For yourself, I mean. In your own head, do you heckle from the back row, just waiting for that trip or fumble to dig the knife in, or do you support, encourage, and celebrate?
Often we speak to ourselves inside the privacy of our own brains, like we would NEVER talk to anyone else in a million years. Have a listen to your own internal chatter as you go about your day; Is it mostly pulling you up, or bringing you down?
The thing is, regardless of where and when this nasty habit started, you’re in charge of it. You get to choose whether it continues. You are the boss!
If you have an inner heckler, there are two simple ways to deal with it.
Go ahead and say this to it. “My dearest internal heckler, hello! I realise that you have been inside my head for a while now, and I’m sure you have some kind of positive intention for me, otherwise you wouldn’t still be here. Maybe it was to protect me from failing, or to keep me safe, so thanks for that. The thing is, this heckling and nastiness actually makes me feel bloody awful and doesn’t help me to do, be or feel my best. It’s actually stopping me from achieving the success and happiness I want in life. So, can you please, from this day forward vow to speak to me with a kind, calm voice, encouraging me, supporting me, celebrating every small win with me? I would really like that. Thanks!”
You may not realise this fully yet, but you are in charge of your own thoughts. So if you have a nasty voice, that won’t listen to reason (step 1) you don’t have to listen to it. You can go ahead and make the voice so ridiculous it makes you laugh. Use your imagination and get creative to “Kablammo!” it away comic book style.
– Imagine that something really ridiculous is the face of the voice.
– Change the pitch, turn it up so it’s really high and squeaky, or so low that it’s just a rumble.
– Turn the speed up, so it’s so fast you can barely understand it.
– Then, after a while, just go ahead and turn the volume right down to zero.
Remember you are in charge. You can keep a voice of reason, caution or consideration and still speak to yourself nicely. Talk to yourself like you are a trusted, loved, precious friend, and you’ll notice a difference.
How do you speak to yourself?
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Before attaining my NLP Coach certification, I was an online trainer who was getting excellent results for “some” of my clients. I used a mixture of experience, intuition and an exhausting “helicopter-parent” style of accountability coaching. It was like the 20% of the clients who weren’t getting good results took up 80% of my effort, and it was draining my passion for my business. This meant my income was never predictable, I worked way too many hours, and I was constantly putting out spot-fires for energy-vampire clients.
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