that live inside your brain and then send neurochemical and hormonal little messengers through your body. And so when you are tied up thinking the thoughts and believing the stories of the past, then you are sending electromagnetic signals of the past through your now body. So it’s almost like the past behaviors, the past stories are magnetizing you backwards.
One of my amazing mentors and friends, Ivonne Delaflor, posted a quote the other day that said, “Your past is killing your future.” Your past is killing your future, and I want you to think about that because it is absolutely true if you are staying stuck and you can’t make the changes that you want. And so, what do we do about that? How do we stop our past killing our future? Some people think that change takes a long time or change needs to be repeated and all of those things. And that’s true. Habits need to be repeated for them to become unconsciously competent, for you to be able to do them easily and effortlessly. But, change actually happens in one moment, in one moment now. It’s this now moment.
And so I wanna ask you… Are you willing to make a change now, in this moment? Because if you are willing and you desire to make a change in this now moment, then you need to be prepared to let your past go, to let it lie, let it sleep, let it go, so that you can actually create a new now moment, you can create yourself anew in this present moment, because this is the only moment that exists. And if you’re an adult, then regardless of what did or did not happen to you, whatever you did or did not experience in your life, whoever let you down, whether it was you or someone else, it is gone. That moment is gone. It does not exist anymore except as a figment of your imagination. It does not exist anymore. Whatever happened in the past is gone, and so you have the amazing, brilliant opportunity to move forward and to create yourself anew every moment. Every breath is a moment that you can create yourself anew and move forward into your future.
How you draw your energy back from the past is by being vigilant with your mind, being vigilant and taking control of your thoughts. Instead of letting your ego mind run away with you like a crazed psycho monkey, then you take control of it and you say, “No, I’m not going to think those stories of the past. I am going to deliberately change my thoughts.” And that does take effort. Of course, there are plenty of ways to make that easier and simpler and get support with that with coaching and hypnosis and NLP and all of these other amazing therapies of change and behavior change techniques that exist, but there’s also a level of conscious vigilance and conscious co-creation that you need to take response-ability for and say, “I’m not going to allow myself. I’m not going to wallow in the past. I’m not gonna let myself off the hook by replaying those stories of the past.” And so when those stories pop up in your mind, when you do start to think of them — because they will be habituated — then you catch yourself, you observe yourself and go, “Oh, I’m doing it. I’m playing those stories of the past.”
Whenever you start to feel frustrated, disappointed, sad, regretful, lonely, upset, then you are likely playing stories of the past. What you need to do is stop and actually observe yourself and go, “Oh, I’m playing the stories of the past. Wow, that’s me. I’m catching myself in the moment.” And the first step is that awareness. And then you can deliberately change the stories with many different methods.
This moment now, you could start journaling out what you’re feeling right now, you could start journaling out your vision for the future. Instead of projecting your energy in the past, keep it in the future and envision what you’d like your future now moment to be. Spend your energy on the now and visioning what you would like your future to be. Because the more you spend that energy visioning what your future will be, the more you magnetize that future and that future will be drawn to you. You will start to create the behaviors and the neurochemicals of the future, you will start to become the future.
And that’s how you make a change even when you have been resistant to change. So, it is up to you and you can make a change. And so if you catch yourself going, “Oh, that’s not for me,” or “Oh, I can’t do it,” that is a story of the past, my friend, and I lovingly tell you that it is absolutely not true and you do have the power to change right now. Lots of love and I will see you soon. Bye.
“Having ongoing training is essential for our team and our business. It’s important to look after the people that look after others. Kylie has the experience, professionalism and knowledge to engage with our team and help them understand about human behaviour and why people do what they do. In the wellness and health industry it’s a different sales and service delivery and it’s imperative to keep on top of these understandings to perform at our best to help others. We couldn’t recommend Kylie high enough.”
I have worked with Kylie over many years. She has helped me as a Business Mindset Coach, as a motivational speaker for clients when I had my gyms with Vision and more recently at Flow Athletic. I bring her in to train my Personal Training teams in mindset, communication and how to coach our clients better and excel in our own personal mastery.
I highly recommend her work.