• Why focusing on losing weight is a false bottomed goal that ruins your progress
• How the key to losing weight lies in enjoying life more
• The secret to happy weight loss – (hint: it’s not what you think)
Have you ever felt like losing weight and keeping it off has been this constant struggle in your life and it’s this endless weight loss rollercoaster that you’ve never really gotten off?
Today I’m talking to you about the first of the 7 Deadliest Diet Sins, the critical diet mistakes that you are probably already making – and you don’t even know it.
This one’s probably going to surprise you. It’s actually having a weight loss goal.
That means that you’re constantly looking at the world with these glasses on there saying “there’s something wrong with me”. So you keep looking for things in your environment that supports this belief.
Now, have you ever learnt a new word and once you’ve learnt it it seems to pop up everywhere? Or you’ve seen a new color car and you never saw it before – but once you’ve seen it once then you happen to see it so many times during the day?
Well, this is the kind of recognition that happens if you are looking out at the world thinking that you need to lose weight. You will constantly seek out instances that prove this belief to be true and you will actively ignore and discard instances that say that you’re beautiful and that you’re perfect and that you don’t need to change for anybody.
Do you say, “Oh wow, thanks for noticing. I’m been working really hard” or “Yeah, I do look really awesome, don’t I?”
Or do you say, “Oh my god, I know! wasn’t I so disgusting?” “Yeah, now all I need to do is lose my fat ass.” “Yeah, I’ve lost 10 kilos, now I have to lose this.” “How do I get rid of this? How do I get rid of this? And how do I get rid of this?”
But instead, if you have goals that are more about gaining life so that you’re looking for all the things that are going right in your life, you can fill up on the deliciousness of life instead of always reaching for the chemicals, food, drugs and alcohol to make you feel better.
“I don’t do drugs.”
Yes, girlfriend. Caffeine is a drug. And sugar and starch and carbohydrates also affect our body’s opiate receptors in the brain. So one of the key building blocks is how you focus your attention to losing weight.
Most people think that in order to be successful and happy they need to slim – but I’m sure you’ve been surprised that even when you have lost weight before, all those problems that perhaps you thought were going to disappear are still there because you’re still you and you’re just slimmer.
And even when you get to that magic number, ideal weight, you’re still wanting more, you’re never really satisfied. You’ve got this hunger that is never totally quenched and you go back to those bad habits again – stuffing your face full of food, drugs, alcohol.
When you’re looking out at the world with the glasses that say there’s something wrong with you, you’re more likely to take extreme measures that are difficult to sustain for the long-term – punish yourself doing exercise you really rather not be doing, be overly critical, and you definitely brush off compliments – which is going to lead you no other place than you feeling like crap.
Now when you feel crap, you eat crap. And because you are what you eat you’re going to look crap. Surprise, surprise!!! That’s going to make you continue to feel crap.
All right. So how do you fix this?
Well, you’ve got no other choice but to go about this in a way that you’ve never ever done before. And instead of punishing and forcing your body, you’re going to love your body lean.
So when you have a gain life goal instead of a lose weight goal, it means that you’re looking out at glasses that say, “I appreciate where I am but I’d like to get over there. I feel good now, but I want to feel better.”
And it’s all a matter of perspective. Even though you’re feeling like crap where you are, there are things that you can feel grateful about – the fact that you can walk, the fact that you can breathe.
Well, when you feel good, you’re more likely to eat the food that makes you feel good. Which in turn helps you look good, which (surprise, surprise) helps you to continue to feel good.
Instead of focusing on how much weight you want to lose or rip off your body, focus on how much life you want to gain instead by doing all those fun activities you always said you would do once you’ve lost the weight.
Find things to appreciate about your life and your body even if it’s something really small – and stop postponing your happiness for the day that you weigh a magic number on the scale and start enjoying life as you are right now.
As a result, you’ll just start eating more healthily most of the time and exercising for fun, just because you want to. And then losing weight becomes just a by-product of you being happy, living life.
Today, let go of these expectations that a certain weight on a scale is what’s going to make you happy.
I’ve passed the big 4-0! I’ve now ‘released’ 48kgs, since the birth of my son 2 years ago. To Kylie, Selina and all my GBQ sisters, you helped me to get out of my own way, so I could coach my inner critic and encourage my cheerleader. I am getting my pre-babies mojo back and am in a better headspace than when I was fighting fit! I feel like GBQ really delivered on the greatest gift, self-love and clarity, and has given me the confidence and conviction to continue my journey! Thank you.
With Kylie’s help I released the hopelessness & anger I was using as an excuse, and have stepped out of my shell with a vengeance! I’m now clear on what I want to do with my life and I’m taking steps towards making it a reality, and in doing so my entire eating habits have changed… the ‘hunger subsided’ & I’ve stuck to my better eating habits and gym workouts easily. It’s been amazing!
Working with Kylie has been life changing. Kylie helped me get back in touch with my own body, taught me how to nourish myself and get my glowing, gorgeous body. She helped me move from self-loathing to self-love. She taught me how to consciously turn down the critical voice and turn up my inner cheerleader. Without a doubt starting with your mindset is the first place to start on your weight loss journey. Lasting results for sure and totally life changing!
What I have gotten out of the course can’t be measured. I glow from the inside out! For the first time in years; I am happy because I am happy! I love myself – I can actually look in a mirror with no self loathing… I love the woman smiling back at me and not just because my body has changed on the outside – I have changed from the inside and it is a reflection!
Everything has really changed, I finally let the girl inside out. I feel like my life has really just started. I’ve had a massive increase in personal power (from zero), sense of possibility, happiness, resilience, CONFIDENCE! Reached my first weight loss goal, I have gone from a size 12 to an 8-10. I love myself and respect myself for the first time, I cannot express how much this has changed me. Thank you does not even cut it.
I have been struggling with my weight and feeling of not being good enough for as long as I can remember…This has changed for me now. I have had more awakenings and realisations and learnings than I thought possible in the past few months. This really is SOOOOO not about the weight. I TOTALLY get that now.
I have loads more energy… I’m eating so well and exercising when I can. With my 1st baby I couldn’t cope with the emotional roller-coaster that is pregnancy. I ate, and ate, and ate non-stop. My head is in such a great place at the moment. I owe it all to Kylie and your Goddess Body Quest program x