Perhaps it’s someone that you feel drawn to, or who needed a leg up or helping hand when they were in dire straights, and you felt really good about offering them assistance. Maybe they reminded you of yourself when you needed some help in the past, and you were passing on the goodwill or trying to be nice.
Helping people is a wonderful thing to do, when it comes from a place of overflow and love.
However there are times when helping people can draw you into a drama cycle without you realising it. If you find yourself helping people all the time, without feeling a fair exchange of energy, then you might have unwittingly become a rescuer.
When you fall into a rescuer position, the other person becomes the victim. Then the “helping” relationship actually prevents both of you from moving forward into your power.
And if you repeatedly give of your time, energy and support without a fair exchange, then you are undervaluing your own worth, and distracting yourself from serving people who are an energetic match for you, who can easily see and invest in your value.
Check through your business and personal relationships and assess if you feel there is an equal exchange of value and “lightness” to the interactions.
If there is just a whiff of drama cycle to it, the relationship will begin to feel “heavier”.
No-one has done anything wrong, sometimes it just happens as we all play out resolving past issues and clearing limitations in our lives. Both of you co-created the relationship as it is now.
And if it’s time for the relationship to evolve into equals, then perhaps it’s time for you to kindly and clearly state the boundaries that you now expect, and let the other person step into their power and either accept the new relationship, or move on to something else.
Helping is just martyrdom if you don’t feel 100% joyous in the giving.
When you accept and honour your own value, you give permission for everyone who is in contact with you to fully step up and honour THEIR value too. So by setting the new boundaries you are actually helping everyone in a far deeper and more profound, lasting way.
with love and gratitude,
“Having ongoing training is essential for our team and our business. It’s important to look after the people that look after others. Kylie has the experience, professionalism and knowledge to engage with our team and help them understand about human behaviour and why people do what they do. In the wellness and health industry it’s a different sales and service delivery and it’s imperative to keep on top of these understandings to perform at our best to help others. We couldn’t recommend Kylie high enough.”
I have worked with Kylie over many years. She has helped me as a Business Mindset Coach, as a motivational speaker for clients when I had my gyms with Vision and more recently at Flow Athletic. I bring her in to train my Personal Training teams in mindset, communication and how to coach our clients better and excel in our own personal mastery.
I highly recommend her work.