No one has a problem with motivation ever. Yes, you read that right. You don’t need more motivation. I’m not writing my way out of a job either, I can help you with your motivation, by increasing your self-awareness and clarity about what is really important to you. I can help you get super, crystal clear about your pains and pleasures, which drive your motivation.
The thing is, you are always be innately and inherently motivated to do things that are important to you. And you will consistently struggle with those things that are less important to you.
When you are attempting to live by someone else’s values you will always struggle with motivation. If you have a job you don’t like you may drag your feet getting up, hit snooze and be late, tired and disinterested, you might struggle with energy and motivation all day long. You’re trying to live your bosses values… BUT if someone told you they were going to take you away for an amazing day with your favourite person in the world, in your favourite place in the world, doing your favourite thing. You would be filled with energy and vitality ready and raring to go. You would probably even be up before your alarm, not able to sleep from excitement and anticipation.
You ALWAYS have time, energy, money for those things that are important to you. If you have kids, no matter how exhausted you are, you don’t need anyone to remind you to get up to look after your children, do you? Or to come home and make them dinner? If you love shopping and fashion, you don’t need to be reminded to read the emails about the latest designer sales, or to check Pinterest or Instagram for fashion ideas. You just do it because you love it.
If you’re struggling with exercise and eating well, or with quitting smoking for example, it’s because your health just isn’t that important to you right now. It’s not right or wrong, it’s just that you don’t really care about it. However if you suddenly got diagnosed with cancer or some other big killer disease, most likely health would jump to the top of your values and you would be researching and reading and spending money on trying to save your health. If you don’t care about your health now, then that means you are healthy enough to do whatever else is important to you. As soon as your health dips low enough to affect those other things you will become concerned with that instead.
TIP: any time you say I SHOULD… you’re injecting someone else’s values onto your own.
Anytime you don’t have clarity in your life and in your mind, an obstacle will pop up to show you that very fact. An obstacle is just someone else’s stuff being projected into your life because you don’t have a direction yourself. If you are not clear about what really makes you TRULY, deeply happy then you will get pulled from here to there, following in the wake and vortex of someone else’s clarity and direction. “To thine own self be true”, is the most succinct path to happiness there ever was. Shakespeare was right. You might even say “I’m just a go with the flow type of person” That’s fine, and realise that going with someone else’s flow will likely lead you where you don’t really want to go, then when you get there you might get upset, depressed and demoralised wondering how your life got so far from what is in your heart.
There are many reasons why people struggle with direction and motivation, most of it boils down to fear: fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of success. Everyone struggles with these fears, a little or a lot. However these fears can disappear when you are truly and completely committed to a goal that is bigger than yourself; then the miracle feeling of faith and dedication emerges and the fear gets sent packing. All of those fears are just imagined future obstacles, they don’t event exist yet! And may never. When you are working for something bigger than yourself then the service of your goal helps to to stop focusing on your problems and instead focus on how you can help others.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal. – Henry Ford
So how does it feel to know that you are already motivated? Good right! Now you just need to value and count those things you’re already motivated to.
Here’s a few questions to help you work out some things you value already…
1. What do you do every day without ever being asked or reminded?
2. What do you do in your spare time?
3. What do you always find the money for, even when you are a bit tight?
4. What makes you excited and energised when you think about doing it?
Your top values will show up every time, For example if you value beauty: you might do your hair and makeup every morning without fail, you might read magazines and follow beauty or fashion bloggers in your spare time, you would always find the money for that pair of shoes or your manicure, and the thought of a new amazing designer outfit could send you into a spin of pleasure. Awesome! That means Beauty is one of your top values. Though it might seem to some to be frivolous, beauty is a wonderful value, and those who care about beauty make the world more glorious and harmonious place to live. What do you value?
Unfortunately nothing worth having ever comes easily, the reason this is true is because it’s not actually the end result that is the thing worth having, but the person you needed to become in order to achieve it. If you do know what you want but are trying to circumvent the natural order and get the results instantly then you will struggle with your motivation. This problem is rife in our quick fix, instant fame, get rich, celebrity focused society. Anyone who achieves success with longevity has worked for it, daily, for many many years to get to that point. Trying to win the lotto, or get your dream job as your first job, is not impossible, but will rarely lead you to your true happiness. You don’t value anything that comes to you too easily. When you achieve something you have worked for and saved for and strived for, it feels incredible. So forget the quick fix and instead accept the long haul, you’ll find that the long road once is much quicker than the quick road 10 times over…
Once you count what you are already doing and have clarity about what you really value, you can begin to formulate a plan to a life that truly fulfills you.
I’ll follow up some steps to do that in the next article…
I’ve passed the big 4-0! I’ve now ‘released’ 48kgs, since the birth of my son 2 years ago. To Kylie, Selina and all my GBQ sisters, you helped me to get out of my own way, so I could coach my inner critic and encourage my cheerleader. I am getting my pre-babies mojo back and am in a better headspace than when I was fighting fit! I feel like GBQ really delivered on the greatest gift, self-love and clarity, and has given me the confidence and conviction to continue my journey! Thank you.
With Kylie’s help I released the hopelessness & anger I was using as an excuse, and have stepped out of my shell with a vengeance! I’m now clear on what I want to do with my life and I’m taking steps towards making it a reality, and in doing so my entire eating habits have changed… the ‘hunger subsided’ & I’ve stuck to my better eating habits and gym workouts easily. It’s been amazing!
Working with Kylie has been life changing. Kylie helped me get back in touch with my own body, taught me how to nourish myself and get my glowing, gorgeous body. She helped me move from self-loathing to self-love. She taught me how to consciously turn down the critical voice and turn up my inner cheerleader. Without a doubt starting with your mindset is the first place to start on your weight loss journey. Lasting results for sure and totally life changing!
What I have gotten out of the course can’t be measured. I glow from the inside out! For the first time in years; I am happy because I am happy! I love myself – I can actually look in a mirror with no self loathing… I love the woman smiling back at me and not just because my body has changed on the outside – I have changed from the inside and it is a reflection!
Everything has really changed, I finally let the girl inside out. I feel like my life has really just started. I’ve had a massive increase in personal power (from zero), sense of possibility, happiness, resilience, CONFIDENCE! Reached my first weight loss goal, I have gone from a size 12 to an 8-10. I love myself and respect myself for the first time, I cannot express how much this has changed me. Thank you does not even cut it.
I have been struggling with my weight and feeling of not being good enough for as long as I can remember…This has changed for me now. I have had more awakenings and realisations and learnings than I thought possible in the past few months. This really is SOOOOO not about the weight. I TOTALLY get that now.
I have loads more energy… I’m eating so well and exercising when I can. With my 1st baby I couldn’t cope with the emotional roller-coaster that is pregnancy. I ate, and ate, and ate non-stop. My head is in such a great place at the moment. I owe it all to Kylie and your Goddess Body Quest program x