Freedom

Freedom

Hatred, Sadness, Fear, Guilt, Anger, Insecurities… So many feelings hold us back.

It has been a long time now that I have been thinking about how I feel and why I feel it. Do I want to feel this way again? Do I want to let go? Am I ready to let go? Freedom is as scary imprisonment is but I have to chose between the two. If I build a prison around myself I will feel “safe” and if I let myself free I have endless possibilities, I can travel, I can discover every part of the world while I discover every part of me.  However, freedom requires risks and if you are not willing to take them then there is no point of having it.

As you have noticed I stated ‘feel “safe” ‘. In my eyes safety is an illusion. I am scared of being slim and sexy. I am afraid of attracting men that can do me harm. I am slowly coming to realize that this is BULLSHIT!! A person full of fear, insecurities, low self confidence, low self worth just like me maybe just like you…This is the person that will attract such predators because don’t forget humans are also animals. They smell fear and they attack the weakest.

 

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I never believed that I am weak, I always thought I was a fighter because I always wanted to be one. That is why I kept my promise I gave to you last weak. I did discover the reasons behind my self-hatred. All those negative STUPID beliefs of mine are dominating waking up my old sadness, anger, fear, guilt…

As a true fighter I will fight through each and every one of those Limiting Beliefs and those negatives emotions. A few days ago I made the start. To be honest it did not go away completely. Yesterday I tried releasing my old sadness and it is gone. That was the third time I tried and I finally let it go.

All I want to say is don’t give up. If you are like me, if your beliefs are too strong then give it time. Everything can change not in seconds but maybe in days, maybe in weeks or months. Breaking out of a prison is not easy right? You need patience, consistency, hope, belief that you can do it, a good plan, a dream to follow…(Have you seen Shawshank Redemption? well something like that).

Don’t give up one day you will be redeemed. One day freedom will be yours!

With endless love,

Cauliflower!!!

 

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