“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn
It’s time to get real about who you hang out with. It has been said that you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with: friends, work colleagues, family. I think to some extent this is true. It is a useful litmus test anyway. Take a piece of paper and write down the names of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Now have a think about these questions in relation to your 5 closest…
Your 5 closest friends will give you an indication of how you have been living your life up to now and the things that you value. You tend to “like” and be attracted to people who are like you in some way, people you have things in common with. If you want to make a change in your life, especially one as encompassing as shifting to healthier life habits, you may want to consider how your friends and family are affecting your change and choices.
The circle of concern includes everything you care about or spend time and energy thinking, or worrying about. There are many things in your circle of concern that you may be concerned about, over which you have no real control. Things like the weather, or war or the state of the ecosystem or planet. The circle of influence inside the circle of concern includes those things that you have control over and you can actively choose to act on and improve.
People who have a proactive focus spend their energy acting to improve those things within their influence, and as such their circle of influence grows because they are successful, positive, productive and inspiring. They inspire others and become leaders within their circle.
People who are reactive, tend to have a negative mindset because they are focussing on things that they have no control over, worrying and fretting. When you do this then your thinking and emotional state becomes more negative and your influence recedes because you are only reacting to outside influences, rather than your own vision, purpose and goals.
Do you spend time worrying and fretting about things you have no control over? Or do act and make choices based on taking responsibility for yourself and your own situation? Are your 5 closest friends proactive or reactive?
Your 5 closest friends influence you through rapport and modelling. They seed your mind with their ideas, thoughts and paradigms, as you do theirs. If they are really important to you, their seeds will hold more weight and be more likely to influence your own thoughts and behaviour.
Humans’ greatest skill is the ability to learn through modelling. When you see someone doing something your mirror neurons in your brain fire and you learn as if you yourself were doing that thing. So you have the ability to learn all the skills and habits you see your friends doing effortlessly!!!
If you want to effortlessly improve your life, I recommend surrounding yourself with people who have the kind of results you would like to have in your life, or at least are the next step along the way in some respect. Ensure that they are proactive people who work within their circle of influence. Limit your time with reactive people as much as possible, sometimes this is challenging, especially if they are family, then I would suggest creating stronger positive influences with other people to override that negativity.
The people you spend time with do not necessarily have to be living, friends of yours, or in your area either. I spend thousands of hours with my personal development, business and health mentors through reading their books, blogs and listening to their programs and CD’s.
Think of a person who inspires you, who has the results that you want in your own life and read their biography or research their career and habits. This is a proactive, positive and easy way of improving your influence and increasing your probability of success. If you want to become fit and healthy, start to spend time with fit and healthy people that you like. You will begin to unconsciously adopt their habits and strategies and become like them.
I’m not saying to completely ditch your overweight or reactive friends, just be aware of the effect they have on your thoughts and habits. They are not helping you to overcome your problem if they have the same problem. Maybe you could have a talk to them about each of you supporting the others health goals, and both getting some healthy friends or mentors to be inspired by and learn from…
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“Before I signed up with Kylie I had a busy PT business… I was exhausted and on the brink of burnout and no matter how hard I tried, I had reached a ceiling in my income that I just couldn’t break through. After completing my NLP Coaching certification, I found my true voice and the energy of my business has been completely transformed. I’ve created an online program, up-levelled my entire business and totally smashed my previous income goals. I make decisions more confidently and I can help my clients create change in their life even faster. On a personal level, NLP gave me the inner strength to leave a toxic situation and rebuild myself which lead to me discovering the love of my life! Today I am living the life that I’ve always wanted – but just hadn’t been able to put into words. I have never been this happy or this powerful. If you want to manifest the life of your dreams I would not hesitate to reach out for help from Kylie.”
Before attaining my NLP Coach certification, I was an online trainer who was getting excellent results for “some” of my clients. I used a mixture of experience, intuition and an exhausting “helicopter-parent” style of accountability coaching. It was like the 20% of the clients who weren’t getting good results took up 80% of my effort, and it was draining my passion for my business. Completing my Certification with Kylie has been the best decision of my career. The very next month after finishing I created a new program and made $30,000 in new sales. I now have a repeatable system to coach my clients and I can get them both immediate AND long-lasting change, sometimes in less than 40 minutes. In the past 12 months, I have doubled my freedom and fulfilment in my business I have created raving clients who snap up my offers.”
I signed up with Kylie because I knew that to have a bigger effect as a PT I needed to improve my understanding of how the mind works. Through NLP Coach training I now have great coaching techniques that break through all sorts of negative behaviour patterns. I’ve noticed big improvements in all areas of my life including my own personal finances and my client retention. This has allowed me new freedom to work on scaling my business and helping even more people with less one on one time from myself. The coach training has given me the ability to fully unlock the power of your mindset and those that don’t have this skill are only tapping into a small amount of their potential.
This morning I had a kick-ass coaching session with Kylie Ryan. We’ve been working together for a couple of months, and she’s the perfect person to help me integrate the rapid transformations I go through regularly. I’d been getting this vision of my fully mature creative and entrepreneurial self. His discipline, commitment, and command of wealth was 10x what mine is now, but it wasn’t really about money for him. Our coaching sessions usually roll with me saying, “Kylie, I want to be, do, and have EVERYTHING” and Kylie helping me find the archetypes and parts that aren’t integrated and bringing them together. MAGICK HAPPENS EVERY TIME.