How to stop fighting with yourself and reconcile the voices in your head.

How to stop fighting with yourself and reconcile the voices in your head.

Do you struggle with yourself about eating bad foods? About whether to get up and train or hit snooze?

Often times we have conflicting wants and desires within us, different parts of our brain and consciousness seem to have opposing needs and fight with each other. What do you do when the angel and devil on your shoulder are at war?

Two minds in one.

What you may not realise yet is that the two parts of yourself do actually have the same highest intention.  Hard to believe when one side says “eat the cake” and the other side says ” “What, are you crazy? Put that down now!”

Just like flip sides of the coin, both drives are necessary for you to maintain balance and equilibruim, however when they’re at loggerheads it can be exhausting and lead to poor choices.

The two sides within you can co-operate!

Do this exercise with me. Seriously do it. It will take about 10 mins and it works.

  • Take a piece of paper.
  • Draw fold it in half vertically.
  • One each half write the opposing drive, Something like “Eat the X” vs “Dont eat the X”.
  • Pick the side that you are having the most trouble with.
  • Pretend it is a little person inside of you, imagine what that part looks like, sounds like, feels like… See it in your mind.
  • Ask it if it is ok to have a conversation with you. Say please.
  • When it says yes, ask it: “What’s the purpose of what you want me to do?”
  • Write down whatever answer comes to mind on the first line.
  • then ask, ” and what’s the purpose of that?”
  • Write down the answer.
  • “and what’s the purpose of that?”
  • Write down the answer.
  • Repeat until you start looping and getting the same answers over and over.
  • Then ask “what’s the highest purpose of ALL that?”
  •  you might get a blank or think, there is no purpose.
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  • Stick with me. Think about it, keep asking the part inside, what’s the highest purpose?
  • You will eventually break through and have an “aha” moment where you come up with a positive highest purpose.
  • Then ask, what’s the purpose of that, and see if there’s an evebn higher purpose, you might get one, or you might think there is no purpose higher than that.  GREAT!
  • Now talk to the opposite side.
  • Repeat the same process.
  • When you get the two highest purposes you might notice that they are the same, or synonyms.
  • Ask the two sides, “do you realise you have the same highest purpose?”
  • They will get it.
  • Then imagine the two parts in your hand, coming together, you can mish mash and mix them up in your hands, like playdough.
  • When they are totally mixed up and at one again, bring your hands up to your heart and imagine the two parts coming into your heart.
  • Breathe in the integration of the two sides of yourself.
  • Let it settle inside.
  • Now ask yourself, when faced with that choice in my life, what choice will best serve my highest purpose?

The answer lies in the balance.

The truth is the answer may not always be the same. When you have conflicting voices that tell you to get up and train or sleep in, there are times when each one of them is right. It is not healthy to always get up and train, every single day; what about resting, recuperating, or when you are sick? Just like it is not healthy to sleep in every day.  If you’ve been at war with yourself, take the time to work through the conflict and master the dichotomy. This is how you can overcome black and white thinking, through integrating the two into the multifaceted shades of grey.

Join the conversation.

How did you go with the exercise? Got any questions?

Comments (2)

  1. Thank you, groundbreaking, took me into a new place – made me cry. All about emotional calming, trying to settle down by eating the cake v/s moving, walking, mental state changing. Boredom Is a big problem in the evening, twitchy, self defeating eating for comfort. Bye.

    • Amazing Valerie. I’m so glad to have helped you to make a shift! Thank you for letting me know. It makes my day! 🙂

      I teach more about comfort eating in my 1 day Massive Motivation seminar, you’ll also find lots in my other articles.

      All the best with your journey. I look forward to serving you more.

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