Feedback – Tips to give and to receive with grace.
I was blessed to receive some feedback today from a client and friend, that will help me to grow and become more awesome, efficient and effective in my business and serve you better! Yay!
This wonderful friend is a strategy and systems expert, and she pointed out some areas of my business that could use a little strategy love and organisation.
I so appreciate the comments and the minute she said it I knew it was true. As a mum of two with a very full life, sometimes my organisation is not as water-tight as I would like it to be! Strategy and systems are those working-ON-the-business things that makes everything better in the long run, but takes time to set up and orchestrate at the start. I love that stuff, and need to do even more of it.
Even though I welcomed this feedback, it was challenging for her to bring it up with me.
Why is this?
Well most people take constructive feedback as a personal attack, and become defensive and hurt. It can totally ruin relationships! So most people stay silent rather than share their experience. While this has a kind-hearted intention, often the feedback is the very thing we need to grow!
Feedback is the very thing we need to grow.
The only reason we get defensive, is that we have attached our self-worth to behaviour or creation. So when you perceive someone “criticise” IT, you can hear it as a personal attack on who YOU ARE.
Have you ever felt attacked, or personally criticised when on reflection, you now know that it was just someone trying to help you get better?
It can be hard to hear feedback. So here’s some tips to help you give and receive it.
Tips for receiving feedback with grace.
– There’s no failure, only feedback.
Remember that someone having an opinion of how you could do something better does not equate to a failure of your character or you as a person. When you take “failure” out of the picture, it removes the sting out of hearing about something you could do better.
– Search inside yourself, to see if there is merit.
Instead of brushing it off as angry or mean, reflect and research to see if the feedback has merit and can be of value. Find out if others feel the same and if a change is required. Everybody brings their own projections, beliefs and expectations into the experience and it is a co-creation of both people.
– If it does, take action!
If someone has gone to the trouble of giving you feedback, it means that the issue had a big enough impact on them to warrant them spending their time and emotion telling you. It can be uncomfortable to give constructive feedback, and my opinion is that people don’t waste that time or energy on people they don’t care, so value the experience as a learning and take action to remedy as soon as possible.
[adrotate banner=”4″]
Tips for giving feedback with grace.
If you feel that you have genuine constructive feedback to give someone, but are unsure of how to go about it, this can help.
– Focus on your intent to serve the person to grow.
When you focus on your caring intention, your approach will be very different to someone who is just being nasty. If you truly want to help, you need the other person to hear what you’re saying and not be defensive, so approach with love and care.
– Be specific to the sensory facts.
Instead of making sweeping generalisations, aim to be precise and stick to the facts as you perceive them. Often the person will not have the same experience of the events as you do, so if you can stick to your truth with words like “i saw…”, “I heard…”, “I felt…” then the person can come to their own conclusions without feeling like they are being attacked.
– Be compassionate and clear.
Remember that you don’t know what you don’t know. Nobody means to make a mistake, or do something in a way that is an inconvenience for someone else, but often you don’t know what you don’t know. That goes for you and the other person. There are things that you both are unaware of in the exchange, and that’s ok! It’s not possible to know everything. If the feedback is important enough for you to want to share it, then follow through, be compassionate, and clear. Remember giving feedback is a way of showing you care.
If you can approach giving and receiving feedback with an open heart and communicate clearly then it will become an opportunity for growth for you both.
So, with that in mind, I’d LOVE to ask you for some feedback now. Constructive or celebratory! If you are a new reader, or long time follower, a client or customer, I would love to hear your experience of my service and any ideas you have to help me serve you better.
Can you help me by sharing your feedback on how I can serve you better?
Leave a reply
“We couldn’t recommend Kylie highly enough.”
“Having ongoing training is essential for our team and our business. It’s important to look after the people that look after others. Kylie has the experience, professionalism and knowledge to engage with our team and help them understand about human behaviour and why people do what they do. In the wellness and health industry it’s a different sales and service delivery and it’s imperative to keep on top of these understandings to perform at our best to help others. We couldn’t recommend Kylie high enough.”
- Amanda Bracks - Owner Soulful Fitness (2019 Fitness Australia Boutique of the Year)
“She’s the best speaker they’ve ever seen.”
“I have worked with Kylie over many years. She has helped me as a Business Mindset Coach, as a motivational speaker for my gym clients at both Vision Personal Training & now at Flow Athletic. I bring her in to train my Personal Training teams in mindset, communication and how to coach our clients better and excel in our own personal mastery as fitness leaders. At my recent Fitness Business event, my gym owner colleagues were blown away by her talk, saying she is the best speaker they have ever seen. After every event we always get rave reviews about her talks and training. I highly recommend Kylie’s work as a coach & speaker.”
- Ben Lucas - Founder & CEO, Flow Athletic
“So many things are just falling into my lap.”
“I finished the Spiritual Awakening Course yesterday and I found it truly amazing. An incredible next step after our coach training. I feel so much more enlightened and “opened-up”. It has really opened my eyes to the power of the universe and the energy flowing in each of us. I loved it – thank you.
I am feeling so lucky at the moment. So many things are just falling into my lap. I visualise it and set my intention to manifest it and it comes. Things such as getting more clients, needing help to put my business online, not knowing how to get known in my local community etc. Courses / insights / clients have just fallen into my lap at the right time.”
Of course I am still learning and growing, but the course has really helped. Thank you”
- Katharine Williams - NLP Coach, Limitless Growth
“I have never been this happy or powerful.”
“Before I signed up with Kylie I had a busy PT business… I was exhausted and on the brink of burnout and no matter how hard I tried, I had reached a ceiling in my income that I just couldn’t break through. After completing my NLP Coaching certification, I found my true voice and the energy of my business has been completely transformed. I’ve created an online program, up-levelled my entire business and totally smashed my previous income goals. I make decisions more confidently and I can help my clients create change in their life even faster. On a personal level, NLP gave me the inner strength to leave a toxic situation and rebuild myself which lead to me discovering the love of my life! Today I am living the life that I’ve always wanted – but just hadn’t been able to put into words. I have never been this happy or this powerful. If you want to manifest the life of your dreams I would not hesitate to reach out for help from Kylie.”
- Danni Vee - Women's Health Coach, My Fit Tribe
“I’ve noticed big improvements in my finances and client retention”
I signed up with Kylie because I knew that to have a bigger effect as a PT I needed to improve my understanding of how the mind works. Through NLP Coach training I now have great coaching techniques that break through all sorts of negative behaviour patterns. I’ve noticed big improvements in all areas of my life including my own personal finances and my client retention. This has allowed me new freedom to work on scaling my business and helping even more people with less one on one time from myself. The coach training has given me the ability to fully unlock the power of your mindset and those that don’t have this skill are only tapping into a small amount of their potential.
- Blake Worrall-Thompson, Performance Coach & PT
“Magick happens every time!”
This morning I had a kick-ass coaching session with Kylie Ryan. We’ve been working together for a couple of months, and she’s the perfect person to help me integrate the rapid transformations I go through regularly. I’d been getting this vision of my fully mature creative and entrepreneurial self. His discipline, commitment, and command of wealth was 10x what mine is now, but it wasn’t really about money for him. Our coaching sessions usually roll with me saying, “Kylie, I want to be, do, and have EVERYTHING” and Kylie helping me find the archetypes and parts that aren’t integrated and bringing them together. MAGICK HAPPENS EVERY TIME.
- Dane Tomas - Creator of The Spiral
Featured In
Comments (2)