Society is obsessed with getting skinny. “During 2012-13, Australians will spend $827.1 million on counselling services, low-calorie foods and shakes, diet cookbooks, weight loss guides, dietary supplements and even surgery in their quest to slim down.” – IBIS world. In spite of this, over half of Australians are overweight or obese, and the statistics in the rest of the world are just as alarming…
Obviously we’re doing something wrong. Could this obsession with looking skinny be keeping us fat? I think it is. As I’ve talked about before the obsessive, judgemental, perfectionistic, all or nothing kind of thinking is a big part of the problem.
I think we’re focusing too much on the symptoms and not enough on the cause. Being overweight is a symptom of eating poorly, overeating and under-exercising, but it doesn’t stop there. That’s not the cause. Eating poorly and under-exercising are symptoms of poor and disempowering thoughts and habitual emotional states, which are symptoms of low self worth and self-judgement.
If we work on these core causal issues then the rest of the situation changes automatically. A big leverage point to shift your self-worth is comparison and judgement. What we perceive in others is a projection of ourselves, so when we judge and put down others we are only judging and putting down ourselves.
There’s an underlying social meme that skinnier is better. It’s hard not to buy into this, we’re bombarded with it every day, through celebrity paparazzi culture, constant advertising but it only fuels our judgement and self-loathing.
Humans are born with comparison and judgement built in, it’s a part of our biological drive to find the most ideal mate. There is a link between facial symmetry and waist to hip ratio and favourable reproductive health. We can’t help our judgement. We size up a person based on their looks within seconds, we make all sorts of assumptions about their character and personality based on how they look, act and dress. Magazines play on this judgement with their critical nastiness of any celebrity each and every time they lose weight, or gain weight or have a pimple, or get caught without make up (gasp!). It’s so easy to be judgemental and and nasty silently in our heads.
If you’re constantly comparing yourself to others, you can always find a way to put yourself or someone else down. There will always be someone prettier, skinnier, sexier, more stylish than you, just as you are prettier, skinnier, sexier, more stylish than someone else. External validation is a harsh mistress. One moment you’re feeling great, the next you’re not. Instead of allowing your thoughts to run away with things like: “oh she’s got great hair, shame about her skin.” or “she definitely should not be wearing leggings as pants. look at that cellulite!” stop yourself and instead think about just sending that person some unconditional love.
Yep. It feels awesome and quickly breaks the habit of focusing on the surface stuff. There is a person in there. A person with thoughts and feelings of her own. You don’t know anything about the life she’s lived, or what has lead her to look the way she does. Thinner is not necessarily better, larger is not necessarily worse. Let go of comparison, everyone is wonderfully unique and beautiful in their own way. Just send some love. I like to imagine a white light pouring into them from above, filling them up and making them shine and glow.
Doing this will allow your own heart to open up and focus on unconditional love. Sometimes people find it difficult to unconditionally love themselves, however if we teach ourselves to unconditionally love others it will reflect back to ourselves anyway. It feels really good and will help you vibrate your way to self-love, which will help you to be more accepting of yourself and subsequently choose to nourish yourself with good food and exercise and (viola!) find your own ideal weight and shape…
“Having ongoing training is essential for our team and our business. It’s important to look after the people that look after others. Kylie has the experience, professionalism and knowledge to engage with our team and help them understand about human behaviour and why people do what they do. In the wellness and health industry it’s a different sales and service delivery and it’s imperative to keep on top of these understandings to perform at our best to help others. We couldn’t recommend Kylie high enough.”
“I have worked with Kylie over many years. She has helped me as a Business Mindset Coach, as a motivational speaker for my gym clients at both Vision Personal Training & now at Flow Athletic. I bring her in to train my Personal Training teams in mindset, communication and how to coach our clients better and excel in our own personal mastery as fitness leaders. At my recent Fitness Business event, my gym owner colleagues were blown away by her talk, saying she is the best speaker they have ever seen. After every event we always get rave reviews about her talks and training. I highly recommend Kylie’s work as a coach & speaker.”
“I finished the Spiritual Awakening Course yesterday and I found it truly amazing. An incredible next step after our coach training. I feel so much more enlightened and “opened-up”. It has really opened my eyes to the power of the universe and the energy flowing in each of us. I loved it – thank you.
I am feeling so lucky at the moment. So many things are just falling into my lap. I visualise it and set my intention to manifest it and it comes. Things such as getting more clients, needing help to put my business online, not knowing how to get known in my local community etc. Courses / insights / clients have just fallen into my lap at the right time.”
Of course I am still learning and growing, but the course has really helped. Thank you”
“Before I met Kylie I was feeling very lost working full time in law in Sydney CBD. I’ve known my whole life that I was here to help people, but I just didn’t know exactly how. So when I found Kylie, it just was really fitting that it was going to help me ground my magic. I started the coach training and had an amazing time. It was beautiful to go through the process of having a mentor that had that spiritual element and that holistic element, as well as the very grounded science-based knowledge as well. So that really helped me to conjure that for myself.
I started my business before I even finished the course. I just started putting myself out there. And now I’ve gotten it to a point where I’ve got really grounded solid message, and two years later am running a multi-6 figure coaching business as a leading pioneer in my niche, helping clients all over the world.”
“Before I signed up with Kylie I had a busy PT business… I was exhausted and on the brink of burnout and no matter how hard I tried, I had reached a ceiling in my income that I just couldn’t break through. After completing my NLP Coaching certification, I found my true voice and the energy of my business has been completely transformed. I’ve created an online program, up-levelled my entire business and totally smashed my previous income goals. I make decisions more confidently and I can help my clients create change in their life even faster. On a personal level, NLP gave me the inner strength to leave a toxic situation and rebuild myself which lead to me discovering the love of my life! Today I am living the life that I’ve always wanted – but just hadn’t been able to put into words. I have never been this happy or this powerful. If you want to manifest the life of your dreams I would not hesitate to reach out for help from Kylie.”
Before attaining my NLP Coach certification, I was an online trainer who was getting excellent results for “some” of my clients. I used a mixture of experience, intuition and an exhausting “helicopter-parent” style of accountability coaching. It was like the 20% of the clients who weren’t getting good results took up 80% of my effort, and it was draining my passion for my business. Completing my Certification with Kylie has been the best decision of my career. The very next month after finishing I created a new program and made $30,000 in new sales. I now have a repeatable system to coach my clients and I can get them both immediate AND long-lasting change, sometimes in less than 40 minutes. In the past 12 months, I have doubled my freedom and fulfilment in my business I have created raving clients who snap up my offers.”
I signed up with Kylie because I knew that to have a bigger effect as a PT I needed to improve my understanding of how the mind works. Through NLP Coach training I now have great coaching techniques that break through all sorts of negative behaviour patterns. I’ve noticed big improvements in all areas of my life including my own personal finances and my client retention. This has allowed me new freedom to work on scaling my business and helping even more people with less one on one time from myself. The coach training has given me the ability to fully unlock the power of your mindset and those that don’t have this skill are only tapping into a small amount of their potential.
This morning I had a kick-ass coaching session with Kylie Ryan. We’ve been working together for a couple of months, and she’s the perfect person to help me integrate the rapid transformations I go through regularly. I’d been getting this vision of my fully mature creative and entrepreneurial self. His discipline, commitment, and command of wealth was 10x what mine is now, but it wasn’t really about money for him. Our coaching sessions usually roll with me saying, “Kylie, I want to be, do, and have EVERYTHING” and Kylie helping me find the archetypes and parts that aren’t integrated and bringing them together. MAGICK HAPPENS EVERY TIME.