Do you sometimes let worry and self-doubt stop you from taking action and doing what you want to do?
If so, this video is for you.
If you find that your self-doubt and worry about who you are and if you’ve got something to contribute is stopping you from actually taking action — and you end up comparing yourself to other people, and feeling like you’re not good enough and you can’t do it, and stressing yourself out — then you’re actually going to put yourself into a state of stress, into a state of fight or flight.
A lot of people that have had maybe not the best experiences in school… maybe they weren’t super academic and felt stressed… like when a question came to them they would be like a deer in headlights and they don’t know what to say… a lot of people that have had experiences like this where they felt underprepared, or like they were being judged against other people who have a different set of skills in that context, can often end up feeling like they’re unworthy, or that they’re dumb, or that they don’t have anything of value to offer, and comparing themselves to other people.
You know that feeling like “I’m not good enough” and “Who would listen to me?” and “I don’t have anything of value to offer”? When you’re starting to think like that then that’s not a very useful story to be telling yourself.
Remember that everybody is unique.
And so, instead of worrying about how you compare to other people or if you’ve got anything useful to say — if you’re worrying about that kind of stuff — remember that everybody is unique and everybody has a different way of processing things in their brain. Some people think in pictures, some people think in feelings, some people think in physical feelings, and some people hear things in their mind.
Different people process things in different ways, so not everyone is not going to be the first to come up with the quickest answer in that situation.
If you feel worried and you’re comparing yourself to other people who have a different way of processing information, then you’re going to be up against it – because you’re comparing yourself to people that have a different skill set and a different way of doing things.
But instead of feeling like your way isn’t good enough, I’d encourage you to think about how your unique gifts can contribute to the whole.
We’ve all got different gifts for a reason.
Not everyone is going to be up the front teaching the class. Not everyone is going to be in the kitchen cooking up a storm. Not everyone is going to be at the front of the marathon line.
We each have our own unique and special gifts to bring.
There’s some really amazing stuff that I’ve been researching that actually points to the fact that your unique genetic makeup is actually something that will help you on your purpose. Your unique way of doing things is something that potentially your soul has decided to come in through so that it can help you to fulfill your purpose.
So that person that is up the front teaching the class, that’s talking all the time, that’s their purpose, to do that kind of thing. They will have their special gifts to do that kind of thing. Someone who is more of a nurturer, they will have more of the gifts to really nurture other people. Maybe they’re an amazing cook or they’re really good about thinking about other people’s feelings and coming up with really wonderful things that they can share with that person.
So, each of us has our own unique and special gifts. I just wanted to remind you of that today.
And if ever there’s a time when you start to doubt yourself or compare your gifts to others and go, “Oh, I wish…” You know like we do with our hair? “I wish I had curly hair, I wish I had straight hair, I wish I had her gifts, my gifts are no good…” If ever you’re comparing yourself like that, I want you to stop it, please – because like Albert Einstein says, “You can’t judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree.”
“You can’t judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree.”
– Albert Einstein
If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it’s going to spend its whole life thinking that it’s stupid and it’s dumb and it’s not good enough.
So if you’re putting yourself in a context where you’re comparing yourself to other people and going, “Oh, I’m not as good as so and so,” remember that you have special gifts, you have special talents that that other person doesn’t have. You have special uniqueness that that other person doesn’t have. And instead of trying to be like someone else, how can you be more of yourself? How can you be more of yourself and realize that what you bring to the table is equally as worthy as what someone else brings to the table?
Remember that you have gifts that are equally as important as anybody else.
Instead of thinking and feeling like you’re less than, which makes you hide and shrink and not bring your gifts to the table, instead of saying “Am I as good as that person?” ask yourself: How can I contribute to this? How can I contribute to this situation? How can I bring more of myself into this situation that’s going to serve the whole, that’s going to serve the collective, and help me to feel really good about myself as well?
Ask yourself: How can I contribute to this?
So, I would encourage you to consider that. Whether you’re in a work situation or with your family or on holidays or on the bus, how can you bring more of yourself into the situation to create a positive experience for everybody?
That will help you to feel good about yourself – and it will create this positive feedback loop where you realize that you have competencies. And the more that you excel in your own gifts, the more competent you will be, which will fulfill and reinforce your confidence.
People that have low confidence are often because they’re not competent at a certain thing, and so they end up feeling like they’re no good because they’re not competent at that particular thing. But they might be just like a fish trying to climb a tree.
You need to think about what are your special gifts and get really good at that. Master your special gifts and let the other people master their special gifts – and realize that we’re all unique.
We all have a different fingerprint, we all have a different genetic makeup, we all have a different upbringing, we all have different strengths and gifts, we all have different challenges and insecurities, and that everybody has those things.
Think about the things that you’re really good at.
Your insecurities are yours and other people’s insecurities are theirs. But if you focus on the things you’re insecure about, you’re going to get more of that self-doubt monster. Instead, think about the things that you’re really good at. Focus on the things that you’re competent at and build your confidence.
The more you realize that you can do things, then your competence can start to grow – and your confidence can start to grow to try new things as well.
That’s my tip for today. I hope it served you. Lots of love, guys! I’ll speak to you soon!!