How does it feel when you set a great goal and work hard for it and then don’t achieve it?
It’s not super fun to say the least.
How you deal with not achieving your goals probably has more to do with your success than anything else. What frames and ideas do you have about achieving or not achieving your goals?
If you don’t get it does that mean you’ve failed?
Worse still, does that mean that you’ll never get it?
These kind of meanings make you feel awful and don’t help you to pick yourself back up. It’s called awfulizing, kind of like making a mountain out of a molehill.
Instead of seeing not achieving your goal as failure, you could see it as just feedback that what you did needs to be tweaked slightly, so that you can achieve the results you want. Often just a small key factor will have been overlooked and once you get that right then your results will come easily.
There is no failure, only feedback.
So, here are some questions you could ask yourself to more usefully assess the feedback from an unsuccessful attempt at a goal.
Sometimes you will unconsciously sabotage your own efforts because of a little thing called secondary gain. Secondary gain means that you hold onto a problem, because it helps you in some way, or helps you avoid facing a bigger problem.
A relevant example might be someone who has had a traumatic and hurtful relationship in the past staying overweight to prevent themselves from dating again, therefore preventing the possibility of getting hurt again.
This is somewhat warped logic when you state it in a sentence like that, but it is a massive stumbling block for many women (and men) and it was one of the reasons I was overweight in the past.
If this, or some other secondary gain is sabotaging your efforts, take some time to really ask yourself, is sabotaging yourself really worth it? Is what you gain worth not getting this goal? Is there some other way you could have both? Or even some better outcome that you haven’t even thought of yet?
Persistence really is the key when it comes to getting slim and staying slim. If something you have attempted has not gotten you the results you want, don’t throw in the towel. Look for where you can improve your strategy and tactics, try something different and keep at it.
Soon I will be releasing information on the Slim & Sexy Club which will help you to overcome this kind of self-sabotage and keep you motivated to keep at it, and help you to get FAST results… Stay tuned. Or if you’re keen send me an email at kylie@MyMindCoach.com.au to go on the waiting list.
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“Before I signed up with Kylie I had a busy PT business… I was exhausted and on the brink of burnout and no matter how hard I tried, I had reached a ceiling in my income that I just couldn’t break through. After completing my NLP Coaching certification, I found my true voice and the energy of my business has been completely transformed. I’ve created an online program, up-levelled my entire business and totally smashed my previous income goals. I make decisions more confidently and I can help my clients create change in their life even faster. On a personal level, NLP gave me the inner strength to leave a toxic situation and rebuild myself which lead to me discovering the love of my life! Today I am living the life that I’ve always wanted – but just hadn’t been able to put into words. I have never been this happy or this powerful. If you want to manifest the life of your dreams I would not hesitate to reach out for help from Kylie.”
I signed up with Kylie because I knew that to have a bigger effect as a PT I needed to improve my understanding of how the mind works. Through NLP Coach training I now have great coaching techniques that break through all sorts of negative behaviour patterns. I’ve noticed big improvements in all areas of my life including my own personal finances and my client retention. This has allowed me new freedom to work on scaling my business and helping even more people with less one on one time from myself. The coach training has given me the ability to fully unlock the power of your mindset and those that don’t have this skill are only tapping into a small amount of their potential.
This morning I had a kick-ass coaching session with Kylie Ryan. We’ve been working together for a couple of months, and she’s the perfect person to help me integrate the rapid transformations I go through regularly. I’d been getting this vision of my fully mature creative and entrepreneurial self. His discipline, commitment, and command of wealth was 10x what mine is now, but it wasn’t really about money for him. Our coaching sessions usually roll with me saying, “Kylie, I want to be, do, and have EVERYTHING” and Kylie helping me find the archetypes and parts that aren’t integrated and bringing them together. MAGICK HAPPENS EVERY TIME.