I saw that amazing quote at a conference the other day.
Such a poetic way to describe this journey we’re going through as humans on this planet right now.
I have been giving guest Mindset talks all over the place helping people to find their centre in this storm.
Here’s an excerpt of one I recently did for the Young Professional Women of Australia with my colleague Kate. In this I talk about your locus of control and how we can shift our focus to have more control over our lives even in through challenges.
Kylie: We’ll go deeper into this idea of how you perceive the world affects the world that you live in. There’s something that you may be aware of, this idea of your locus of control.
A reactive focus is focused on all the things that you can’t control – thinking about the media, the economy, the virus and what’s happening in other countries, the borders, the regulations, the government rules and things, whether your family gets sick or not, how you can protect them, those types of things. More broadly speaking, things that you can’t control.
When you focus on all of those stuff which you can’t control, it feels like the world is crushing in on you, and you can get really sucked into the media and sucked into other people’s opinions and all of that. It really feels like you’re being crushed by the world and what’s going on.
The only thing that you have 100 percent control over are your thoughts, your feelings, your speech, and your behavior.
From the other perspective, you can focus on a proactive focus and really think about “What can I control here?”
The only thing that you have 100 percent control over are your thoughts, your feelings, your speech, and your behavior.
They’re the things you can control 100 percent. It’s not dependent on your partner, it’s not dependent on your boss, it’s not dependent on your co-workers. It’s “How do I frame this and what are the things that I’m in control of?” And it’s really the things that are internal to you, you have 100 percent control over.
When you focus on those and become in charge of those, you gain this proactive focus, and then your influence starts to expand.
When you master your own thoughts and feelings, it becomes less important what’s happening in the media, in the economy, in your job, or with your Aunt Meryl. It’s like it’s less important what all of those things are doing outside of you because you’ve got mastery over what’s happening inside of you.
That’s a really powerful skill to master for any job, for any situation, for any human, really. When you have that proactive control of yourself and how you’re filtering things and what you choose to allow in, that’s a really powerful skill to have.
So many of us get caught in the trap of constantly overloading ourselves with information.
Kate: Talk more about that Kylie, this piece around what you choose to allow in.
Kylie: There’s this kind of common view that you need to watch the news, you need to know what’s happening, you need to be aware of what’s going on. To a certain degree that’s true, and depending on your industry, obviously. You need to know what’s happening in your industry.
But I think so many of us get caught in the trap of constantly overloading ourselves with information. And so then we’re scrolling, we’re filling ourselves up with other people’s opinions and other people’s agendas and other people’s ideas.
There’s so much stuff going on in social media about conspiracy theories and anti-vaxxers. It doesn’t really matter right now where you sit on any of that stuff. That’s not relevant.
What’s relevant is the idea that there’s all of these opinions and everybody has an opinion. And the more dogmatic people are about their opinions, the more likely it is to try and pierce your mind or create a reaction in you.
It calls you into a pendulum when you’re getting stuck in other people’s opinions. You either agree with the person and what they’re saying, or you disagree. But when you get caught up in that, it’s taking your mental energy, it’s taking your intention, it’s taking your emotional focus, and so it’s getting you caught up in a drama that really you have no control over the outcome.
Getting caught up with someone else about their opinion or thinking about something that’s happening over in Chechnya or Africa or the UK… you have no control over that. I mean, if you’re a political correspondent or a journalist, maybe you do, but that’s a different thing.
Most of us have zero control or power over making a difference in those kinds of situations, and so we’re getting caught up in all of these things that we can’t control, and it makes us feel powerless. It drains our energy and it drains our productivity because you’re not producing anything. It drains us away.
Getting clear on what is a yes and what is a no for you is critical.
Someone was saying, “How do I stay focused and on point and productive when I’m at home?”
Getting clear on what is a yes and what is a no for you is critical. Just getting really clear on eliminating distractions in terms of media that you don’t need to see, scrolling that you don’t need to see, really culling those things that are not contributing to a positive resourceful state for you, is really a simple and empowering step to become proactive over what thoughts you’re allowing into your head.
Kate: I started to notice a pattern which was wake up, look at social media, get up, cup of tea, turn the TV on, ABC or CNN. And then all of a sudden the vortex is there and you spend two hours consuming content versus an alternative path which is get up, go for a walk, meditate while you’re on the walk, come back, cup of tea, read a little bit, and tune in to a little bit of media like an 8:00 New South Wales press conference. Cut that at 10 minutes and then I’m done and then start my day.
First thing, it was a choice, and I could choose to do either. When I was making that conscious choice that led me to the TV, I knew that that would be a vortex two hours. That was a conscious choice. But secondly, just really observing the impact that they had on everything that followed. So do that, then that’s next thing, that’s the next thing.
Kylie: Cascade, cascade, cascade, cascade.
Kate: Whereas, choose the other path and it’d be 12:00 before I’m even thinking about looking at the media and what the update is for the day and things like that.
The more that we can get focused on what’s going to produce things that are of value to the world, the more powerful we become.
Kylie: Exactly. I remember watching a video of Brendon Burchard. He’s another mindset and productivity trainer. He was saying that your inbox is other people’s agendas, and to spend the morning of your day focused on your big priorities of what you want to create, what you want to achieve, what’s going to help you move forward, so that the freshest energy of your day when you’re in best state is not at all focused on other people’s agendas but is focused on what you need to create, what you need to get done. So, getting your goals done first.
That’s really about prioritising your ability to be creative. And it really requires a lot of strength to be able to say no to those things, and even to say no to your own self that wants to go down a rabbit hole. It’s very appealing, it’s very addictive to go down that scrolling rabbit hole and to kind of get into this thing of looking about the media and feeling like what’s going on and all of this. It feels like you’re doing something but you’re not.
In order to be productive, you need to produce something. You need to produce something that you have at the end of it, like you produce a report, you produce a training. We’re producing something right now. We’re creating something that is of use, that is of value. The more that we can get focused on what is actually going to produce results, what’s going to produce things that are of value to the world, the more powerful we become.
“Having ongoing training is essential for our team and our business. It’s important to look after the people that look after others. Kylie has the experience, professionalism and knowledge to engage with our team and help them understand about human behaviour and why people do what they do. In the wellness and health industry it’s a different sales and service delivery and it’s imperative to keep on top of these understandings to perform at our best to help others. We couldn’t recommend Kylie high enough.”
“I have worked with Kylie over many years. She has helped me as a Business Mindset Coach, as a motivational speaker for my gym clients at both Vision Personal Training & now at Flow Athletic. I bring her in to train my Personal Training teams in mindset, communication and how to coach our clients better and excel in our own personal mastery as fitness leaders. At my recent Fitness Business event, my gym owner colleagues were blown away by her talk, saying she is the best speaker they have ever seen. After every event we always get rave reviews about her talks and training. I highly recommend Kylie’s work as a coach & speaker.”
“I finished the Spiritual Awakening Course yesterday and I found it truly amazing. An incredible next step after our coach training. I feel so much more enlightened and “opened-up”. It has really opened my eyes to the power of the universe and the energy flowing in each of us. I loved it – thank you.
I am feeling so lucky at the moment. So many things are just falling into my lap. I visualise it and set my intention to manifest it and it comes. Things such as getting more clients, needing help to put my business online, not knowing how to get known in my local community etc. Courses / insights / clients have just fallen into my lap at the right time.”
Of course I am still learning and growing, but the course has really helped. Thank you”
“Before I met Kylie I was feeling very lost working full time in law in Sydney CBD. I’ve known my whole life that I was here to help people, but I just didn’t know exactly how. So when I found Kylie, it just was really fitting that it was going to help me ground my magic. I started the coach training and had an amazing time. It was beautiful to go through the process of having a mentor that had that spiritual element and that holistic element, as well as the very grounded science-based knowledge as well. So that really helped me to conjure that for myself.
I started my business before I even finished the course. I just started putting myself out there. And now I’ve gotten it to a point where I’ve got really grounded solid message, and two years later am running a multi-6 figure coaching business as a leading pioneer in my niche, helping clients all over the world.”
“Before I signed up with Kylie I had a busy PT business… I was exhausted and on the brink of burnout and no matter how hard I tried, I had reached a ceiling in my income that I just couldn’t break through. After completing my NLP Coaching certification, I found my true voice and the energy of my business has been completely transformed. I’ve created an online program, up-levelled my entire business and totally smashed my previous income goals. I make decisions more confidently and I can help my clients create change in their life even faster. On a personal level, NLP gave me the inner strength to leave a toxic situation and rebuild myself which lead to me discovering the love of my life! Today I am living the life that I’ve always wanted – but just hadn’t been able to put into words. I have never been this happy or this powerful. If you want to manifest the life of your dreams I would not hesitate to reach out for help from Kylie.”
Before attaining my NLP Coach certification, I was an online trainer who was getting excellent results for “some” of my clients. I used a mixture of experience, intuition and an exhausting “helicopter-parent” style of accountability coaching. It was like the 20% of the clients who weren’t getting good results took up 80% of my effort, and it was draining my passion for my business. Completing my Certification with Kylie has been the best decision of my career. The very next month after finishing I created a new program and made $30,000 in new sales. I now have a repeatable system to coach my clients and I can get them both immediate AND long-lasting change, sometimes in less than 40 minutes. In the past 12 months, I have doubled my freedom and fulfilment in my business I have created raving clients who snap up my offers.”
I signed up with Kylie because I knew that to have a bigger effect as a PT I needed to improve my understanding of how the mind works. Through NLP Coach training I now have great coaching techniques that break through all sorts of negative behaviour patterns. I’ve noticed big improvements in all areas of my life including my own personal finances and my client retention. This has allowed me new freedom to work on scaling my business and helping even more people with less one on one time from myself. The coach training has given me the ability to fully unlock the power of your mindset and those that don’t have this skill are only tapping into a small amount of their potential.
This morning I had a kick-ass coaching session with Kylie Ryan. We’ve been working together for a couple of months, and she’s the perfect person to help me integrate the rapid transformations I go through regularly. I’d been getting this vision of my fully mature creative and entrepreneurial self. His discipline, commitment, and command of wealth was 10x what mine is now, but it wasn’t really about money for him. Our coaching sessions usually roll with me saying, “Kylie, I want to be, do, and have EVERYTHING” and Kylie helping me find the archetypes and parts that aren’t integrated and bringing them together. MAGICK HAPPENS EVERY TIME.