Mmmm I got a plan
Yeah, you got a plan?
I got a plan that’ll make you a star
Make you go rich, make you go far.
– INXS ‘Shining Star’ Lyrics
Yeah, I got a plan.
I’ve also got INXS fever, with the mini-series on telly last week and having a re-run of some old favourite INXS songs. Listening to “Shining Star” got me thinking about my own plan. Not to be a rock star and tour the world. Not in this life anyway, since I didn’t get blessed with the singing gene…
I’m still pretty fit, considering I’m carrying an extra 22kg. I can dance my butt off with the best of them in BodyJam or Zumba. I even recently clocked a Bio Age of 8 years less than my real age. But it’s no wonder I can’t even do a single chin-up, ever tried doing one with a 20kg weight on your feet? It’s hardly a surprise that I feel crappy and tired just living my life. So, in truth, am I healthy? Slim? Um, not so much.
Yeah, I got a plan.
I see flashes of skinny me. Yep, that’s where I plan to be. I’m gonna, gonna, gonna! Then I see my image in a shop window, or getting undressed and stare in mixed horror/surreal amusement that my once six-pack stomach (seriously!) is now pouching over the top of my undies. How the hell did that happen? How the hell do I get out of Chubster Town? It seems impossible to lose all that weight. Even though I know I am bordering on obese – and I am at real risk of developing diabetes, having had gestational diabetes in my second pregnancy – my plan just falls apart. So I eat more to keep stuffing down those feelings of fatness and failure.
Actually, Michael Hutchence, I don’t have a plan.
Not yet, anyway.
What I have at the moment is just a cry for slimness that gets drowned out by noisy, negative self-talk. Something I’ve learned from the Goddess Body Quest is the importance of clarity: knowing my values, and making clear plans to live in accord with my values. I know I want to become the Sim, Sexy, Sensational and Sizzlingly Happy Goddess that I truly am, beneath the lumpy layers of living. It’s not just about losing weight. It’s a liposuction of my life, to clear out the crap and fill it with stuff I love and value. Only then will I truly lose weight and gain a Goddess life. No need to comfort eat.
There’s a whole lot of work to do, finding clarity and making firm plans, dealing with self-doubts. But I think the time is finally right for me. I am totally up for it. Writing about it is part of the process. Part therapeutic, part sharing and inspiring others like me to do the same. Hell, if I can do it, ANYBODY can. I hope you’ll join me on my journey, and read my posts along the way. By the way:
Have you gotta plan?
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