Breaking the Motivation “Switch Myth”
There is a pervasive myth in personal development that says that there is a moment when you “flick the switch” and everything changes. One of my students asked me this question recently, and it really mirrors one that is within the collective consciousness:
“What was going through your head that moment the switch flicked, and you stepped into your path of no more BS?”
If you’re searching for the key to your “flick the switch” moment, you’re barking up the wrong tree. Don’t get me wrong, there are many times in my life where coaching & NLP has absolutely shifted my mindset so dramatically it was like a switch was flicked in my head, but seeking out a moment like that is not going to get you the results that you want.
Why?
The problem that is stopping you from achieving the results you want in life is hidden inside the question. It is All-or-Nothing thinking. You’re looking for a moment when everything suddenly works, or becomes perfect, and there’s no more BS, or negative thinking.
In reality, nothing is ever 100% perfect, it is only ever a work-in-progress.
There is always going to be some negative thinking and chatter in your head, because there is always a balance of negative and positive in every experience in life. Always a balance of good and bad. What can shift your entire life is your focus. In that experience, are you choosing to focus on the good or the bad? This is an ONGOING choice, from moment to moment, if you want to change your life, and stop the BS from dictating your behaviours then you need to shift your focus and take action towards what you want, even when it is uncomfortable.
While you can have lots of significant moments that catalyse change, lasting change is a continual process. It is a reaffirmation day after day that this is what I want; Yes, this is what I want. Yes, this. Day after day, like a marriage, you must work to create that success and keep on being your best self.
Now if this sounds like hard work, it is.
Of course it takes work, but it is a hell of a lot better than the alternative. Sure there are days when I would rather eat peanut butter toast and watch a movie instead of going to the gym. But most times when I feel like that I go to the gym anyway, because I do not rely on my feelings to dictate my choices. My values dictate my choices. I value being healthy, so I go to the gym whether I feel like it or not. Sometimes I just do some yoga and a very light workout, but I go anyway, because I am committed to that habit. I know if I keep showing up day after day, I will be healthy.
Just like in my parenting, there are times when I want to check out and get some time off from being a parent, but this is the path I have chosen and I value being a conscious parent, so I am committed and caring, even when it is hard. Even when I have to lock myself in the bathroom for 5 minutes of deep breathing to get it together.
I know that my feelings and thoughts are not who I am. BS thoughts come and go, uncomfortable feelings pass.
But my values are rocks that guide my actions, and by my actions I build my life.
Do not wait for a magical unicorn moment of the “switch flick” to happen, instead get up and change it yourself, and keep flicking it every day. As you get more practiced at focusing on the action steps and moving forward, it will become easier and habitual, until one day you will barely remember your old BS-filled self.
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