Hey guys! For coaches, practitioners and healers, here is a little bit of an understanding for you around anxiety and worry.
I just shared it in a live group coaching call for a program that I ran with Bianca on Food Freedom.
And this is the kind of information that I will be able to share with you in the Growth Collective, which is opening tomorrow for the Lion’s Gate.
I’m super excited to open this up for you tomorrow and share more information like this.
So, the structure of anxiety, let’s look at it and unpack it so that you know how to help unwind it for your clients.
The thing about learning and doing training and improving your professional knowledge is that it helps you save time.
It helps save you time going around and around in circles with your clients, trying to figure out what’s going on, trying to figure out how to help them and trying to help them make a change.
You can go around and around in circles trying to figure it out yourself, or you can learn the system and the structures that underpin certain things that are pretty common across human brains and the way human brains process things.
Anxiety. The structure of it is making a mental picture in your mind about a negative future, creating a future that is worse than your current situation.
And so then when you make this big big movie in your mind of some negative future of something bad happening, which may have been influenced by something bad happening in your past, so you take that something bad happening in your past and you imagine it happening in your future.
Then there’s a few different ways that you can unwind it.
But what happens is that when you play that movie in your mind, your sympathetic nervous system gets all, “Arghhh!!!” Like stressed out. Cortisol runs through your body, your prefrontal cortex turns off, you can’t think straight and your lizard brain goes on overdrive of like, “How can I keep things safe?”
So you shut down certain responses and you start to stress out. Maybe your breathing changes. Lots of different things.
We want to understand the structure of awfulising, like making a problem bigger than it needs to be bigger than it is.
There’s three processes that happen when we awfulise something, when we catastrophize over it and make it bigger than it needs to be.
1. You take the problem and you make it personal.
“Oh my god, this bad thing happened. I’m a bad person. I did this bad thing.”
“I’m really awful. This is awful. I can’t do this.”
“I’m a terrible person. I can’t believe I did this.”
When you make something personal then you’re taking one problem or one mistake and making it about you. And that’s one way that anxiety makes things worse.
2) You make it pervasive.
So there’s this one thing that’s happened:
“I didn’t eat a healthy meal”
“Oh, I missed my exercise session”
“Oh god, I’m such a fat slob. I’m so lazy.”
You take that one particular problem or that one mistake or that one “bad” choice and say, “This is awful. My whole life is awful.” You make it pervasive through different areas of your life.
3) You make it permanent through time.
“Oh my god, I didn’t do this right.”
“Oh my god, I’ll always do this.”
“I’m so awful. I’m such a failure.”
Want to know what the word is?
This is just this thing. It’s not you. It’s just this choice. It’s just this area of your life. There are other areas of your life that are wonderful.
Like, what are the wonderful things that are happening in your life simultaneously to this problem?
It’s just this one area and it’s just for now. It’s just now. This too shall pass.
So just starts to shrink down that awfulising process that can blow out your anxiety.
That’s one way from a coaching approach.
From a biological approach, you go, “Okay, so I can have this anxious movie in my mind, but if I do this deep breathing with a focus on the out-breath….” you will activate the vagus nerve, activate the parasympathetic nervous system.
When you focus on the out-breath, then it shifts your body from sympathetic of like there is danger into parasympathetic.
“I’m safe. “ Like it physiologically tells your body you are safe.
So take some deep breaths with me now.
If you’re watching this, lord knows you’re probably carrying some stress.
A lot of times we can clench our teeth and have tension in our jaw that tells our body that we need to grip onto something, white-knuckle grip it.
So just drop your shoulders, drop the back of your jaw so that can unwind anxiety from a physiological standpoint
From a mental picture and mental self-talk standpoint, anxiety is making these big pictures of bad things happening in the future.
You get to shift the movie that you’re playing by shrinking it down. This is using submodalities from NLP.
You could shrink the movie down and imagine that it’s far away. You could turn it into a
black and white movie. You could make it sepia like it’s some old Western movie
So you then reclaim the power of being the director of your own mind movies.
When you shrink it down and you make it sepia, or maybe you might like to put yourself in a funny costume and make it ridiculous, then your body doesn’t feel anxious. It might start to feel peaceful or even like, “This is funny.”
When you remember that you are the director of your mind movies then you could create different mind movies. You could create a future where the positive thing happened rather than the negative.
And so then when you go into shifting that like, “Imagine what would happen when this goes right?”
If you’re anxious about giving a speech, go out in your kind of time-traveling mind out to after the successful completion of your speech.
You can’t be anxious about your speech because you just did it. Right?
So we get to control, we get to have precision about how we use this amazing body-mind tool that we get to experience life with.
And when you have precision around how you can operate your machinery – the machinery of your body, the machinery of your mind, the machinery of your breath
and your emotions – then you get to have a better life and you get to support your clients in having a better life.
This is the kind of information that I’m going to be sharing in the Growth Collective.
The Growth Collective is an ongoing monthly membership for coaches, healers, practitioners, personal trainers, who want to move into health coaching.
If you are actively coaching others, whether you are trained or untrained, and you would like to gain more precision in how you approach different problems that your clients face and understand different approaches and different modalities…
And you would like to be supported in a non-judgmental supportive space that supports all different modalities and respects that one problem could be approached in hundreds of different ways and every different way has validity and importance…
And if you care about making a difference for your clients and you would like to learn how to get better and more precise. Just upgrading your skills…
If you’d like to learn how to get better, to grow yourself personally and professionally, then keep an eye out for the Growth Collective.
I am doing a soft launch of the membership tomorrow. There will be specials. It’s a low monthly membership. And we’re going to have live group coaching supervision calls where you can bring your client issues.
I’ve got 15 years of experience as an NLP coach, meta-coach, ph360 coach, Theta healer, Spiral practitioner, all of the things, so I can support you with my knowledge and experience – and we’re creating a collective of coaches, healers and practitioners who want to support others to help others and get better along the way
I’d love to see you there!
If you liked this tip and you would like more, then keep an eye out for the Growth Collective and I will share it with you tomorrow on the Lion’s Gate.
I’ll speak to you soon.
“Having ongoing training is essential for our team and our business. It’s important to look after the people that look after others. Kylie has the experience, professionalism and knowledge to engage with our team and help them understand about human behaviour and why people do what they do. In the wellness and health industry it’s a different sales and service delivery and it’s imperative to keep on top of these understandings to perform at our best to help others. We couldn’t recommend Kylie high enough.”
“I have worked with Kylie over many years. She has helped me as a Business Mindset Coach, as a motivational speaker for my gym clients at both Vision Personal Training & now at Flow Athletic. I bring her in to train my Personal Training teams in mindset, communication and how to coach our clients better and excel in our own personal mastery as fitness leaders. At my recent Fitness Business event, my gym owner colleagues were blown away by her talk, saying she is the best speaker they have ever seen. After every event we always get rave reviews about her talks and training. I highly recommend Kylie’s work as a coach & speaker.”
“I finished the Spiritual Awakening Course yesterday and I found it truly amazing. An incredible next step after our coach training. I feel so much more enlightened and “opened-up”. It has really opened my eyes to the power of the universe and the energy flowing in each of us. I loved it – thank you.
I am feeling so lucky at the moment. So many things are just falling into my lap. I visualise it and set my intention to manifest it and it comes. Things such as getting more clients, needing help to put my business online, not knowing how to get known in my local community etc. Courses / insights / clients have just fallen into my lap at the right time.”
Of course I am still learning and growing, but the course has really helped. Thank you”
“Before I met Kylie I was feeling very lost working full time in law in Sydney CBD. I’ve known my whole life that I was here to help people, but I just didn’t know exactly how. So when I found Kylie, it just was really fitting that it was going to help me ground my magic. I started the coach training and had an amazing time. It was beautiful to go through the process of having a mentor that had that spiritual element and that holistic element, as well as the very grounded science-based knowledge as well. So that really helped me to conjure that for myself.
I started my business before I even finished the course. I just started putting myself out there. And now I’ve gotten it to a point where I’ve got really grounded solid message, and two years later am running a multi-6 figure coaching business as a leading pioneer in my niche, helping clients all over the world.”
“Before I signed up with Kylie I had a busy PT business… I was exhausted and on the brink of burnout and no matter how hard I tried, I had reached a ceiling in my income that I just couldn’t break through. After completing my NLP Coaching certification, I found my true voice and the energy of my business has been completely transformed. I’ve created an online program, up-levelled my entire business and totally smashed my previous income goals. I make decisions more confidently and I can help my clients create change in their life even faster. On a personal level, NLP gave me the inner strength to leave a toxic situation and rebuild myself which lead to me discovering the love of my life! Today I am living the life that I’ve always wanted – but just hadn’t been able to put into words. I have never been this happy or this powerful. If you want to manifest the life of your dreams I would not hesitate to reach out for help from Kylie.”
Before attaining my NLP Coach certification, I was an online trainer who was getting excellent results for “some” of my clients. I used a mixture of experience, intuition and an exhausting “helicopter-parent” style of accountability coaching. It was like the 20% of the clients who weren’t getting good results took up 80% of my effort, and it was draining my passion for my business. Completing my Certification with Kylie has been the best decision of my career. The very next month after finishing I created a new program and made $30,000 in new sales. I now have a repeatable system to coach my clients and I can get them both immediate AND long-lasting change, sometimes in less than 40 minutes. In the past 12 months, I have doubled my freedom and fulfilment in my business I have created raving clients who snap up my offers.”
I signed up with Kylie because I knew that to have a bigger effect as a PT I needed to improve my understanding of how the mind works. Through NLP Coach training I now have great coaching techniques that break through all sorts of negative behaviour patterns. I’ve noticed big improvements in all areas of my life including my own personal finances and my client retention. This has allowed me new freedom to work on scaling my business and helping even more people with less one on one time from myself. The coach training has given me the ability to fully unlock the power of your mindset and those that don’t have this skill are only tapping into a small amount of their potential.
This morning I had a kick-ass coaching session with Kylie Ryan. We’ve been working together for a couple of months, and she’s the perfect person to help me integrate the rapid transformations I go through regularly. I’d been getting this vision of my fully mature creative and entrepreneurial self. His discipline, commitment, and command of wealth was 10x what mine is now, but it wasn’t really about money for him. Our coaching sessions usually roll with me saying, “Kylie, I want to be, do, and have EVERYTHING” and Kylie helping me find the archetypes and parts that aren’t integrated and bringing them together. MAGICK HAPPENS EVERY TIME.