Last week I was told I was “having a stress reaction” and I needed to “lower my standards” by my GP. While this sounds like a negative comment, it was very useful for me and made me think. When I visited last week with an extremely sore throat, after presenting my 3 day transformational event, (which I love doing). He asked me if I was stressed, I said “No, I’m not stressed. A little tired, and I have been very focused with a lot on my plate, but I’m not stressed.” I simply don’t consider myself to be a person that gets stressed and so it wasn’t an option, but the signs were there. My body was telling me to slow down a little.
My GP was lovely and questioned me thoroughly, said he was not going to give me any antibiotics because I didn’t need them, and all I had to do was lower my standards. Ah. Just that.
You see as an imperfect recovering perfectionist, I still have very high standards for myself. I thrive on excellence. So his feedback was intuitively just what I needed to hear. Blunt and straightforward. Let a few things slide.
So I have and I’m pleased to say my throat recovered nicely after my second presentation in Melbourne, I could feel the tightness release on my way to the airport to go home. So he was right, I was a bit stressed after all.
It got me thinking how many of us have impossibly high standards for ourselves. Often as mothers and wives, career professionals or entrepreneurs, daughters and sisters, we have a lot going on. I decided to lower my standards of finishing on time for two professional courses I am doing, and get a cleaner for my house again, and to put my beautiful daughter Ruby into daycare two days (something I had been resisting) so I don’t have to try and fit all my work in around her sleep time. And get an assistant for my business media & PR. It feels good. Achievable. Now I can focus on doing what I am best at and where my time in my business is most profitable and spend my time with Ruby focused and present, instead of trying to do write or call people with her crawling up my leg.
When you try to fit everything in, and do it all yourself, your health invariably suffers, as does everything else. Even though I thought I was being super-mum and had it all together, my body was telling me something different. So in order for that to change, I needed more than just a few days off to rest, I needed long term extra help to manage it all. I do need to mention also that my husband is an incredible support and help, but even between the two of us, we couldn’t keep up. My throat was tight and painful because I wasn’t asking for extra help when I needed it. I had bitten off more than I could chew and certainly more than I could swallow!
I’m sharing this with you, because I wonder where in your life you might do this too? Could you please give yourself permission to lower your standards a little? Is there someone in your family you could delegate and share some tasks with?
Is there some area you could delegate or outsource to another professional? Yes it costs money to do this, however often your time is best spent in other areas of your life. Isn’t it worth spending $30 an hour for someone to do your cleaning or ironing so you can earn that and then more in your business, or creating a side-business if you are employed, or just spending priceless focused time with your children? It is a big paradigm shift, and many will say they can’t afford it, or that they feel “precious” paying someone else to do jobs they could do. I like to think of it as getting the right person for the right job and keeping the money flowing in the economy, when I give someone a job I don’t need to do, I am helping them out, and they are helping me out. Win: win.
Do you feel stressed or tired from juggling “it all”?
Where do you need to lower your standards or ask for help?
“Having ongoing training is essential for our team and our business. It’s important to look after the people that look after others. Kylie has the experience, professionalism and knowledge to engage with our team and help them understand about human behaviour and why people do what they do. In the wellness and health industry it’s a different sales and service delivery and it’s imperative to keep on top of these understandings to perform at our best to help others. We couldn’t recommend Kylie high enough.”
“I have worked with Kylie over many years. She has helped me as a Business Mindset Coach, as a motivational speaker for my gym clients at both Vision Personal Training & now at Flow Athletic. I bring her in to train my Personal Training teams in mindset, communication and how to coach our clients better and excel in our own personal mastery as fitness leaders. At my recent Fitness Business event, my gym owner colleagues were blown away by her talk, saying she is the best speaker they have ever seen. After every event we always get rave reviews about her talks and training. I highly recommend Kylie’s work as a coach & speaker.”
“I finished the Spiritual Awakening Course yesterday and I found it truly amazing. An incredible next step after our coach training. I feel so much more enlightened and “opened-up”. It has really opened my eyes to the power of the universe and the energy flowing in each of us. I loved it – thank you.
I am feeling so lucky at the moment. So many things are just falling into my lap. I visualise it and set my intention to manifest it and it comes. Things such as getting more clients, needing help to put my business online, not knowing how to get known in my local community etc. Courses / insights / clients have just fallen into my lap at the right time.”
Of course I am still learning and growing, but the course has really helped. Thank you”
“Before I met Kylie I was feeling very lost working full time in law in Sydney CBD. I’ve known my whole life that I was here to help people, but I just didn’t know exactly how. So when I found Kylie, it just was really fitting that it was going to help me ground my magic. I started the coach training and had an amazing time. It was beautiful to go through the process of having a mentor that had that spiritual element and that holistic element, as well as the very grounded science-based knowledge as well. So that really helped me to conjure that for myself.
I started my business before I even finished the course. I just started putting myself out there. And now I’ve gotten it to a point where I’ve got really grounded solid message, and two years later am running a multi-6 figure coaching business as a leading pioneer in my niche, helping clients all over the world.”
“Before I signed up with Kylie I had a busy PT business… I was exhausted and on the brink of burnout and no matter how hard I tried, I had reached a ceiling in my income that I just couldn’t break through. After completing my NLP Coaching certification, I found my true voice and the energy of my business has been completely transformed. I’ve created an online program, up-levelled my entire business and totally smashed my previous income goals. I make decisions more confidently and I can help my clients create change in their life even faster. On a personal level, NLP gave me the inner strength to leave a toxic situation and rebuild myself which lead to me discovering the love of my life! Today I am living the life that I’ve always wanted – but just hadn’t been able to put into words. I have never been this happy or this powerful. If you want to manifest the life of your dreams I would not hesitate to reach out for help from Kylie.”
Before attaining my NLP Coach certification, I was an online trainer who was getting excellent results for “some” of my clients. I used a mixture of experience, intuition and an exhausting “helicopter-parent” style of accountability coaching. It was like the 20% of the clients who weren’t getting good results took up 80% of my effort, and it was draining my passion for my business. Completing my Certification with Kylie has been the best decision of my career. The very next month after finishing I created a new program and made $30,000 in new sales. I now have a repeatable system to coach my clients and I can get them both immediate AND long-lasting change, sometimes in less than 40 minutes. In the past 12 months, I have doubled my freedom and fulfilment in my business I have created raving clients who snap up my offers.”
I signed up with Kylie because I knew that to have a bigger effect as a PT I needed to improve my understanding of how the mind works. Through NLP Coach training I now have great coaching techniques that break through all sorts of negative behaviour patterns. I’ve noticed big improvements in all areas of my life including my own personal finances and my client retention. This has allowed me new freedom to work on scaling my business and helping even more people with less one on one time from myself. The coach training has given me the ability to fully unlock the power of your mindset and those that don’t have this skill are only tapping into a small amount of their potential.
This morning I had a kick-ass coaching session with Kylie Ryan. We’ve been working together for a couple of months, and she’s the perfect person to help me integrate the rapid transformations I go through regularly. I’d been getting this vision of my fully mature creative and entrepreneurial self. His discipline, commitment, and command of wealth was 10x what mine is now, but it wasn’t really about money for him. Our coaching sessions usually roll with me saying, “Kylie, I want to be, do, and have EVERYTHING” and Kylie helping me find the archetypes and parts that aren’t integrated and bringing them together. MAGICK HAPPENS EVERY TIME.