Are girls having sex too soon when dating? You might have heard or seen that many girls are having sex younger and younger, and quite a lot of those experiences are flings or one night stands. Now I don’t have a problem with a self confident young woman having mutually consensual sex, however I think that sex too soon or for the wrong reasons can undermine self-esteem and it needs to be discussed openly with Gen Y girls and women.
There is a lot of anecdotal evidence, and a few scientific studies that show that adult women tend to be dissatisfied after first night sex and regretted it. 58% of women surveyed said that they would not do it again. Men were generally happy with the sex, 80% were anyway, but said that they would lose some respect for the woman and might wonder if she would do this with anyone.
So why are girls doing this? There is some scientific research saying that women are more likely to have one night stands during the ovulation phase of their cycle. Those damn hormones!
Some girls sleep with the guy because they feel like they were flirting and don’t want to be seen as a tease, or they just can’t say no. Saying no is ok. You have permission to decide who does and does not enter your personal space. Flirting does not mean that you are promising to have sex. It means you are flirting. Some men will push for sex if they think they can get it. These are not the sort of men you want to have in your life anyway. If he’s pushing and you’re on the first or second date. Say no and get out of there!
Some girls confuse sex with intimacy, caring or love; and are then shocked and disheartened to find that in some cases the guy does not seem so interested in them after sex as before. Not all guys are like this, but young guys do have crazy hormones and don’t think so straight sometimes, and many will push for sex if they think they can get it.
You are the creator of your own boundaries, if you are not sure of them, then you will get tested and pushed. You are allowed to say no. You are allowed to say now when a part of you wants to and another part is uncomfortable.
When you first meet someone you set the standards for how they treat you. If you don’t treat yourself with respect, the other person won’t either. So set the standard high and don’t give in to those lusty hormones. Get to know the person and find out if you want to be intimate with them. When you do this then you create a stage of self-respect and honesty. I would even say up front that you are not going to sleep with them for the first month (minimum if you want a long-term relationship) so that they know where they stand.
Your sexuality is a gift and should not be sold cheaply. When you do wait and meet a man or a woman who respects you and treats you with gentleness and care, and you have known them for long enough to feel like you are ready, then go right ahead and enjoy sex.
“Having ongoing training is essential for our team and our business. It’s important to look after the people that look after others. Kylie has the experience, professionalism and knowledge to engage with our team and help them understand about human behaviour and why people do what they do. In the wellness and health industry it’s a different sales and service delivery and it’s imperative to keep on top of these understandings to perform at our best to help others. We couldn’t recommend Kylie high enough.”
“I have worked with Kylie over many years. She has helped me as a Business Mindset Coach, as a motivational speaker for my gym clients at both Vision Personal Training & now at Flow Athletic. I bring her in to train my Personal Training teams in mindset, communication and how to coach our clients better and excel in our own personal mastery as fitness leaders. At my recent Fitness Business event, my gym owner colleagues were blown away by her talk, saying she is the best speaker they have ever seen. After every event we always get rave reviews about her talks and training. I highly recommend Kylie’s work as a coach & speaker.”
“I finished the Spiritual Awakening Course yesterday and I found it truly amazing. An incredible next step after our coach training. I feel so much more enlightened and “opened-up”. It has really opened my eyes to the power of the universe and the energy flowing in each of us. I loved it – thank you.
I am feeling so lucky at the moment. So many things are just falling into my lap. I visualise it and set my intention to manifest it and it comes. Things such as getting more clients, needing help to put my business online, not knowing how to get known in my local community etc. Courses / insights / clients have just fallen into my lap at the right time.”
Of course I am still learning and growing, but the course has really helped. Thank you”
“Before I met Kylie I was feeling very lost working full time in law in Sydney CBD. I’ve known my whole life that I was here to help people, but I just didn’t know exactly how. So when I found Kylie, it just was really fitting that it was going to help me ground my magic. I started the coach training and had an amazing time. It was beautiful to go through the process of having a mentor that had that spiritual element and that holistic element, as well as the very grounded science-based knowledge as well. So that really helped me to conjure that for myself.
I started my business before I even finished the course. I just started putting myself out there. And now I’ve gotten it to a point where I’ve got really grounded solid message, and two years later am running a multi-6 figure coaching business as a leading pioneer in my niche, helping clients all over the world.”
“Before I signed up with Kylie I had a busy PT business… I was exhausted and on the brink of burnout and no matter how hard I tried, I had reached a ceiling in my income that I just couldn’t break through. After completing my NLP Coaching certification, I found my true voice and the energy of my business has been completely transformed. I’ve created an online program, up-levelled my entire business and totally smashed my previous income goals. I make decisions more confidently and I can help my clients create change in their life even faster. On a personal level, NLP gave me the inner strength to leave a toxic situation and rebuild myself which lead to me discovering the love of my life! Today I am living the life that I’ve always wanted – but just hadn’t been able to put into words. I have never been this happy or this powerful. If you want to manifest the life of your dreams I would not hesitate to reach out for help from Kylie.”
Before attaining my NLP Coach certification, I was an online trainer who was getting excellent results for “some” of my clients. I used a mixture of experience, intuition and an exhausting “helicopter-parent” style of accountability coaching. It was like the 20% of the clients who weren’t getting good results took up 80% of my effort, and it was draining my passion for my business. Completing my Certification with Kylie has been the best decision of my career. The very next month after finishing I created a new program and made $30,000 in new sales. I now have a repeatable system to coach my clients and I can get them both immediate AND long-lasting change, sometimes in less than 40 minutes. In the past 12 months, I have doubled my freedom and fulfilment in my business I have created raving clients who snap up my offers.”
I signed up with Kylie because I knew that to have a bigger effect as a PT I needed to improve my understanding of how the mind works. Through NLP Coach training I now have great coaching techniques that break through all sorts of negative behaviour patterns. I’ve noticed big improvements in all areas of my life including my own personal finances and my client retention. This has allowed me new freedom to work on scaling my business and helping even more people with less one on one time from myself. The coach training has given me the ability to fully unlock the power of your mindset and those that don’t have this skill are only tapping into a small amount of their potential.
This morning I had a kick-ass coaching session with Kylie Ryan. We’ve been working together for a couple of months, and she’s the perfect person to help me integrate the rapid transformations I go through regularly. I’d been getting this vision of my fully mature creative and entrepreneurial self. His discipline, commitment, and command of wealth was 10x what mine is now, but it wasn’t really about money for him. Our coaching sessions usually roll with me saying, “Kylie, I want to be, do, and have EVERYTHING” and Kylie helping me find the archetypes and parts that aren’t integrated and bringing them together. MAGICK HAPPENS EVERY TIME.