I am seeing something in the emotional healing space that is important to talk about. I have seen this a few times with different people which is why I’m bringing it up as a general reflection.
When helping a client face parts of their unconscious that is upsetting or difficult for them to see, it is essential to create a lot of safety in the space with preframing, so that your client understands that they are not their behaviour or unconscious patterns, and then will be more open to change them without being triggered and shutting down….
You can preframe by telling stories to set up unconscious satety cushions for your clients, so that they have more resources to face their challenges.
Here’s some things I preframe when I know we are going into territory that is uncovering new and potentially ego-challenging ideas…
“We all have challenges and blind spots.
If you are doing a behaviour like XX that you know you wouldn’t consciously choose to do, but you’re doing it anyway, then some part of your unconscious mind that you are not aware of ( some call this shadow) is running that behaviour.
We all have shadow behaviours. It’s not that they are bad or anything like that, they are just in our blind spots.
They are usually the result of past programming or decisions we are no longer consciously aware of.
In our work together, we get to go on a journey to discover the places in your mind where you may have some old outdated programming that is causing behaviour that you would like to let go of…
Sometimes when we find that old programming it’s not always easy to see it.
It’s important to remember that you are not your behaviours.
You are not your beliefs.
You are not your past.
You are so much more than any of that.
I’m here to help you see through and beyond your current limitations and blind spots.
So when we find the frames of mind or limited programming, we can celebrate together, remembering that it’s not you, it’s just an old program you’re ready to see and let go of…
…just like when you discover you have some spinach stuck in your teeth when you’re out with friends…
the minute you see it, you get back the CHOICE to do something different.
While it’s in your blind spot it’s still pulling strings and affecting you without you knowing it.
So are you ready and willing to discover the causes of this X behaviour or problem?”
If you bring up archetypes / beliefs / challenging ideas without preframing like this, you may break rapport, as the client may feel threatened and judged, (even if that is not your intention) lose trust, and may feel you are being aggressive or judging them.
Deliberately triggering clients is NOT a recommended method of helping them to heal.
Unintentionally triggering clients can happen when you don’t preframe enough safety cushions first to help the client separate their Self from the behaviour or belief they are wanting to let go of.
Brushing off client feedback after triggering them as “just their projections” is not best practice, and feeds into a drama cycle that places the practitioner in the aggressor role and the client in the victim role.
We can hold ourselves to higher standards of practice, so that we don’t unintentionally hurt while trying to help.
Hope this gives some useful scripting and ideas on how to bring up challenging topics in a way that helps the client to be willing, and feel safe for you to help them move through and beyond it…
If you’d like to learn more about the nuances of becoming a great coach and uncovering your coaching superpowers, let’s CHAT on messenger here.
If you are a coach, are you in the SuperCoach Society yet? If not, get yourself in there. Epic convos happening in there right now.
“Having ongoing training is essential for our team and our business. It’s important to look after the people that look after others. Kylie has the experience, professionalism and knowledge to engage with our team and help them understand about human behaviour and why people do what they do. In the wellness and health industry it’s a different sales and service delivery and it’s imperative to keep on top of these understandings to perform at our best to help others. We couldn’t recommend Kylie high enough.”
“I have worked with Kylie over many years. She has helped me as a Business Mindset Coach, as a motivational speaker for my gym clients at both Vision Personal Training & now at Flow Athletic. I bring her in to train my Personal Training teams in mindset, communication and how to coach our clients better and excel in our own personal mastery as fitness leaders. At my recent Fitness Business event, my gym owner colleagues were blown away by her talk, saying she is the best speaker they have ever seen. After every event we always get rave reviews about her talks and training. I highly recommend Kylie’s work as a coach & speaker.”
“I finished the Spiritual Awakening Course yesterday and I found it truly amazing. An incredible next step after our coach training. I feel so much more enlightened and “opened-up”. It has really opened my eyes to the power of the universe and the energy flowing in each of us. I loved it – thank you.
I am feeling so lucky at the moment. So many things are just falling into my lap. I visualise it and set my intention to manifest it and it comes. Things such as getting more clients, needing help to put my business online, not knowing how to get known in my local community etc. Courses / insights / clients have just fallen into my lap at the right time.”
Of course I am still learning and growing, but the course has really helped. Thank you”
“Before I met Kylie I was feeling very lost working full time in law in Sydney CBD. I’ve known my whole life that I was here to help people, but I just didn’t know exactly how. So when I found Kylie, it just was really fitting that it was going to help me ground my magic. I started the coach training and had an amazing time. It was beautiful to go through the process of having a mentor that had that spiritual element and that holistic element, as well as the very grounded science-based knowledge as well. So that really helped me to conjure that for myself.
I started my business before I even finished the course. I just started putting myself out there. And now I’ve gotten it to a point where I’ve got really grounded solid message, and two years later am running a multi-6 figure coaching business as a leading pioneer in my niche, helping clients all over the world.”
“Before I signed up with Kylie I had a busy PT business… I was exhausted and on the brink of burnout and no matter how hard I tried, I had reached a ceiling in my income that I just couldn’t break through. After completing my NLP Coaching certification, I found my true voice and the energy of my business has been completely transformed. I’ve created an online program, up-levelled my entire business and totally smashed my previous income goals. I make decisions more confidently and I can help my clients create change in their life even faster. On a personal level, NLP gave me the inner strength to leave a toxic situation and rebuild myself which lead to me discovering the love of my life! Today I am living the life that I’ve always wanted – but just hadn’t been able to put into words. I have never been this happy or this powerful. If you want to manifest the life of your dreams I would not hesitate to reach out for help from Kylie.”
Before attaining my NLP Coach certification, I was an online trainer who was getting excellent results for “some” of my clients. I used a mixture of experience, intuition and an exhausting “helicopter-parent” style of accountability coaching. It was like the 20% of the clients who weren’t getting good results took up 80% of my effort, and it was draining my passion for my business. Completing my Certification with Kylie has been the best decision of my career. The very next month after finishing I created a new program and made $30,000 in new sales. I now have a repeatable system to coach my clients and I can get them both immediate AND long-lasting change, sometimes in less than 40 minutes. In the past 12 months, I have doubled my freedom and fulfilment in my business I have created raving clients who snap up my offers.”
I signed up with Kylie because I knew that to have a bigger effect as a PT I needed to improve my understanding of how the mind works. Through NLP Coach training I now have great coaching techniques that break through all sorts of negative behaviour patterns. I’ve noticed big improvements in all areas of my life including my own personal finances and my client retention. This has allowed me new freedom to work on scaling my business and helping even more people with less one on one time from myself. The coach training has given me the ability to fully unlock the power of your mindset and those that don’t have this skill are only tapping into a small amount of their potential.
This morning I had a kick-ass coaching session with Kylie Ryan. We’ve been working together for a couple of months, and she’s the perfect person to help me integrate the rapid transformations I go through regularly. I’d been getting this vision of my fully mature creative and entrepreneurial self. His discipline, commitment, and command of wealth was 10x what mine is now, but it wasn’t really about money for him. Our coaching sessions usually roll with me saying, “Kylie, I want to be, do, and have EVERYTHING” and Kylie helping me find the archetypes and parts that aren’t integrated and bringing them together. MAGICK HAPPENS EVERY TIME.