Resilience Quotient: How resilient are you?

Resilience Quotient: How resilient are you?

Why are some people able to easily bounce back and recover from life’s problems; from losing a job, to being hit by a natural disaster, while others break under the pressure and slide into emotional distress or Depression?

Your resilience refers to your ability to embrace challenges, stress or setbacks. Including the ability to perform under pressure and the ability to bounce back emotionally and psychologically.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
-Reinhold Niebuhr


Contrary to popular belief, resilience is not a trait that you either have or don’t have. Resilience is a skill that can be developed. It is the result of a set of beliefs and mental, emotional, physiological skills that create an ability to be resilient.

Someone who has developed strong resilience will be able to handle outside influences easily, without deviating from their own purpose. Often people who have naturally developed resilience will have experienced a challenge or setback during childhood and had to learn coping skills.

10 skills that enhance your ability to be resilient

  1. An ability to manage your emotional state, and maintain optimism through a long term perspective.
  2. An ability to accept things that cannot be changed.
  3. An ability to take responsibility for yourself and your own actions.
  4. An ability to focus under pressure and block out extraneous details.
  5. An ability to be organized and proactive.
  6. An ability to be present in your own body, even in uncomfortable situations.
  7. An ability to communicate effectively with others and be assertive.
  8. An ability to be socially connected.
  9. An ability to be flexible, open and adaptable.
  10. An ability to take a positive approach to problem solving. Ask “how can I…” instead of “why did this..?”

Everyone has these capacities in some situations, the key factor in resilient people that allows them to bring these abilities into play in stressful situations is an internal locus of control. Resilient people believe in their own ability to make change and be in charge of their lives. Less resilient people believe that outside influences are in control of their lives and are often concerned with what people think and like to please others. Regular exercise, relaxation and social interaction train the abilities that lead to resilience and allow you to move with life’s challenges rather than being blocked by them.


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Some beliefs that can enhance your ability to be resilient:

  • This too shall pass. It will not last forever.  It is just temporary.
  • I am in charge of my own emotions. I get to choose how this affects me.
  • Nature always maintains an equilibrium of support and challenge. When I am challenged I will also be supported.
  • Nothing can affect me without my permission.
  • I can learn from this.
  • I have the strength to overcome this.
  • I am growing and learning with every challenge.
  • I am the author of my life. I create my situation and circumstances.
  • I can take decisive action now.
  • I can make the best decisions possible based on the information I have now.
  • I can learn from my past.
  • Regardless of what happens, I will be ok.
  • Every problem is an opportunity in disguise.
  • I embrace challenges, and thrive on them.

Questions that create resilient thinking…

  • How can I learn from this?
  • How have I contributed to this situation?
  • Where am I currently being supported?
  • What are the facts?
  • Is there more I need to know in order to act positively?
  • How can I turn this into a win:win?
  • Do others need my support now? How can I support them?
  • How can I move forward from here? Where do I want to go?
  • How can I break this problem down into smaller steps?
  • What needs to be done next?

Join the conversation:

What is your experience of resilience or dealing with challenge in your life?

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