This video is for coaches, healers, and practitioners who are starting out and struggling with feeling like a fraud, feeling that fraud factor, the imposter syndrome, that they can’t possibly do the work that they’re called to do in the world because they either don’t have the results themselves, or they’re just starting out, so they don’t have that clear understanding and that clear level of expertise behind them to give them that sense of gravitas, of confidence, of competence.
It’s rampant, right? Even some of the CEOs that I’ve coached in the past have felt like imposters.
Astonishing. It really astonishes me. I guess I was lucky I had a mum that when I was growing up, she always said to me, “You know, Kylie, you can do whatever you want to, as long as you’re willing to work hard and believe in yourself.” And so I’ve never really had that fraud factor.
I remember when I first started out as a life coach in my early 20s – at 23, 24 – I was like, “How could I possibly coach anyone on life?” Because I’m only like a young girl and I haven’t really achieved that much in my life to kind of prove that. I didn’t have any kind of real results to say, “I’ve got this result and that result.”
I was really lucky at that time to have an amazing mentor, Alice Haemmerle, who was one of my dear friends and has been my singing teacher for many years before that. She kind of took me under her wing, and I was like her apprentice.
I think a big part of what’s missing these days in the coaching and training field is that we don’t have mentor-apprentice relationships that often, it’s not formalized.
Yes, so she helped me get through this fraud factor idea. And she was like, “No, Kylie, what I’ve trained you in is expert skills in mindset and NLP so you can help people with their stuff, because you’re an expert in this particular skill set, so you don’t have to have the specific results in order to be able to ask questions and help people to come to their own answers.”
That said, I think that there’s some really interesting pieces to be aware of when it comes to the fraud factor, because I’m not a proponent of being a business coach but you’ve never run a business, or saying that you’re a relationship coach, and meanwhile, you’re single and struggling in your relationship.
There’s this idea that what you teach is what you most need to learn. I don’t really go for that because, yes, what you teach eventually is what you have been through and what you have mastered, but you don’t teach what you’re going through while you’re going through it. I don’t believe it’s okay or ethical to be training on having a happy marriage if you don’t have a happy marriage. You might have relationship skills that you can bring to it, but don’t claim the results that you don’t yet have.
So, that said, there is a way around the fraud factor that you can get around ethically and with integrity by just being truthful about where you’re at in your life. And the thing is, sometimes you might be called to a bigger vision – this is kind of what I was talking about recently – you might be called to a bigger future vision than you can currently contain. You might be called to work with some result that you need to grow into.
And as you’re growing into that, you’d be honest and ethical and have integrity about where you’re at now and the people that you can help now.
Wherever you start in your journey, if you’ve done kind of a 7-day training, or a Spiral practitioner, or an NLP practitioner, or Reiki, or AromaTouch, or whatever training you’ve done, you have skills, right? You’ve done more training than 99% of the population in that particular thing.
So, you get clear on what that particular thing you can help someone with that you have passion about – and you start building a client base around that, around where you’re at now and the skill set that you currently have.
And as you grow that skill set, and you grow that client base from where you are now, you will grow into the vision of who you are becoming – and you start to gain the expertise and you start to build competence in your particular skill set, which builds your confidence to then grow your circle of influence.
Competence grows your confidence, which grows your influence.
That is how you deal with the fraud factor with integrity and help people where you’re at, while still growing into who you are becoming and the leader and change maker that you are aspiring to be.
I hope that served you. I have an amazing collective that is coming up to step into my mentor’s shoes.
I’ve been in the coaching field for 15 years now, coaching and training. I’m a qualified coach and trainer – and it’s time for me to step into that mentorship shoes and help other people who are starting out.
So if you are keen to have me as your mentor – encouraging, guiding, answering questions, supporting you with your clients – write mentor in the comments below and I will get you all the details, and you’ll be eligible for my launch bonus super special price of mentorship of the collective that I am beginning shortly.
Big love. I’ll speak to you guys soon.
“Having ongoing training is essential for our team and our business. It’s important to look after the people that look after others. Kylie has the experience, professionalism and knowledge to engage with our team and help them understand about human behaviour and why people do what they do. In the wellness and health industry it’s a different sales and service delivery and it’s imperative to keep on top of these understandings to perform at our best to help others. We couldn’t recommend Kylie high enough.”
I have worked with Kylie over many years. She has helped me as a Business Mindset Coach, as a motivational speaker for clients when I had my gyms with Vision and more recently at Flow Athletic. I bring her in to train my Personal Training teams in mindset, communication and how to coach our clients better and excel in our own personal mastery.
I highly recommend her work.