Is it Integrity or just Fear?

Is it Integrity or just Fear?


Hey there! This is for coaches who are not yet 100% being all in on their soul work to support others with their growth, coaches who are under $100,000 in their income from their soul work.

And, yes, money is just an arbitrary measure – but it is a pretty important measure when you need to pay your bills, pay your mortgage, feed your kids, drive a car, that kind of thing.

I’ve been talking to some of you guys, healers and coaches, based on some of the videos that I’ve been doing lately around shifting from this Wounded Healer into a magnetic transmission of wholeness, of being healed.

I think there’s a lot of ego games that our mind can play with us to keep us from really stepping into the service that we’re called to deliver to humanity.

One was this sense of “I still have so much to heal myself. I’m still working on myself. I can’t help others.”

There’s nothing wrong with that. I totally get that and I honor that as an integrity piece.

You don’t want to be a business coach that’s helping other people with their business and you don’t yet have a business. Like a relationship coach that is helping people have a happy marriage and they’re divorced or they’re going through their own thing.

You want to be in congruence with your message, with what you’re teaching.

At the same time, the ego can get ahold of that idea of “I need to be in integrity” and then just use that as an obstacle from getting started that stops you from putting out an offer and helping someone with something that you have mastered.

My invitation to you is if you are a coach, a healer, a consultant, a practitioner that is currently not working full-time in your chosen soul work helping people,and you’re doing other things to make ends meet because you’re not making enough, or you’re not charging enough, you’re not making enough money from what you’re doing, then there is a radical shift that needs to take place in the way that you show up to the world.

So many of you guys are super skilled, super trained, well-practiced, you have skills that can help people.

But you’re not.

So what’s going on with that?

There’s two things that I would encourage you to think of here.

Firstly, what is a result that you have mastered in your life that you genuinely have?

You might not have mastered all of the financial results, so don’t do financial coaching. But if you’ve mastered health, you can help others in integrity and in authenticity with their health.

If you’ve mastered yourself emotional eating and you are trained to help people in that then help people with that.

Put out an offer that is based on where you have already been and what you have already mastered so that you can be in authentic congruence, in integrity, and say, “Yes, I have personally mastered this in my life and I also have skills that can help other people with this particular thing.”

Brendon Burchard says that there’s three different types of expert: a results expert, a research expert and a reputation expert.

If you want to be a reputation expert, obviously, then you need to have integrity in how you’re showing up, in what you’re doing, and being in full power with what you’re doing.

When Napoleon Hill wrote Think and Grow Rich, he was not yet rich. It was the writing of the book that helped him to become rich.

But he was a research expert.

He had researched and worked with and uncovered and distilled the secrets of many other rich people of the time – Henry Ford and those behemoths of the early Industrial Age.

He wasn’t rich himself but he had studied with other rich people and distilled the essence of that when he wrote Think and Grow Rich.

And then it was that that propelled him into the next level of expert where he actually, genuinely became rich himself and then moved to the next level of the integrity, the results and reputation expert.

You don’t need to have all three in order to just get started – but you do need to be in integrity.

So what is a result that you have that you can help people with that you can really claim and be certain of and centered in your wholeness?

There are these two aspects.

There is the beingness of knowing that you are centered in “I have this result, and I know how to do this, and I am in integrity in here.”

That’s the being level.

There is also the skill set of the doing level.

And so you have the being level and you also have the doing level.

Some people are not getting out there and coaching the way that they could be and showing up in the way that they could be because they don’t have a clear mastery of the skill set required and get a bit stuck in knowing what to say when and that type of thing.

And so when you get a bit stuck knowing what to say then it’s the fear of like, “Ooh, what if I get stuck? What if I can’t help them? What if I…”

I clearly remember those times when I first started out as a coach and I was like, “Ooh, okay, I’m taking all these notes…” and then you get a bit lost and don’t know what to say next.

And that’s where I found my NLP training came in really handy at that point because there’s this really simple model in NLP that goes: present state, desired state, what are the interferences in the middle and what resources do we need to get from the present state to the desired state.

It’s like at any point you can check in with that.

Where are they now, where do they want to get to, what is in the way that is stopping them from getting where they want to go and what resources do they need to get over that.

And then you can use whatever whatever modality you are trained in and you have skills in to be able to help them clear those interferences and build those resources.

And they can be resources and interferences at a physical level, at a mental level, at an emotional level, at a spiritual level, at a neurological level.

There are all sorts of different ways.

You might be a massage therapist that helps people get clear of their physical blocks.

You might be a mindset coach that helps someone with their beliefs.

An energy worker that helps people with their energy field and their auric clearing and their chakras.

You might be a spiritual coach that does auric clearing and DNA activation.


You could be any one of these things – but the foundation is:

– Where are they in their real life?
– What are they struggling with?
– What’s the present state?
– Where do they want to get to?
– What do they want to have showing up in their 3D world that they can see, hear, feel, taste, touch?
– What are they missing?
– How are they getting in the way of themselves?
– What do they need to get over to the other side?


When we apply that to you as the coach, then it’s like… Okay, you’re here. You don’t have clients. You’re doing some other job that you’re not aligned with. You want to have clients. You want to be making great money from your soul work.

But it is your own fears that are getting in the way of you actually putting an offer out there and committing to yourself and saying, “Hey, I have this thing. Would you like it? I can help you.”

…into standing in your integrity and certainty of knowing that you can help someone.

And, obviously, the pricing, all of those things adjust as you increase your competence.

Your competence increases your confidence, which increases your influence.

As you move up this pathway then you get better and better and better at it.

But you’ve got to start.

You’ve got to start and you’ve got to keep at it. And you’ve got to commit to doing the do
and committing to continuing to show up.

You know that old book Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway?

When you feel the fear, it doesn’t mean it’s the wrong thing.

And I think a lot of the issue with people that are aligned with kind of spiritual coaching and energy work is that if it feels a bit uncomfortable then you can kind of tell yourself and rationalize to yourself, “Oh, this isn’t the right thing. This is not aligned. My spirit is telling me not to do this because it doesn’t feel good .”

But nothing feels good when you first do it.

Nothing worthwhile feels amazing the first time you do it.

Learning to walk wasn’t easy, learning to talk wasn’t easy – but you did that.

There is a capacity that you can tap into to do difficult things and to persist even when it’s difficult. If it’s worth it, you can persist and you can get through that difficult period to master whatever that skill is.

It might be the skill of just putting yourself out there and showing up and thinking of what is it that I can help people with, and then really connecting into “Okay, this is this thing I can help people with. Let me just get over myself for a second and show up for these people that need my help. How can I show up for them and be more concerned with them than I am of my own fears?”

That’s a simple mindset strategy that I learned from my friend Taki Moore, who is a fabulous business coach, doesn’t do mindset, but had this fabulous mindset reframe.

He said, “I don’t care about my own fears and my own thoughts of limitations. I care about the client and the results that I can get for them, and caring more about them and what they need, and what I can give to them and offer them, than my own fears and beliefs or whatever.”

It’s really useful to just take action and get out there and do what needs to be done.

So, what are you going to do?

When you need to do what needs to be done to shift yourself into action, what do you need to do?

Go and do it.

Let me know in the comments below.

Tell me what is something you have mastered that you could help others with and are building your confidence to get out there and go offer it to the world.

Let me know.

Kylie x

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