The Mummy Excuse: Self-care is not selfish!
“I have no time to exercise because I work and I have young children.”
I hear this quite often. You say you want to be slim and healthy, to feel energized and confident. To be able to run and play with your kids. Yet you have no time to devote to this mission for health and happiness. Young kids, a business, a home, work, family to look after. No time to yourself. I get it. I have all that too.
The harsh truth is, (and I say this with absolute compassionate love) If you can’t find a way to devote 30 mins per day to what you say you want want then it’s really not as important to you as you think it is.
Imagine, if you will…
If you really wanted to get slim and healthy and live an amazing energized life, you would move mountains to make that time, and jump when an opportunity presents that can facilitate that change.
How do I know this? Let me present a scenario. Imagine… You have just contracted a rare disease and you must create abundant health and happiness in your life in 6 months or you will die. Drastic I know, but bear with me.
If you absolutely had to do this, and make it work with your current life: kids, family, work etc, how would you make the time to make the change then?
Who would you call to ask for help?
What would you get rid of? Let go of, or say “no” to in order to make the time?
A few minutes of Facebook and mindless TV are probably an easy place to start to shave time off the not important / not urgent category of tasks.
How would you get your kids taken care of so you have a few uninterrupted hours per week for whatever you needed to do to get well?
[adrotate banner=”4″]
It’s never a question of time or money.
It’s never a question of time or money. It’s always a question of your values and what is most important to you.
There’s no right or wrong in what you value and if you’re happy to put your health and wellbeing on the back burner while your kids grow up that’s your choice. Remember that it is a choice. Don’t get me wrong, I fully understand the crushing exhaustion and heart-wrenching choices that come with being a parent. Especially if you have limited or no family support, my heart goes out to you. However, if you don’t model health and happiness to your children through your actions, you’re only teaching them to put their health and wellbeing on the back burner too.
The barometer of self-love.
Your health is a barometer of how happy and fulfilled you are in life. How much you value yourself. How much you love yourself and prioritise looking after yourself. Notice I didn’t say weight, I said health. Health & happiness. If your health is suffering because you can’t eat clean more than you eat crap, and you can’t find 3 hours or a measly 1% of your week to do some kind of activity that makes your body feel good, then my bet is that you don’t really deeply love yourself.
I have seen too many beautiful women in my office in their mid 40’s, many carrying 5-20 extra kilos, tell me that they’ve lost themselves and don’t know who they are anymore. Too much of caring for everybody else at the expense of themselves. When mothers put everybody above themselves, they are not truly serving those people they love anyway, because it is a behaviour of over-responsibility that teaches those you care for to be lazy, under-responsible and look for someone else to do everything for them, or to become someone who is over-responsible themselves and put their own needs last.
Self-care is not selfish.
After many years of work on my own self-worth issues I have chosen to (selfishly some may say) beg, borrow, buy or steal a few uninterrupted hours each week to look after myself, in addition to my time working from home, because I want to lead by example teaching my kids to look after, love and prioritise themselves. I want to teach them that it is possible to have a loving relationship, happy family, health and a successful business that inspires and fulfils you. Yes I often feel guilty when I am away for a full day, and I don’t let that mummy guilt get the better of me. I know that it too is a distortion that doesn’t serve me. My daughter is loved and cared for at all times, and mostly by me, but sometimes Mum needs time to do her own stuff too.
What underpins all of this change is self-love. Loving yourself enough to say no to that nasty, critical inner voice that says “You can’t!”, “You’re not worthy”, or “What makes you so special?” or critically “You’re the only one that can do it” Loving yourself enough to not settle for mediocre, but to strive for awesome. Awesome as you define it. The kind of awesome that makes your heart sing. The kind of self- love that is truly loving of others as well. That realises that we are all worthy of being cared for and having out needs met. Value yourself as much as you value others that you love. Value yourself as much as you value your kids, or at least a really close second.
It only takes 1% of your week to start the ball rolling for this kind of change. It’s NEVER about the time. Your needs are as important as everybody else’s.
Agree? Disagree?
Please share your experiences of dealing with this mummy minefield and let’s start a conversation. And of course, if you like it, please share it and spread the love! 🙂
“We couldn’t recommend Kylie highly enough.”
“Having ongoing training is essential for our team and our business. It’s important to look after the people that look after others. Kylie has the experience, professionalism and knowledge to engage with our team and help them understand about human behaviour and why people do what they do. In the wellness and health industry it’s a different sales and service delivery and it’s imperative to keep on top of these understandings to perform at our best to help others. We couldn’t recommend Kylie high enough.”
- Amanda Bracks - Owner Soulful Fitness (2019 Fitness Australia Boutique of the Year)
“She’s the best speaker they’ve ever seen.”
“I have worked with Kylie over many years. She has helped me as a Business Mindset Coach, as a motivational speaker for my gym clients at both Vision Personal Training & now at Flow Athletic. I bring her in to train my Personal Training teams in mindset, communication and how to coach our clients better and excel in our own personal mastery as fitness leaders. At my recent Fitness Business event, my gym owner colleagues were blown away by her talk, saying she is the best speaker they have ever seen. After every event we always get rave reviews about her talks and training. I highly recommend Kylie’s work as a coach & speaker.”
- Ben Lucas - Founder & CEO, Flow Athletic
“So many things are just falling into my lap.”
“I finished the Spiritual Awakening Course yesterday and I found it truly amazing. An incredible next step after our coach training. I feel so much more enlightened and “opened-up”. It has really opened my eyes to the power of the universe and the energy flowing in each of us. I loved it – thank you.
I am feeling so lucky at the moment. So many things are just falling into my lap. I visualise it and set my intention to manifest it and it comes. Things such as getting more clients, needing help to put my business online, not knowing how to get known in my local community etc. Courses / insights / clients have just fallen into my lap at the right time.”
Of course I am still learning and growing, but the course has really helped. Thank you”
- Katharine Williams - NLP Coach, Limitless Growth
I started my coaching business from scratch before I’d finished the course!
“Before I met Kylie I was feeling very lost working full time in law in Sydney CBD. I’ve known my whole life that I was here to help people, but I just didn’t know exactly how. So when I found Kylie, it just was really fitting that it was going to help me ground my magic. I started the coach training and had an amazing time. It was beautiful to go through the process of having a mentor that had that spiritual element and that holistic element, as well as the very grounded science-based knowledge as well. So that really helped me to conjure that for myself.
I started my business before I even finished the course. I just started putting myself out there. And now I’ve gotten it to a point where I’ve got really grounded solid message, and two years later am running a multi-6 figure coaching business as a leading pioneer in my niche, helping clients all over the world.”
- Ari Kala - Psychic Development Coach
“I have never been this happy or powerful.”
“Before I signed up with Kylie I had a busy PT business… I was exhausted and on the brink of burnout and no matter how hard I tried, I had reached a ceiling in my income that I just couldn’t break through. After completing my NLP Coaching certification, I found my true voice and the energy of my business has been completely transformed. I’ve created an online program, up-levelled my entire business and totally smashed my previous income goals. I make decisions more confidently and I can help my clients create change in their life even faster. On a personal level, NLP gave me the inner strength to leave a toxic situation and rebuild myself which lead to me discovering the love of my life! Today I am living the life that I’ve always wanted – but just hadn’t been able to put into words. I have never been this happy or this powerful. If you want to manifest the life of your dreams I would not hesitate to reach out for help from Kylie.”
- Danni Vee - Women's Health Coach, My Fit Tribe
“I made 30K in new sales the month after graduating”
Before attaining my NLP Coach certification, I was an online trainer who was getting excellent results for “some” of my clients. I used a mixture of experience, intuition and an exhausting “helicopter-parent” style of accountability coaching. It was like the 20% of the clients who weren’t getting good results took up 80% of my effort, and it was draining my passion for my business. Completing my Certification with Kylie has been the best decision of my career. The very next month after finishing I created a new program and made $30,000 in new sales. I now have a repeatable system to coach my clients and I can get them both immediate AND long-lasting change, sometimes in less than 40 minutes. In the past 12 months, I have doubled my freedom and fulfilment in my business I have created raving clients who snap up my offers.”
- Bianca Aiono, PT Business Mentor & NLP Coach
“I’ve noticed big improvements in my finances and client retention”
I signed up with Kylie because I knew that to have a bigger effect as a PT I needed to improve my understanding of how the mind works. Through NLP Coach training I now have great coaching techniques that break through all sorts of negative behaviour patterns. I’ve noticed big improvements in all areas of my life including my own personal finances and my client retention. This has allowed me new freedom to work on scaling my business and helping even more people with less one on one time from myself. The coach training has given me the ability to fully unlock the power of your mindset and those that don’t have this skill are only tapping into a small amount of their potential.
- Blake Worrall-Thompson, Performance Coach & PT
“Magick happens every time!”
This morning I had a kick-ass coaching session with Kylie Ryan. We’ve been working together for a couple of months, and she’s the perfect person to help me integrate the rapid transformations I go through regularly. I’d been getting this vision of my fully mature creative and entrepreneurial self. His discipline, commitment, and command of wealth was 10x what mine is now, but it wasn’t really about money for him. Our coaching sessions usually roll with me saying, “Kylie, I want to be, do, and have EVERYTHING” and Kylie helping me find the archetypes and parts that aren’t integrated and bringing them together. MAGICK HAPPENS EVERY TIME.
- Dane Tomas - Creator of The Spiral
Featured In
