Your emotional states are a key factor in your success. The state of defeat is (obviously) not a state that will lead to success.
The state of defeat occurs when you have accepted that all hope is lost. When you feel like you have tried “everything”, and “nothing has worked”. You may notice yourself sighing, or with slumped shoulders when you think about your weight and body shape. Thinking about your body and lack of results may make you sad, depressed, tired, weak and helpless. You may even have begin rationalising and telling yourself that you didn’t really want it in the first place; that skinny people are mean, bitchy and picky and you’re happy being overweight, fun, and proud of it. (If you are overweight and genuinely happy, I am happy for you!)
The rationalisation is a coping mechanism, to help you get on with life. It is also a lie. It is a lie you tell yourself so you don’t have to face the distress of trying and failing again.
The good news is what has lead to you feeling defeated are a bunch of thoughts that are also lies, or distortions. You have not tried everything. You have probably tried about 3 to 10 things. And you can’t say for certain that nothing works, because there are thousands of success stories that prove the opposite.
To start with you need to shift that mindset of defeat. You have allowed yourself to be put down for too long, (by yourself and others) Anything worth having is worth fighting for. If you really want this you’re going to need to get tough with your own mindset, and absolutely not accept those thoughts:
You already have hundreds of examples of how you can make healthy choices, how you have succeeded, how you have persevered when it was really difficult. If you are reading this, you have already learned how to walk, talk, and read. Do you think you gave up after 10 tries when you first attempted to walk as a baby? Did you give up when you fell down time and time again? You kept going and you succeeded. You already have within you the resources you need to succeed at this too. It’s not your body that needs the work, it’s your mind.
I want you to find that internal fire within, the fire that says “No I will not stand for this, one moment longer!” When you hear yourself thinking “I can’t do it. It’s for other people” and get the sad and defeated feeling, I want to you call on your internal vigour and resources and say to yourself “No. That’s not right. I CAN DO IT! I’m going to EARN this.”
You earn it by being disciplined with yourself, but a discipline that comes from self-love rather than punishment. a discipline that says “I CAN, Dammit!” Find your inner warrior and stand up for yourself. Fight for your happiness and peace of mind. No-one’s going to give it to you on a platter.
Shift yourself to the state of fire and vigour. Get frustrated with that old way of thinking, it’s been lying to you! Allow that frustration to build until you feel the fire of the desire for change inside. Imagine your own internal warrior princess giving you strength, courage and determination. Feel it flooding through your body.
Next, don’t try and change everything all at once. Pick one small, healthy habit you would like to install. Focus on that.
That may be something like:
Just one thing at a time. Keep doing that until it is so natural to you that you don’t have to think about it. Only then, go on to the next habit. When you focus on one easy habit you can build your self belief day by day.
No-one else can change your life but you! Fight for yourself!
YOU ARE WORTH IT!!! I believe in you. xx
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“Before I signed up with Kylie I had a busy PT business… I was exhausted and on the brink of burnout and no matter how hard I tried, I had reached a ceiling in my income that I just couldn’t break through. After completing my NLP Coaching certification, I found my true voice and the energy of my business has been completely transformed. I’ve created an online program, up-levelled my entire business and totally smashed my previous income goals. I make decisions more confidently and I can help my clients create change in their life even faster. On a personal level, NLP gave me the inner strength to leave a toxic situation and rebuild myself which lead to me discovering the love of my life! Today I am living the life that I’ve always wanted – but just hadn’t been able to put into words. I have never been this happy or this powerful. If you want to manifest the life of your dreams I would not hesitate to reach out for help from Kylie.”
Before attaining my NLP Coach certification, I was an online trainer who was getting excellent results for “some” of my clients. I used a mixture of experience, intuition and an exhausting “helicopter-parent” style of accountability coaching. It was like the 20% of the clients who weren’t getting good results took up 80% of my effort, and it was draining my passion for my business. Completing my Certification with Kylie has been the best decision of my career. The very next month after finishing I created a new program and made $30,000 in new sales. I now have a repeatable system to coach my clients and I can get them both immediate AND long-lasting change, sometimes in less than 40 minutes. In the past 12 months, I have doubled my freedom and fulfilment in my business I have created raving clients who snap up my offers.”
I signed up with Kylie because I knew that to have a bigger effect as a PT I needed to improve my understanding of how the mind works. Through NLP Coach training I now have great coaching techniques that break through all sorts of negative behaviour patterns. I’ve noticed big improvements in all areas of my life including my own personal finances and my client retention. This has allowed me new freedom to work on scaling my business and helping even more people with less one on one time from myself. The coach training has given me the ability to fully unlock the power of your mindset and those that don’t have this skill are only tapping into a small amount of their potential.
This morning I had a kick-ass coaching session with Kylie Ryan. We’ve been working together for a couple of months, and she’s the perfect person to help me integrate the rapid transformations I go through regularly. I’d been getting this vision of my fully mature creative and entrepreneurial self. His discipline, commitment, and command of wealth was 10x what mine is now, but it wasn’t really about money for him. Our coaching sessions usually roll with me saying, “Kylie, I want to be, do, and have EVERYTHING” and Kylie helping me find the archetypes and parts that aren’t integrated and bringing them together. MAGICK HAPPENS EVERY TIME.