I just want to draw your attention to something that has just become really clear to me today, and that is where your shadow shows up — your shadow trio. That’s become really clear to me because, recently, I’ve been working on this model of what allows a woman to become weightless, what are the key pillars, the queen key that allows a woman to step into her weightlessness, her sovereignty, and allows her to become the real reigning queen of her life. Those three pillars are power, pleasure, and presence.
It became clear to me today that each of those three pillars has an opposite. If you’re not in pleasure then you’re in pain. If you’re not in power, then you are trying to do things by force or you’re feeling like a victim and in drama, because you’re feeling powerless. And if you’re not present then you are distracted.
When you’re in that powerless state, you step into drama, you find yourself falling into drama and feeling like you’re the victim, or feeling like you need to be the martyr to resolve things because that’s how you validate yourself. Or feeling like you need to resolve things by forcing your way through and becoming the aggressor or the bully. That’s when you don’t feel genuine power within yourself.
When you’re not in pleasure, when you’re not living with the pleasure of life, then you drop into pain. And so, that shows up as pain in your body or pain in your life in some way — discomfort. Discomforting emotions, discomforting feelings in your body.
When you’re not in presence then you find yourself distracted, multi-tasking and scrolling and trying to do too many things at once and not putting enough attention into any one of them. This is where mother guilt shows up because you are at work, wishing you were with your kids. Or, with your kids, trying to do a million other things and not really being present with your kids.
I just wanted to draw your attention to that without judgment, just noticing where that shadow trio shows up in your life.
For me, that shadow trio shows up when I’ve had extended parenting time and haven’t had a bit of a time out to recalibrate and get myself back into spirit, into nature, and just be in quiet and peace. I really need quiet and stillness in order to operate at my best, and so I need to make that a priority to get some quiet and stillness in my day regardless of what goes on. Even being a working parent working from home, my kids have been with me all day today, but I get to go out for a little walk tonight and just recalibrate.
Where do you feel like you are dropping into your shadow? Where are you feeling powerless or feeling like you have to use force? Where are you feeling pain? And where are you becoming distracted from your life or trying to multitask, trying to do too many things at once with too little presence.
That is the shadow trio that drops us into powerlessness and takes us in this survival spiral, and it doesn’t anywhere good.
Share in the comments below… Where do you drop into that shadow? And what could you do instead to help yourself get out of it?
We have our next Weightless Woman Weekend coming up at the amazing Twin Waters in Sunshine Coast. It’s at the end of February. You can find all the details at weightlesswoman.com.au. Just come and share a weekend with us! Have a weekend away with some really amazing women and learn some really incredible personal growth techniques that are going to leave your life better then when you came and joined us. Tickets are on sale now. Grab a ticket, come along, and join us for the Weightless Woman Weekend, so you can discover how you can become weightless and step into the reigning queendom of your own life!
“Having ongoing training is essential for our team and our business. It’s important to look after the people that look after others. Kylie has the experience, professionalism and knowledge to engage with our team and help them understand about human behaviour and why people do what they do. In the wellness and health industry it’s a different sales and service delivery and it’s imperative to keep on top of these understandings to perform at our best to help others. We couldn’t recommend Kylie high enough.”
I have worked with Kylie over many years. She has helped me as a Business Mindset Coach, as a motivational speaker for clients when I had my gyms with Vision and more recently at Flow Athletic. I bring her in to train my Personal Training teams in mindset, communication and how to coach our clients better and excel in our own personal mastery.
I highly recommend her work.