How to stop surviving and start thriving – Kylie Burton Case Study

Discover how Kylie Burton overcame her wine habit and began nurturing her body.

KYLIE BURTON CASE STUDY

1. Tell me a little bit about why you came to us initially?

I was really searching for how to make a difference in my life. I was basically on a pattern of just surviving, and I think I let go of a lot of dreams. I always called it surviving and not thriving. I had a choice to be made. My health had gotten so bad that I actually had to choose whether I wanted to thrive, and that’s a hard choice sometimes.

I had already made that choice that I needed something, and it’s always serendipitous how these things come along. I think I Googled Kylie Ryan, looking for a pair of shoes. Googled Kylie Ryan that’s a shoe manufacturer, found this program, and I thought, “Wow, that’s meant to be.”

2. What’s changed in your life since we’ve been working together and you’ve been moving through the program?

I guess a lot of that negative self-talk that I had and probably a lot of shame that I felt, that it was my fault that I was there, and all of that sort of thing. Those emotions have gone.

Even though I haven’t lost the weight that I want to lose, I think dealing with that emotional side was the most important thing, because I actually now feel like I am thriving and connected, and I feel really hopeful. It’s just now a matter of bringing that out into the physical, but I feel like I’m thriving each day.

3. What’s changed in your eating patterns and in your eating habits?

Probably the number one is I’m able to stop drinking alcohol. I do think this is really a little bit of a hidden problem for a lot and lot of women. I’m thinking I’ve gone from sort of half a bottle to a bottle over the years, and usually two bottles of wine a night, which was significant in terms of calories, but also how you’re feeling, the energy levels, all that sort of thing.

I haven’t had a drink for 24 days and feeling really good, but more importantly I feel really empowered, because my relationship with alcohol has changed and I realized that I had numbed myself for a long time with alcohol, and I would say food as well. So you drink the alcohol and you feel bad, you numb more with food, and it becomes a binge eating after the binge drinking sort of thing.

I feel more in control of making small changes, and I have changed. I’m looking for more healthier food. That’s not to say that I sort of go, “Right, hang on. There’s a bit much sugars creeping in there. What emotions are you eating?” But I feel I have the tools to actually not beat myself up or shame myself because of that, but actually deal with that and go, “Okay, that was a choice that you made today. How can you do that differently next time?” And some of the NLP tools have really helped that.

4. There’s a few different areas that you’ve been working in to really make this change happen. Did you believe that this was possible when you first came into our program?

I guess I was hopeful. Did I believe it in my bones like I do now? No. I became aware that it wasn’t just a shameful beat myself up because I’ve eaten or drunk. It was a recognition of why I was doing that. And what I found, and it’s only been recently that I’ve stopped, is a lot of the things that I thought were there and that I was numbing myself against, which I think is what we do with food and alcohol, the emotions and what I thought I was numbing I no longer needed to numb.

Interestingly enough, there seemed to be this vicious cycle and a pattern of “Hang on, this is what you do when you’re feeling this way.” And to cut that, really, I was surprised. And I think it is because I’ve literally spent 12 months undoing the emotional, the negative mental limitations, I guess. I do think that without undoing those, I was never going to change the physical, and I think that’s the journey that I’ve started on now.

The mental limitations are gone. I’m doing two gym sessions a week. I feel good for that, I don’t feel embarrassed. I guess I’m finding it easier to be a little bit more vulnerable because I’m not ashamed of myself as well. So there’s a huge connection between the emotional side and how we live our lives physically.

5. What has really worked for you in your journey?

I think coming back to these, probably the big keys for me was a feeling of not being worthy. I know I’m not Robinson Crusoe, but that very deeply held feeling that you’re not worthy enough. And there is this shame, there is this embarrassment. I think removing those, and the tools to continually be aware that they’re happening, listen to the self-talk, and then as you would say, “Thank you, but go to the back of the bus. You’re not serving me at the moment.”

6. What have you learnt about yourself in your transformation?

Probably the biggest one is that I’m okay, that there is a reason for all of this. You develop relationships with food and alcohol that are no one’s fault, they just are.

I probably felt fairly hopeless in the beginning. You know, you said, did I believe it could happen? And I now see that I am lovable and I have courage and resilience. And some days you’re a bit tired and being courageous is hard, and other days it’s just a matter of actually meeting yourself where you are and accepting some acceptance of that and some love.

7. What other qualities have you noticed within yourself that you had never noticed before?

I have got some stamina and some guts. I guess I probably had recognized things in my professional life that I felt I couldn’t apply in my private life, because we put on the mask and we go out and we are a certain thing, and I felt very confident in my professional life, whereas personally you sort of think, “Oh, there’s all the negative self-talk.”

Again, I think it’s that courage and resilience, and some guts and stamina too, that you look at these people on TV and you go, “They’ve got all this stamina and guts and put themselves through pain, and I can’t do that,” whereas in fact it’s not about the big jumps, it’s just the little things.

And I think that the tools that you’ve worked with me on releasing those feelings of unworthiness and the shame and the embarrassment, they allow our natural qualities to… We have these qualities. If we’re doing them in our work life, they’re there, but sometimes we stop believing in ourselves, so I think that’s really what allows them to surface too.

8. Tell me what you loved about the online program?

I loved the coaching sessions monthly. Initially, the workbooks were really informative. I learnt stuff from them. Look, it supported me to actually focus on to give the time to me initially, and to start saying, “No, this is part of your balance.” It doesn’t matter if you’re a bit busy, you fit it in, you put it in your diary. I think having your approach, the acceptance and the love and support, and having a cheer squad there was really critical for me as well.

9. Would you recommend our service to others, our program, and our my coaching to other people?

I would, absolutely. I think that it is so supportive. You need a constant reminder. We don’t need to do this by ourselves. And as you know, Christine, we were one of the first ones there, but what I found was as I opened myself up and as I decided that this was worthwhile and that I needed to do this, it attracts a lot into your life, so you end up having a cheer squad with you that is… You’ve just got to do it.

10. How is your life different to how it was before? What areas of your life have really flourished?

I feel really joyful. I think my relationship with my kids is better. It’s closer. I think what I’ve realized, which isn’t there yet but it’s getting better, is that I want to go and now start doing more things, finding the things that I love and getting out and doing more of that. It’s this journey of thinking now and finding new things that are exciting and manageable. Being patient with myself, meeting myself where I am, but being proud of that, I think.

11. What have been the benefits of letting go of the alcohol and becoming alcohol-free now?

My sleep, my health. I think that will take around three months to really… I’m gradually noticing the difference in my sleep, in the level of energy that I have. So I can push myself a bit harder at training.

I get up earlier so that I have more time in the day. I’m not sitting down at night. I’m doing little jobs. I wasn’t beating myself up, I knew I had to deal with it. We’ve done a lot of work on being worthy, but I don’t have to worry about… That’s behind me, so now I can actually just move onto the next thing.

So I think the benefits of changing that have been it’s a huge central issue that is out of the way, and it helps me to look at my feet and take the next step.

If you’ve been inspired by Kylie’s absolutely inspirational journey and would like to make a similar transformation in your life, apply for a coaching consultation here to find out how we can help you.