Lead with your Legacy – Part 1 of 4

How to Overcome the 3 Most Common Leadership Mistakes


Is there a change you’d like to make in your life or in your organization?

Change is simply a fact of life. From the first breath we take to the moment we take our very last, we are constantly changing inside and out. And as a global society change is rapidly accelerating. Those of us who can master change and who can not only master change within ourselves but also have the skill set to lead sustainable, lasting change in others will become the leaders of the future.

In order to understand change, we need to deeply understand the human psyche and how we can facilitate change that lasts.

Hi, my name is Kylie Ryan and I’m a Mindset Master Coach and NLP Trainer. Today I’m going to teach you 3 NLP models that I’ve been using for over 14 years to create sustainable, lasting transformation.

Change is an essential part of life.

You’re here because you’re already really good at change. Whether you’re working in management, in leadership, consulting, or running your own business (or even as a parent, teacher or professional coach) you understand that change and sustainable change is an essential part of life – and you’re already really good at it.

But it’s not quite enough for you to be just good at it; you want to be a master of change. And you’re in the right place.

Most people go about change in a way that only leverages a very small percentage of the potential for change that exists, and so I’m going to teach you in this video series today about some core models from Neuro-Linguistic Programming that will deepen your understanding of creating a holistic, sustainable and lasting change for yourself and for your clients.

I bet that even though you’re got a lot of really great success under your belt, you yourself are looking for more and deeper mastery. You inherently understand that there is a limit to the amount of change that you can facilitate with your current skill set. And so what we’re going to learn today will deepen your skill set and understanding and allow you to begin facilitating deeper changes from today by watching this entire video series.

Present State

In order to understand change, first we need the clarity of the change that we desire.

Now in order to create change, you need to know where you are and where you want to get to. Just like your GPS, it needs to be able to track where you are right now and have the exact coordinates of where you want to get to to plot a route to get there.

In just the same way, if we want to create change in an individual or an organization, we need to understand deeply where you are now (what in NLP we call your present state) and where you want to get to (what is the desired state).

Notice that we use the word ‘state’ rather than results or outcome. Because often times people get really hung up on the specifics of the outcome, for tangible things, and forget to take into account the internal change that must happen for the change to be sustainable.

From present state to desired state, we need to have clarity of where we are now.
What is the present environment?
What’s the present behavior?
What’s the present feeling?
What’s the present morale?
What are the present beliefs, identities and values that exists to create this current situation?
What are the present things that you’re aware of and also the things that you’re unaware of? The problems that you’re aware of and the problems that you’re unaware of?

Desired State

In the same way, we need to have a clear outcome, a clear pathway of what we want to create. We can’t create change without a framework for the outcome that we’re desiring to create.

Whenever anything is created, it’s created twice. First, in the mind as a blueprint or mental model; and next, it goes through the system to create a physical manifestation of results. In order to build a house, you need a blueprint. You need a plan of where you want to get to and what the finished product is going to look like so that you can create that change. We need to know the outcome of where you want to get to.

What is it that you want to look like and feel like and sounds like?
What do you want to be believing in yourself?
What do you want the organization to be like intrinsically for it to last?
What is the desired state?

A state in NLP is the combination of a physiology and a mental map, a mental internal model. It’s a feeling, but it’s a feeling that is based on physiology and the internal mapping. And, again, this can happen at an individual or an organizational or a team level. When there’s a team involved then it’s about aligning all of the individuals with that overall team value or that overall team outcome.

What are we seeing, hearing and feeling now?

We’ve got to have a clarity of change. Where are we now? What are we seeing, hearing and feeling now? In NLP we call that VAK – visual, auditory and kinesthetic. What are we seeing, hearing and feeling now? And what do we desire to hear and feel in order to know that that change has been accomplished?

So often, people (perfectionists) tend to set a goal for themselves, but as they get closer to the goal, they just push the goal out further and further and further, continuing to strive but demoralizing themselves along the way. This is a common problem with high-achievers, where they’re constantly striving but never actually getting that feeling of having achieved what they want to achieve.

You need to set a clear end point. What is the desired state that you’d like to achieve? So that when you get there you can go, “Yes, I’ve got it! This is the change that we wanted to create,” and celebrate that change. And then — and only then — look to “Okay, well, now this is our present state, where do we want to go to from here?”

This is a critical mistake that a lot of people make when creating change. They don’t get themselves or the people that they’re in charge of (their team or their clients) enough time to celebrate the changes that they have made already, which will bolster their motivation and also their self-esteem and worthiness that they are capable of change.

So we need to have clarity on where we are now and where we want to get to.


And then we also need to have clarity on what is getting in the way. What are the interferences that have been stopping us from getting to this desired state? What are the internal and external obstacles that have stopped you from getting to this state already?

A lot of people have a clear goal that they may have set for themselves year after year or month after month, and they struggle to achieve it because there are obstacles in the way. And these can often be seen as excuses, but it goes deeper than that – because we need to honor that there are obstacles that exist in the world. And how are we going to deal with them?

Instead of thinking of them as excuses, we like to think of them interferences. When you have interferences that are getting in the way of you or your organization getting from your present state to your desired state, we need to do a few things. We need to remove the interferences or strategize around them, and we also need to add in or uncover extra resources.

Often times in this present state, there will be hidden resourcefulness within the person desiring to make the change that have not yet been realized. And in overcoming this interference and getting to their desired state, it is an intrinsic desire for them to unleash and demonstrate that resourcefulness to the world.

People want to show their greatness. People want to be doing something that is meaningful. And so when they have the ability to unleash more of themselves, to unleash more of their greatness, then that individual can be intrinsically desirous of change.

When we create this internal intrinsic desire to create this desired state then we have a change that is self-motivated. It is something that the person or the team wants to create themselves because it is bringing out of them a resourcefulness that helps them to feel really good about themselves. And who doesn’t want to feel good?

Human beings want to have more pleasure in their lives and less pain.

Human beings want to have more pleasure in their lives and less pain. People want to have a team or a working environment that feels good, where they are celebrated, where they are counted as worthy, where their desires and their hopes and dreams and honored and encouraged.

And when you can align the desired state of that change with a person’s intrinsic hopes and dreams and values, then that change becomes an internal drive that the person wants to achieve for themselves and the organization.

In the next video, we’re going to go deeply into the neurological levels of change, and I’m going to share with you how most people are currently at the wrong level to create sustainable and lasting transformation.

But for now let me know in the comments below… What did you get out of this video? What did you get out of it for your personal understanding of change within yourself and the changes that you’d like to make in your life? And how can you apply that within your professional context?

This comes down to 4 key questions:

– Where are you now?
– Where do you want to go?
– What’s getting in the way?
– What do you need to become or uncover in order to get there?

Four main questions that will help you to have clarity of change so that you can facilitate change that lasts.