How you decide to spend your money, your time, your energy, and effort is dictated by your values. It’s your internal mechanism for knowing what things to focus on and what to ignore.
The freaky thing is that it’s the hierarchy of your values which really affects you. That’s when you choose one thing over another.
Your values hierarchy is the list of things or ideas that are important to you, in the order that they are important. You already have this values hierarchy inside, even though you probably never consciously thought about it. It’s just one of the ways that human brains are designed to organise things.
You have picked up your values through your life by modeling and learning from your parents, your teachers, your friends and colleagues, people you admire and people you dislike.
You pick up your values with that executive function you have in your mind, that meta-choice. That higher part of your mind that takes an idea or and says “yes” or “no” to it.
For example, if your parents worked really hard and gave everything they had for you as their child, you may have unconsciously said “yes” to the values of family and hard work. If you heard them say things like “Money’s not the most important thing you know” or “Money doesn’t buy you happiness” you may have devalued money compared to happiness or love, friendship or family. Or simply devalued it altogether. If you did that, I would not be surprised if you had very little in your bank account right now.
You values can naturally change and shift over your life as you are exposed to different things and have epiphanies about “what’s really important”. Sometimes people who have been in an accident, or have had a life threatening illness, or who have lost someone they were very close to may say things like: “You know those things I used to worry about, just aren’t important anymore”. They have had a spontaneous values realignment, based on their experiences.
Your values shift as you go through different phases in your life. For example, when you were a child, your parents were the center of your world and highly valued, then, as you went into your moody teenage years and began socialising, you probably devalued your parents, separated yourself from them, and began to value your friends’ opinions more and more. Then perhaps as you get older still and became an adult in your 20’s and 30’s you may re-evaluate your relationship with your parents again and begin to value them highly again, though in a different way. This is a natural phase of growth, and it is a good illustration of a natural shift of values.
Your values are the foundation, like the branches of a tree, all the other ideas that you have about that thing, hang off that value. Both positive and negative ideas can be encompassed in the representation and feelings your have about that one word or idea. Everyone’s values incorporate the social memes or ideas about that value as well as your own personal beliefs, experiences and decisions. For example, if you think about the value of health, most people would agree that health is important and would agree to a certain extent about the definition of what that means, but every person has a different value on their health and how that idea fits into their life. You may think health is the absence of disease, not being sick, or you may think of it as being full of boundless energy and vitality, it may incorporate fitness, and sport, or medicines, supplements and pharmaceutical drugs. What does health mean to you? What images, ideas and memories does that word conjure up for you? Is it an empowering word?
Each one of us will either be empowered or disempowered by our ideas and beliefs that form around our values, if you think of health as not being sick, and it conjures a fear of getting ill or hurt, that’s probably not very empowering for you, and likely creates a feeling of worry or anxiety. Which in turn would cause you to de-value your health, then you would find that something always “comes up” when you try to get to the gym or go food shopping. If on the other hand, it is linked to ideas of happy times playing sports, or exercising, eating delicious healthy food and feeling great then you will probably feel empowered about the idea and no matter how busy life gets, you always have time for your health.
Do you see how powerful these simple words are?
Discover your values activity.
So, my question to you is: Do you know what your values are? Do you know what’s most important and least important to you?
I urge you to take some time to reflect on what is most important to you in your life. When I say this, I mean what values, what abstract concepts are important to you: e.g. Family, Health, Passion, Abundance, Joy, Meaningful Work, etc.
With one client, when we shifted his value from Health and Fitness (which was not very exciting for him) to Vitality he immediately shifted and found that he could actually get excited about doing exercise! Amazing! It just took one word to shift the whole perspective.
Understand too, that when you shift one value up, another one will get bumped down. They can’t all be number one. Those things that are higher on your values, you will always have time for, and you will be organized in that area. Those things that are lower on your values list you will have more disorganization, or chaos. That is why as you grow and become more aware your values will become more and more abstract, something like, Passion, Excellence, Peace or Oneness may become your highest value, and that can trickle down and positively influence all the different areas of your life.
Philosopher and teacher Dr. Demartini has made this joke: “Didn’t you know that’s the purpose of marriage? You marry someone who has opposite values to you, so you can delegate the stuff you don’t want to do to your husband or wife. And they do the same to you!” He has a point. He says that the highest purpose is that through loving the other person, we can learn to love those things that we de- value in ourselves and thus learn to love ourselves more fully. I like that.
What do you value? What’s important to you?
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“I have worked with Kylie over many years. She has helped me as a Business Mindset Coach, as a motivational speaker for my gym clients at both Vision Personal Training & now at Flow Athletic. I bring her in to train my Personal Training teams in mindset, communication and how to coach our clients better and excel in our own personal mastery as fitness leaders. At my recent Fitness Business event, my gym owner colleagues were blown away by her talk, saying she is the best speaker they have ever seen. After every event we always get rave reviews about her talks and training. I highly recommend Kylie’s work as a coach & speaker.”
“I finished the Spiritual Awakening Course yesterday and I found it truly amazing. An incredible next step after our coach training. I feel so much more enlightened and “opened-up”. It has really opened my eyes to the power of the universe and the energy flowing in each of us. I loved it – thank you.
I am feeling so lucky at the moment. So many things are just falling into my lap. I visualise it and set my intention to manifest it and it comes. Things such as getting more clients, needing help to put my business online, not knowing how to get known in my local community etc. Courses / insights / clients have just fallen into my lap at the right time.”
Of course I am still learning and growing, but the course has really helped. Thank you”
“Before I met Kylie I was feeling very lost working full time in law in Sydney CBD. I’ve known my whole life that I was here to help people, but I just didn’t know exactly how. So when I found Kylie, it just was really fitting that it was going to help me ground my magic. I started the coach training and had an amazing time. It was beautiful to go through the process of having a mentor that had that spiritual element and that holistic element, as well as the very grounded science-based knowledge as well. So that really helped me to conjure that for myself.
I started my business before I even finished the course. I just started putting myself out there. And now I’ve gotten it to a point where I’ve got really grounded solid message, and two years later am running a multi-6 figure coaching business as a leading pioneer in my niche, helping clients all over the world.”
“Before I signed up with Kylie I had a busy PT business… I was exhausted and on the brink of burnout and no matter how hard I tried, I had reached a ceiling in my income that I just couldn’t break through. After completing my NLP Coaching certification, I found my true voice and the energy of my business has been completely transformed. I’ve created an online program, up-levelled my entire business and totally smashed my previous income goals. I make decisions more confidently and I can help my clients create change in their life even faster. On a personal level, NLP gave me the inner strength to leave a toxic situation and rebuild myself which lead to me discovering the love of my life! Today I am living the life that I’ve always wanted – but just hadn’t been able to put into words. I have never been this happy or this powerful. If you want to manifest the life of your dreams I would not hesitate to reach out for help from Kylie.”
Before attaining my NLP Coach certification, I was an online trainer who was getting excellent results for “some” of my clients. I used a mixture of experience, intuition and an exhausting “helicopter-parent” style of accountability coaching. It was like the 20% of the clients who weren’t getting good results took up 80% of my effort, and it was draining my passion for my business. Completing my Certification with Kylie has been the best decision of my career. The very next month after finishing I created a new program and made $30,000 in new sales. I now have a repeatable system to coach my clients and I can get them both immediate AND long-lasting change, sometimes in less than 40 minutes. In the past 12 months, I have doubled my freedom and fulfilment in my business I have created raving clients who snap up my offers.”
I signed up with Kylie because I knew that to have a bigger effect as a PT I needed to improve my understanding of how the mind works. Through NLP Coach training I now have great coaching techniques that break through all sorts of negative behaviour patterns. I’ve noticed big improvements in all areas of my life including my own personal finances and my client retention. This has allowed me new freedom to work on scaling my business and helping even more people with less one on one time from myself. The coach training has given me the ability to fully unlock the power of your mindset and those that don’t have this skill are only tapping into a small amount of their potential.
This morning I had a kick-ass coaching session with Kylie Ryan. We’ve been working together for a couple of months, and she’s the perfect person to help me integrate the rapid transformations I go through regularly. I’d been getting this vision of my fully mature creative and entrepreneurial self. His discipline, commitment, and command of wealth was 10x what mine is now, but it wasn’t really about money for him. Our coaching sessions usually roll with me saying, “Kylie, I want to be, do, and have EVERYTHING” and Kylie helping me find the archetypes and parts that aren’t integrated and bringing them together. MAGICK HAPPENS EVERY TIME.