Are your emotions running your life?

Are your emotions running your life?

Do you ever get angry, moody and passive aggressive, when someone asks you if you’re ok, you say: “I’m fine” while inside you’re fuming about someone or something.

Do you ever get sad and blue and it ruins your whole day. Everything sucks?

Do you ever feel upset about anything at all and then make decisions based simply on that feeling?

Are your emotions running your life, and making your decisions for you?

Emotions are not facts.

I hate to break it to you, but your emotions are not facts. It’s true. Emotions are just a feedback loop from the stimulus of the outside word; what you see, hear, feel, touch, taste, smell, through your mind body system, and back again.

Your emotions will fluctuate to the degree that there is a discrepancy between the stimulus (the sensory input from the world) and your beliefs about it. When you get what you expect from the world, there’s no fluctuation in your emotions. You’re cool as a cucumber. Calm. Peaceful. Happy.

When you expect, judge or believe that something “should” be different than what you get, you may experience anger, frustration, sadness, etc.

When you expect that you “should” be different than what you expect of yourself then you might experience, jealousy, frustration, hopelessness. If by some freak of luck and lotto; the world vastly outmatches your expectations, you might experience wild elation and insane happiness, OR guilt, shame and unworthiness.

In all cases there is a mismatch between whats going on inside your head; your mental movies and inner dialogue, and what’s going on outside your head; in the world.

Back to the bigger picture.

Often you are feeling an emotion because you are zoomed in on some tiny aspect of a thing, comparing it, judging it, and failing to see the bigger picture. The bigger truth of the Universe is that there is always a divine balance of positive and negative; support and challenge; “Hooray!” and “Doh!” When you zoom out and bring yourself back to this truth, it takes the sting out of emotional roller-coaster. Everyones got their own shit to deal with, and everyone’s got their sweet luck and talents.

 

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So what do we do with our emotions?

Any emotion that you are feeling in a moment is genuine, and needs to be listened to, but it may not be telling you the truth. Instead of thinking of an emotion like an exclamation mark or a full stop; Angry! Sad –  A fact that tells you to take action – I’m angry therefore he’s an asshole. Think of it like a question mark. An opportunity to dig deeper inside yourself to find out what’s going on. Anger? Sadness? Hmm. I wonder what’s going on? I wonder what I’m believing about this? I wonder what they’re believing? I wonder what their motivation was with that action?

Key question:
What am I believing or expecting about this that is causing this emotion?

When you layer a healthy does of curiosity over any emotion it immediately diffuses it. You take the sting out and you can get down to business, discovering what’s really going on. Emotions are an invitation for growth, for you to look within, to step up. To take ownership over your own reality. Then of course what you discover is an invitation to take a deeper step inward and either make an executive decision whether that belief / judgement/ comparison is serving your highest interests or not…You get to decide.

Choose your emotions. Choose your adventure.

Remember choose your own adventure books? Loved those. Your whole life is a choose your own adventure. No matter what happens, you always have the ultimate freedom to decide what an event means to you. There’s a gap between what happens to you and what you choose to think and feel about it. Did you read that? What you CHOOSE to think and feel. It’s a choice. You can choose to feel miserable and shitty for no reason at all. Just like you can choose to feel happy and grateful for no reason at all. It’s your choice.   So instead of letting your emotions make the decisions, get back in the drivers seat yourself and run your own life.

Comments (1)

  1. I needed this Kylie! I’m choosing to think and feel the wrong thing at the moment! REFRAME baby. You’re incredible. xx

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