Is your obsession with being skinnier keeping you fat?

Is your obsession with being skinnier keeping you fat?
by Kylie Ryan /

Are you a little bit obsessed with being slim? Do you stare at and covet those pictures of bikini models and skinny celebrities? Can’t stop yourself buying the magazine with the latest diet slim down?

Society is obsessed with getting skinny. “During 2012-13, Australians will spend $827.1 million on counselling services, low-calorie foods and shakes, diet cookbooks, weight loss guides, dietary supplements and even surgery in their quest to slim down.” – IBIS world. In spite of this, over half of Australians are overweight or obese, and the statistics in the rest of the world are just as alarming…

Obviously we’re doing something wrong. Could this obsession with looking skinny be keeping us fat? I think it is.  As I’ve talked about before the obsessive, judgemental, perfectionistic, all or nothing kind of thinking is a big part of the problem.

Too much focus on the symptoms.

I think we’re focusing too much on the symptoms and not enough on the cause. Being overweight is a symptom of eating poorly, overeating and under-exercising, but it doesn’t stop there. That’s not the cause. Eating poorly and under-exercising are symptoms of poor and disempowering thoughts and habitual emotional states, which are symptoms of low self worth and self-judgement.

If we work on these core causal issues then the rest of the situation changes automatically. A big leverage point to shift your self-worth is comparison and judgement. What we perceive in others is a projection of ourselves, so when we judge and put down others we are only judging and putting down ourselves.

Skinnier = better??

There’s an underlying social meme that skinnier is better. It’s hard not to buy into this, we’re bombarded with it every day, through celebrity paparazzi culture, constant advertising but it only fuels our judgement and self-loathing.

 

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Judgy judgy.

Humans are born with comparison and judgement built in, it’s a part of  our biological drive to find the most ideal mate. There is a link between facial symmetry and waist to hip ratio and  favourable reproductive health. We can’t help our judgement. We size up a person based on their looks within seconds, we make all sorts of assumptions about their character and personality based on how they look, act and dress. Magazines play on this judgement with their critical nastiness of any celebrity each and every time they lose weight, or gain weight or have a pimple, or get caught without make up (gasp!). It’s so easy to be judgemental and and nasty silently in our heads.

If you’re constantly comparing yourself to others, you can always find a way to put yourself or someone else down. There will always be someone prettier, skinnier, sexier, more stylish than you, just as you are prettier, skinnier, sexier, more stylish than someone else. External validation is a harsh mistress. One moment you’re feeling great, the next you’re not.  Instead of allowing your thoughts to run away with things like: “oh she’s got great hair, shame about her skin.” or “she definitely should not be wearing leggings as pants. look at that cellulite!” stop yourself and instead think about just sending that person some unconditional love.

Send unconditional love…

Yep. It feels awesome and quickly breaks the habit of focusing on the surface stuff. There is a person in there. A person with thoughts and feelings of her own. You don’t know anything about the life she’s lived, or what has lead her to look the way she does. Thinner is not necessarily better, larger is not necessarily worse. Let go of comparison, everyone is wonderfully unique and beautiful in their own way. Just send some love. I like to imagine a white light pouring into them from above, filling them up and making them shine and glow.

Doing this will allow your own heart to open up and focus on unconditional love. Sometimes people find it difficult to unconditionally love themselves, however if we teach ourselves to unconditionally love others it will reflect back to ourselves anyway. It feels really good and will help you vibrate your way to self-love, which will help you to be more accepting of yourself and subsequently choose to nourish yourself with good food and exercise and (viola!) find your own ideal weight and shape…

Comments (8)

  1. you have an uncanny way of always knowing what's going on in mymind!

    • haha Bianca! It’s my psychic powers! 😉

    • haha Bianca! It’s my psychic powers! 😉

  2. Needed to see this and funny how we see things when we are meant to. I’m having so many problems with my weight. No one can work out why and it’s quite depressing 🙁 I have one small slip up and it’s the end of the world. I just keep thinking I’ll never get there with all of my modelling goals 🙁

    • Oh no Peta! this is classic discounting… How are you not acknowledging and celebrating ALL of your massive achievements? It’s ok to strive, and we also need to look back and celebrate and be grateful for what we’ve already achieved.

    • Ps – you are so far from fat it’s not even funny! You are absolutely STUNNING!! I love all of your portfolio. x

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