As you make more and more positive changes in your life, you might notice that some of your friends and family really support you and are genuinely happy for your making a positive change for yourself and there are others who undermine you with little comments and looks that might just leave you feeling upset and wanting to go back to your old unhealthy habits.
Remember that you naturally end up spend time with people who are like you. So if used to eat unhealthily, not exercise, or drink lots of alcohol with your friends and family and now you have decided to change, you are no longer being “like” them in those behaviours.
Some people will find this threatening and challenging, because by you making a stand and choosing to do something differently you are forcing them to notice that the behaviour is unhealthy.
If they are not aware of this happening, they may begin to make snide comments, or pressure you to go back to your old ways so that you can be doing it together and then they won’t feel so bad about continuing in their unhealthy habits
Here’s some suggestions on how to tackle this challenge:
Connecting with and remembering your own reasons for making this change will help you to stand your ground, enforce your boundaries and say no!
They are not deliberately trying to undermine you or not support you, it’s just that your change has activated some uncomfortable feelings and ideas they don’t want to face yet. It mostly has nothing to do with their love or friendship with you, but is really about them being afraid of making a change themselves. Or maybe they are afraid of losing you if you make such a big change in your life and they don’t.
When you realise that their behaviour is coming from their own fear or other emotions, you can be compassionate and help them through it rather than focussing on being hurt yourself. Take some time to talk to them privately, and let them know that you would really like their support in your changes and that you don’t expect them to change too, you just want them to not encourage you to slip up. Remind them why you love them and that if they would like to make a change you are happy to support them and do it together.
Some people will really take your talk to heart, and some people wont. You must realise that you are in charge of your own life and you are making this change for good reasons. Sometimes that big reward and lifestyle change means saying no when it is not totally easy, or even limiting time with people who are still actively undermining you. If you must spend time with a person who is actively hostile to your change. Imagine a big white bubble of light protecting you from their negativity whenever you’re around them.
There are lots of wonderful new friends and colleagues out there who will welcome and be very supportive of your new habits. Notice who they are and begin to spend more time with people who uplift you, support you and help you on your journey. If you are in an isolated area make use of the wonderful online groups, forums and blogs where you can connect with likeminded people as you make this change.
This shift in your circle of friends will naturally happen over time. So just allow it to happen and know that the more time you spend around people who are on the same journey the more you can embed those new habits and make your lifestyle change even easier.
If you need help to release hurt or anger at a friend or family member who has been undermining you, please send me an email or comment below.
“Having ongoing training is essential for our team and our business. It’s important to look after the people that look after others. Kylie has the experience, professionalism and knowledge to engage with our team and help them understand about human behaviour and why people do what they do. In the wellness and health industry it’s a different sales and service delivery and it’s imperative to keep on top of these understandings to perform at our best to help others. We couldn’t recommend Kylie high enough.”
“I have worked with Kylie over many years. She has helped me as a Business Mindset Coach, as a motivational speaker for my gym clients at both Vision Personal Training & now at Flow Athletic. I bring her in to train my Personal Training teams in mindset, communication and how to coach our clients better and excel in our own personal mastery as fitness leaders. At my recent Fitness Business event, my gym owner colleagues were blown away by her talk, saying she is the best speaker they have ever seen. After every event we always get rave reviews about her talks and training. I highly recommend Kylie’s work as a coach & speaker.”
“I finished the Spiritual Awakening Course yesterday and I found it truly amazing. An incredible next step after our coach training. I feel so much more enlightened and “opened-up”. It has really opened my eyes to the power of the universe and the energy flowing in each of us. I loved it – thank you.
I am feeling so lucky at the moment. So many things are just falling into my lap. I visualise it and set my intention to manifest it and it comes. Things such as getting more clients, needing help to put my business online, not knowing how to get known in my local community etc. Courses / insights / clients have just fallen into my lap at the right time.”
Of course I am still learning and growing, but the course has really helped. Thank you”
“Before I signed up with Kylie I had a busy PT business… I was exhausted and on the brink of burnout and no matter how hard I tried, I had reached a ceiling in my income that I just couldn’t break through. After completing my NLP Coaching certification, I found my true voice and the energy of my business has been completely transformed. I’ve created an online program, up-levelled my entire business and totally smashed my previous income goals. I make decisions more confidently and I can help my clients create change in their life even faster. On a personal level, NLP gave me the inner strength to leave a toxic situation and rebuild myself which lead to me discovering the love of my life! Today I am living the life that I’ve always wanted – but just hadn’t been able to put into words. I have never been this happy or this powerful. If you want to manifest the life of your dreams I would not hesitate to reach out for help from Kylie.”
I signed up with Kylie because I knew that to have a bigger effect as a PT I needed to improve my understanding of how the mind works. Through NLP Coach training I now have great coaching techniques that break through all sorts of negative behaviour patterns. I’ve noticed big improvements in all areas of my life including my own personal finances and my client retention. This has allowed me new freedom to work on scaling my business and helping even more people with less one on one time from myself. The coach training has given me the ability to fully unlock the power of your mindset and those that don’t have this skill are only tapping into a small amount of their potential.
This morning I had a kick-ass coaching session with Kylie Ryan. We’ve been working together for a couple of months, and she’s the perfect person to help me integrate the rapid transformations I go through regularly. I’d been getting this vision of my fully mature creative and entrepreneurial self. His discipline, commitment, and command of wealth was 10x what mine is now, but it wasn’t really about money for him. Our coaching sessions usually roll with me saying, “Kylie, I want to be, do, and have EVERYTHING” and Kylie helping me find the archetypes and parts that aren’t integrated and bringing them together. MAGICK HAPPENS EVERY TIME.