Your emotional states are a key factor in your success. The state of defeat is (obviously) not a state that will lead to success.
The state of defeat occurs when you have accepted that all hope is lost. When you feel like you have tried “everything”, and “nothing has worked”. You may notice yourself sighing, or with slumped shoulders when you think about your weight and body shape. Thinking about your body and lack of results may make you sad, depressed, tired, weak and helpless. You may even have begin rationalising and telling yourself that you didn’t really want it in the first place; that skinny people are mean, bitchy and picky and you’re happy being overweight, fun, and proud of it. (If you are overweight and genuinely happy, I am happy for you!)
The rationalisation is a coping mechanism, to help you get on with life. It is also a lie. It is a lie you tell yourself so you don’t have to face the distress of trying and failing again.
The good news is what has lead to you feeling defeated are a bunch of thoughts that are also lies, or distortions. You have not tried everything. You have probably tried about 3 to 10 things. And you can’t say for certain that nothing works, because there are thousands of success stories that prove the opposite.
To start with you need to shift that mindset of defeat. You have allowed yourself to be put down for too long, (by yourself and others) Anything worth having is worth fighting for. If you really want this you’re going to need to get tough with your own mindset, and absolutely not accept those thoughts:
You already have hundreds of examples of how you can make healthy choices, how you have succeeded, how you have persevered when it was really difficult. If you are reading this, you have already learned how to walk, talk, and read. Do you think you gave up after 10 tries when you first attempted to walk as a baby? Did you give up when you fell down time and time again? You kept going and you succeeded. You already have within you the resources you need to succeed at this too. It’s not your body that needs the work, it’s your mind.
I want you to find that internal fire within, the fire that says “No I will not stand for this, one moment longer!” When you hear yourself thinking “I can’t do it. It’s for other people” and get the sad and defeated feeling, I want to you call on your internal vigour and resources and say to yourself “No. That’s not right. I CAN DO IT! I’m going to EARN this.”
You earn it by being disciplined with yourself, but a discipline that comes from self-love rather than punishment. a discipline that says “I CAN, Dammit!” Find your inner warrior and stand up for yourself. Fight for your happiness and peace of mind. No-one’s going to give it to you on a platter.
Shift yourself to the state of fire and vigour. Get frustrated with that old way of thinking, it’s been lying to you! Allow that frustration to build until you feel the fire of the desire for change inside. Imagine your own internal warrior princess giving you strength, courage and determination. Feel it flooding through your body.
Next, don’t try and change everything all at once. Pick one small, healthy habit you would like to install. Focus on that.
That may be something like:
Just one thing at a time. Keep doing that until it is so natural to you that you don’t have to think about it. Only then, go on to the next habit. When you focus on one easy habit you can build your self belief day by day.
No-one else can change your life but you! Fight for yourself!
YOU ARE WORTH IT!!! I believe in you. xx
“Having ongoing training is essential for our team and our business. It’s important to look after the people that look after others. Kylie has the experience, professionalism and knowledge to engage with our team and help them understand about human behaviour and why people do what they do. In the wellness and health industry it’s a different sales and service delivery and it’s imperative to keep on top of these understandings to perform at our best to help others. We couldn’t recommend Kylie high enough.”
I have worked with Kylie over many years. She has helped me as a Business Mindset Coach, as a motivational speaker for clients when I had my gyms with Vision and more recently at Flow Athletic. I bring her in to train my Personal Training teams in mindset, communication and how to coach our clients better and excel in our own personal mastery.
I highly recommend her work.