Wake Up Project with Danielle LaPorte in Sydney.

Last night I attended a very special evening with hundreds of fabulous women, a few amazing men and Danielle LaPorte.

As Jono the founder of Wake-Up Project said, the evening was “meant to be”, from him speaking to Danielle for the first time on Wednesday evening last week, to selling out the tickets in 5 hours on Thursday, to the amazing event he pulled together at the Art Gallery in Sydney the night was very special, including yummy complimentary chocolate from Loving Earth, my favourite, and a fabulous time to mingle with a glass of wine afterwards and chat.

Danielle was incredible, gracious, inspiring, humble and heart-warming. I even managed to get a few words and a gushy fan photo with her… Yikes!

Here are some of my notes from her off-the-cuff talk and Q&A.

On transformation…

Are you willing to not recognise yourself on the other side?

In the process of transformation the caterpillar must completely let go of being a caterpillar in order to become a butterfly. For a while inside the cocoon is just a soup of cells, no leg, no wing, nothing but soup. No spine. Terrifying. Nothing to hold onto. This is the moment of alchemy. She likened this to the fluid amorphous dark forest landscape Joseph Campbells hero enters into in the deepest, darkest part of the forest, where they lose all sense of who they are and where they are going.  This is the moment when you can completely change. But you may not recognise yourself on the other side. To fully transform you need to be willing to completely let go of who you were…

On the ups and downs…

There is an ebb and a flow. Don’t fight it. Instead of freaking out in the ebb, just take a holiday and relax, because soon the flow will come and you will wish you had rested when you could.

On Joy…

Your true nature is joy. We keep ourselves busy; checking phones, endless to-dos, because joy is terrifying. The flip-side of joy is fear. Peel the onion of who you are, let go of the layers of illusions and false beliefs and you will find joy at your core. This doesn’t mean you will always be happy or that you will have no guilt. Danielle says guilt is inherent in letting go and moving on. Especially as a parent…  Instead of fighting it, just live with it and keep moving forward. Your only job is to be your TRUE self. Life wants to hear your truth.

On goals…

We either love goals or hate them. Inspiring or constricting. Drive or bitter disappointment. She learned from arguing with a Buddhist llama called Llama Marc that we will always be attached to goals and outcomes. He asked her: “Are you being PUSHY as you go after them?” She was. Pushing your body too hard, pushing through fatigue, pushing to sell more, do more, pushing your clients & staff. When you push you will feel brittle and even if you achieve the goal it will not bring you joy. Life is wanting, you must want more, it is basic human nature, the trick is learning to allow, and not push. Fierce but flexible.

On envy & comparison…

She said every best-selling author or massive public success story she knows was simultaneously going through some hideous private time, divorce, health issues. There is always success and suffering together. Don’t compare yourself with others outer success. Read failure stories to help ground yourself.

Instead use it as healthy envy. Who do you envy? What do they have that you want or covet? This is a latent or emerging gift or talent within yourself. Use the envy as a mirror into your own soul and work on acknowledging yourself in that mirror.

She started with just 60 subscribers, of friends and family.

On transparency.

As a leader, coach, mentor, if you’re teaching people and you’re going through s#it, don’t talk about it while you’re going through it. Get through it, turn it into a lesson then talk about it.  – This was a revelation for one of my yoga teacher friends.

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On fear…

Danielle takes a hard-line when fear comes calling. “Ok I’ve got 10 minutes, what have you got to tell me?” You need to listen to fear, or you’ll crash your bus. But don’t put fear up the front. Listen to it and then stick it at the back. Put enthusiasm, inspiration & possibilities up the front. Possibilities first & realities second.

You don’t need permission to want what you want. If it calls to you, it is your desire. Go after it. If your excuses are all you think about then maybe you don’t want it badly enough…

On betrayal…

Outer betrayal by others is only a reflection of your own inner betrayal of yourself and your truth. She gives the example of when the lawyers were telling her she needed to sign something that said she could not sign her own cheques for her company, and every fibre of her being was screaming against it, and instead of saying something, she swallowed it, believed the lawyers and signed. Later she got kicked out of her own company.

On money…

Money is about worth. If you’re looking for more money, ask yourself where in your life do you already have this wealth? When you start to make more money in your business, you move up in chunks as your thinking grows. From $100 chunks to $1000 chunks, then $10,000 and so on…

Generosity is the best. When you can’t tell if you’re giving or receiving, you know you’ve hit the sweet spot.

On helping people…

She’s sick of self-help, and sick of helping people. Stop helping or trying to rescue or fix. Just have a good time. Live your most inspired, happy life and that is the best help you could ever give anyone.

Desire Mapping in 5 seconds….

The most potent form of clarity you can have is knowing how you want to feel. Look at your life ares and brainstorm how you want to feel in those areas. once you have a giant scrawl of amazing feelings, look for the patterns. How you want to feel in your car, & home is related to how you want to feel in your body. Find the core elements across it all. Distill it with the question “and what would X really FEEL like?” Once you have 2-7 or so feelings, ask yourself, what can I do today to feel that way? What can I do this year to feel that way? Pick 1-3 projects to work on in the year, no deadlines, or crazy targets, just with an intention that uplifts and will guide your soul, instead of gripping and exhausting you. Do what makes you feel the way you want to feel. It may be as simple as wearing lipstick or a dress, or as wonderful as a spa treatment, it can vary from day to day. Live from your core desired feelings. Use them as a barometer of your success.

When you are stressed, anxious, freaking out. Instead of overanalysing it, simply remind yourself. STOP. I don’t want to feel this way. I desire to feel  X, Y, Z. Consciously choose your path.

On letting a goal go…

Danielle recently and quite publicly just let go of a massive goal of creating her first magazine. When someone asked about it, she said she simply lost the zing for it, and one day asked herself: “Wouldn’t it be fun to NOT do it?” So even though she had a full staff and the first mag nearing completion, and invested $90,000 of her own money. She just stopped, let it go and repurposed the creative into other channels that were more aligned with her desires… Awesome. I love the lack of ego in this. If it doesn’t feel good, who cares what it is or how public you’ve been about doing it, if it’s not right let it go.

When a new idea comes in… This is the process she goes through with her team (of only possibility thinkers)

We could do that? Hmm. How does it feel? Is it heavy or light? If it’s light go forward. If it’s heavy, don’t.

If you’ve been chasing too long. If you’ve been going after a big goal for aaages, and it still hasn’t happened, maybe it’s time to let it go. If it were meant to happen it would have happened by now…

Quit earlier. Success is more about what you say no to.  Follow your intuition, but know that it doesn’t always work out peachy even then.

On obligation…

Obligation is a poison.

On Perfectionism…

Every masterpiece could have been done better. Perfectionism is fear. Just get it out. Ask yourself… Is it useful? Is it informative? Is it entertaining? Is it honest? Does is serve? Then hit go. Don’t ever hold back your best work. Give it all. You’ll come up with more. Keep rolling forward.

Decide to rise.

Expand, explore your place in the universe. YOU have a place in the universe. Your ecstasy and bliss is just on the other side of that decision to RISE.

On Waking Up…

The Wake Up Project is amazing, and I can highly recommend their events.  Find out more and get on their list here.  wakeupproject.com.au

And of course Danielle is fabulous and her two books Firestarter Sessions and Desire Map are truly brilliant. (She doesn’t remember writing the Desire Map! But read it back the other day and thought it was pretty good! Awesome.)  daniellelaporte.com