I just want to draw your attention to something that has just become really clear to me today, and that is where your shadow shows up — your shadow trio. That’s become really clear to me because, recently, I’ve been working on this model of what allows a woman to become weightless, what are the key pillars, the queen key that allows a woman to step into her weightlessness, her sovereignty, and allows her to become the real reigning queen of her life. Those three pillars are power, pleasure, and presence.
It became clear to me today that each of those three pillars has an opposite. If you’re not in pleasure then you’re in pain. If you’re not in power, then you are trying to do things by force or you’re feeling like a victim and in drama, because you’re feeling powerless. And if you’re not present then you are distracted.
When you’re in that powerless state, you step into drama, you find yourself falling into drama and feeling like you’re the victim, or feeling like you need to be the martyr to resolve things because that’s how you validate yourself. Or feeling like you need to resolve things by forcing your way through and becoming the aggressor or the bully. That’s when you don’t feel genuine power within yourself.
When you’re not in pleasure, when you’re not living with the pleasure of life, then you drop into pain. And so, that shows up as pain in your body or pain in your life in some way — discomfort. Discomforting emotions, discomforting feelings in your body.
When you’re not in presence then you find yourself distracted, multi-tasking and scrolling and trying to do too many things at once and not putting enough attention into any one of them. This is where mother guilt shows up because you are at work, wishing you were with your kids. Or, with your kids, trying to do a million other things and not really being present with your kids.
I just wanted to draw your attention to that without judgment, just noticing where that shadow trio shows up in your life.
For me, that shadow trio shows up when I’ve had extended parenting time and haven’t had a bit of a time out to recalibrate and get myself back into spirit, into nature, and just be in quiet and peace. I really need quiet and stillness in order to operate at my best, and so I need to make that a priority to get some quiet and stillness in my day regardless of what goes on. Even being a working parent working from home, my kids have been with me all day today, but I get to go out for a little walk tonight and just recalibrate.
Where do you feel like you are dropping into your shadow? Where are you feeling powerless or feeling like you have to use force? Where are you feeling pain? And where are you becoming distracted from your life or trying to multitask, trying to do too many things at once with too little presence.
That is the shadow trio that drops us into powerlessness and takes us in this survival spiral, and it doesn’t anywhere good.
Share in the comments below… Where do you drop into that shadow? And what could you do instead to help yourself get out of it?
We have our next Weightless Woman Weekend coming up at the amazing Twin Waters in Sunshine Coast. It’s at the end of February. You can find all the details at weightlesswoman.com.au. Just come and share a weekend with us! Have a weekend away with some really amazing women and learn some really incredible personal growth techniques that are going to leave your life better then when you came and joined us. Tickets are on sale now. Grab a ticket, come along, and join us for the Weightless Woman Weekend, so you can discover how you can become weightless and step into the reigning queendom of your own life!
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“I have worked with Kylie over many years. She has helped me as a Business Mindset Coach, as a motivational speaker for my gym clients at both Vision Personal Training & now at Flow Athletic.
I bring her in to train my Personal Training teams in mindset, communication and how to coach our clients better and excel in our own personal mastery as fitness leaders.
At my recent Fitness Business event, my gym owner colleagues were blown away by her talk, saying she is the best speaker they have ever seen.
After every event we always get rave reviews about her talks and training.
I highly recommend her work.”
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I am feeling so lucky at the moment. So many things are just falling into my lap. I visualise it and set my intention to manifest it and it comes. Things such as getting more clients, needing help to put my business online, not knowing how to get known in my local community etc. Courses / insights / clients have just fallen into my lap at the right time.”
Of course I am still learning and growing, but the course has really helped. Thank you”
“Before I met Kylie I was feeling very lost working full time in law in Sydney CBD. I’ve known my whole life that I was here to help people, but I just didn’t know exactly how. So when I found Kylie, it just was really fitting that it was going to help me ground my magic. I started the coach training and had an amazing time. It was beautiful to go through the process of having a mentor that had that spiritual element and that holistic element, as well as the very grounded science-based knowledge as well. So that really helped me to conjure that for myself.
I started my business before I even finished the course. I just started putting myself out there. And now I’ve gotten it to a point where I’ve got really grounded solid message, and two years later am running a multi-6 figure coaching business as a leading pioneer in my niche, helping clients all over the world.”
“Before I signed up with Kylie I had a busy PT business… I was exhausted and on the brink of burnout and no matter how hard I tried, I had reached a ceiling in my income that I just couldn’t break through. After completing my NLP Coaching certification, I found my true voice and the energy of my business has been completely transformed. I’ve created an online program, up-levelled my entire business and totally smashed my previous income goals. I make decisions more confidently and I can help my clients create change in their life even faster. On a personal level, NLP gave me the inner strength to leave a toxic situation and rebuild myself which lead to me discovering the love of my life! Today I am living the life that I’ve always wanted – but just hadn’t been able to put into words. I have never been this happy or this powerful. If you want to manifest the life of your dreams I would not hesitate to reach out for help from Kylie.”
Before attaining my NLP Coach certification, I was an online trainer who was getting excellent results for “some” of my clients. I used a mixture of experience, intuition and an exhausting “helicopter-parent” style of accountability coaching. It was like the 20% of the clients who weren’t getting good results took up 80% of my effort, and it was draining my passion for my business. This meant my income was never predictable, I worked way too many hours, and I was constantly putting out spot-fires for energy-vampire clients.
Completing my Certification with Kylie has been the best decision of my career. The very next month after finishing I created a new and improved program with better boundaries and made $30,000 in new sales. I now have a repeatable system to coach my clients and I can get them both immediate AND long-lasting change, sometimes in less than 40 minutes.
In the past 12 months, I have doubled my freedom and fulfillment in my business I have created raving clients who snap up my offers and I’ve breathed fresh air into my business creativity. My income has remained the same, whilst I have halved the amount of work I was doing. This has given me the freedom to be a present mum and earn an excellent income from home.
I signed up with Kylie because I knew that to have a bigger effect as a PT I needed to improve my understanding of how the mind works. Through NLP Coach training I now have great coaching techniques that break through all sorts of negative behaviour patterns. I’ve noticed big improvements in all areas of my life including my own personal finances and my client retention. This has allowed me new freedom to work on scaling my business and helping even more people with less one on one time from myself. The coach training has given me the ability to fully unlock the power of your mindset and those that don’t have this skill are only tapping into a small amount of their potential.
This morning I had a kick-ass coaching session with Kylie Ryan.
We’ve been working together for a couple of months, and she’s the perfect person to help me integrate the rapid transformations I go through regularly. I’d been getting this vision of my fully mature creative and entrepreneurial self. His discipline, commitment, and command of wealth was 10x what mine is now, but it wasn’t really about money for him. Our coaching sessions usually roll with me saying, “Kylie, I want to be, do, and have EVERYTHING” and Kylie helping me find the archetypes and parts that aren’t integrated and bringing them together. MAGICK HAPPENS EVERY TIME.